rubatosis

She felt the blood drain from her face as Cerise’s words registered. This wasn’t supposed to be how it happened, she was supposed to tell Cerise before she found out, before Ashton found her. “Just to be sure... what secret are you talking about?” Ruby wasn’t sure why she was even asking  that question - there was only one secret she had spilled since the quarantine had started.

“I’d honestly prefer a scowl to bags under my eyes any day of the week,” Adriana mumbled in response with a hint of lightheartedness in her tone. “If you want my expert opinion, I’d say just stay home and enjoy the luxury of being lazy. Unless you can speed up time or cure diseases, your options may be slightly limited. But you could always pretend to be me whenever you feel like it so I can have a break.”

She couldn’t help the snort of laughter that passed through her at the idea of posing as law enforcement. “Picture me with dark auburn hair and a police uniform. Would I pass as your imitation?”

‘ how can you stand there and tell me that when you know damn well i’m right? when another teacher or principal walks in, everyone acts fake and doll-like, then, when they leave, it’s back to the insensitivity. ‘ his face contorted into that of disgust. ‘ i don’t need your pity. ‘

“It’s not pity, it’s concern. Compassion is not a crime Hayden, why do you want to fight everyone on every single thing they say? Be responsible, take ownership of your mistakes. Go to the principal’s office, or don’t,” Ruby couldn’t handle this conversation much longer. She wasn’t trained or prepared to work with kids that were as obstinate as Hayden was. “Just know, that there’s at least one teacher in this school that wants to see you graduate. I really hope to see you in my classes on Monday.”

Jade laughed, quick and sweet, at Ruby’s words. “You know I agree with you there. I look absolutely horrible in orange, so,” Not that she looked much better in pink, either - but that was besides the point. Shrugging carefully, Jade played with her empty shot glass and avoided Ruby’s gaze. “Lotta reasons, I guess. You know me - I suck at communication 90% of the time, and a lot of the shit I wasn’t talking about just bred resentment and hostility. All in all it came to a head and… we broke up.” She sighed a moment later, and pushed the hair out of her eyes, turning her gaze back to Ruby. “And now it’s like. I don’t know. This containment is fucking with shit because… here I am, debating the merits of getting back together with her.”

Noticying the empty glasses, Ruby took it upon herself to refill them. For a long moment she thought about what to say, “Well, Jade, I hope it goes well. I still don’t think it’s a good idea, no offense, but I still hope that you and Isabel can work it out,” she shrugged, "Then again, I didn’t think drinking during this quarantine was a good idea, but I feel better than I have since they put the fence up.” 

“I mean, you would really do that? Because you don’t have to, especially with the quarantine and everything. I get the concern, but I’m not supposed to be your responsibility outside of class.” Max reminded her, also feeling like she didn’t want to burden her with anything. She would just have to stick it out on her own until the two days were up. 

“I’m not helping you because I’m your teacher, I’m helping because any decent human being would,” Ruby claimed. “Besides, Maxine, you’re almost an adult, I don’t think you need to be anyone’s responsibility.” What Ruby was saying  and what she felt were two different things. Honestly, she did feel like Maxine was a little bit her responsibility. “Have you eaten? Why don’t you come up, I’ll cook you breakfast.”

“One half-sister. One step-sister.” Is Ashton’s automatic response, voice as robotic as it always is when he discusses Ashyr and Heidi. He really doesn’t need to go over the fucked up situation that is his siblings, least of all not right now.”So unless two women can now defy the laws of biolgy and have a kid… Ruby. Please, please just. Be honest here. Please.” He asks, desperation and pain lacing his voice. “Is - is Cerise’s daughter mine too?” He’s done the math, of course, and Ruby says the kid has looked like him, but. He has to know. He has to hear it from Ruby.

Her mouth opened to deny it, the word ‘No’ forming on her lips. She couldn’t lie at this point, but how could she tell him the truth? “Ashton, I can’t tell you. How can you expect me to be the one to tell you?” She wasn’t sure why he even needed to hear it, when he so obviously knew. It was such a shock to hear him say please, he was begging her and that was something Ruby thought would never happen. Maybe it was shock when she said, “Biologically, Dahlia’s your child.” Cerise was going to murder her.

