femme le bouche

let’s be friends with benefits. the benefits? you get to be friends with me

ok this is really sweet

dudes literally just be dumb af

LMAO

i guess im just too fucking dumb to lucid dream. cant ever realize im in a dream, i’ll look around me like damn i’m in my old elementary school and my teeth are falling out and im naked? well shit guess this is my life now. got fooled by my subconscious again lads

who needs boys when you have poetry written by early 20th century women who also didn’t need boys

2k17: the year we all get wonderful cute boyfriends.

today my gf said “when donkey asks shrek what his name is, shrek pauses before he says shrek, and i’m convinced he came up with it on the spot.” we weren’t even talking about shrek. i can’t stop thinking about it or about how lucky i am to be with her

“People are freaking out about this edible cookie dough!” All cookie dough is edible if you aren’t a bitch

u kno wat fuck college

Imma still go tho imma still go

i watched my brother drop a remote on his foot and the only thing he said was “i am so sick of being alive”