It was two words, at first. Just two simple little words, - but strung together, they had the effect of turning his whole world upside down, bottom falling out from underneath him. Like you. Like you. Ashton freezes, shock flooding his eyes and his mind essentially going blank sans for those two words. He had a daughter. A little daughter. A little girl, who apparently looked enough like him for other people to notice. He had a daughter with Cerise. A little girl - one half him, one half her. “I - I have a daughter?” Ashton says, his voice questioning and wondering and utterly fascinated with the idea. He was a father. But just like that, he realises his daughter is also three years old. She’s a toddler, and he wasn’t there for any of it - not her birth, not her first words, her first steps, the first time she was brought home. He missed all the big firsts, and… why? Why would Cerise keep something like that from him? Ashton snaps back into himself, the shock, wonder and fascination fading from his face and being replaced with anger. “I have a daughter, and you, and Cerise kept that from me. I feel like I should ask why the fuck you thought that was even a remotely good idea but I’m getting the feeling I won’t even like any answer you could give me right now.”

Seeing the variety of expressions flash over his face so quickly was unsettling. It was a little scary when Ashton settled on anger and directed it at her. “Nope, no, I did not say that you have a daughter,” she claimed, thinking over her words and trying to back peddle, “I said she looks like you... but I mean probably lots of people look like you that doesn’t mean she’s your child. She could be someone else’s child related to you,” she was desperately trying to come up with another theory for him to latch on. She knew by his expression that she wasn’t fooling anyone. Still, she asked, “Do you have a brother?”

“How could you need a break from something as exhilarating as paperwork?” she asked, though it was obvious in the tone of her voice that she was being sarcastic.

“Cerise has a daughter.” Ashton repeated flatly, a feeling of dread curling in the pit of his stomach. But it couldn’t be, right? Their night was… three years ago. No. It couldn’t have been. It was a coincidence, happen-stance. Cerise must have just been with someone after him, or something along those lines. Right? But Ashton had never believed in coincidences, years and years on the force having solidified that belief for him. “A three year old daughter.”

 “And thank god it was a daughter and not a son,” she began rambling, still feeling a little panicked at the topic of something happening to Cerise. “I think a little boy would have turned out to be a little asshole like you, but this little girl she acts so much like her momma even though she looks like you. She’s  got Cerise’s smarts and spunk and...” she trailed off,  the words she had said finally replying in her head. Like you, like you. She might have well just have told him he was the goddamn father. She stood suddenly. “Nope, I did not say that you didn’t hear that,” she said distressedly, hoping her words would ring true and he really hadn’t heard her.

She turned her head to the voice who addressed her, surprised to see the biology teacher in her bathrobe and pajamas. Normally, Maxine would take this opportunity to study a teacher out of its natural environment. Out in the real world students would often forget their educators were real people. “I’m not lost, just nowhere to go. My house is on the other side of the fence.”

Ruby’s eyes went wide as she recognized the girl as one of her students. Hearing the girl was stranded within the quarantine was awful. She felt a slight bit of second hand panic on Maxine’s behalf. “You have no nowhere to go? No family? No friends? Oh my god, Maxine, does your family at least know you’re alive? That you’re okay?”

“Jesus, Ruby,” Jade shook her head, slightly awed and wondrous at her blonde friend. “That’s a new level, even for you.” It was always hilarious to hear stories of how Ruby took people down a notch or two - mostly because people didn’t even expect Ruby to have a bad bone in her body. It was the blonde hair of course, stupid as at it was. Clinking her shot glass against Ruby’s, she threw the liquid back, before biting the next bullet. “Me and my ex agreed we were gonna try and figure us out. Just thought you might wanna know that. Or something.”

“What? He accused me of being bitter, so I accused him of being malevolent,” she said like it was perfectly reasonable. Maybe she enjoyed Jade’s awed reaction a little too much, feeling almost like it was praise. “Figure out.. what? You’re going to get back together?” Ruby asked, perplexed and not fully understanding. She was a little jaded, but she 100% believed that exes couldn’t get along once they were that. No do overs. No getting back together. “Jade, exes are bad news, we know this. There’s a reason w e break up with them, or that they break up with us. Either way.”