Retarded Dinosaur?

                I sat down in the shower thinking about what I had just done. I felt so dirty. I felt like such a pedophile. I didn’t even know how old Tom was. He could be legal though. He was a senior after all. But it still didn’t make it right that I had just jacked off to the thought of my student.

                I turned off the water, quickly dried myself off, and got ready for bed.

                    It had been a few weeks since I started teaching. It was mostly long boring days answering loud kids’ stupid questions. But always, the last period of the day was better than the rest because Tom was there. The first few days after I drove him home were slightly uncomfortable because I knew I was starting to feel something for him, but I quickly put those thoughts in the back of my mind. Though I was fighting a moral battle in my head, I continued to drive Tom home after school because he had no other mode of transportation. It was on one of those drives that something happened that shouldn’t have happened.

                  As we grew nearer to his house, Tom grew more and more nervous.

                “What’s wrong Tom?” I asked, “You seem upset.”

                “Nothing really.” He said quickly, but I knew better.

                “No, something’s up. You know you can tell me anything.”

                “It’s just…” he hesitated before continuing on, “I don’t want to go home…my family really doesn’t care about me and,” he sniffled, “my dad…he’s…” he didn’t continue, he just trailed off and looked down as a tear slid down his cheek.

                I felt so sympathetic for him, “You can come to my house tonight.” I said without thinking.

                Tom’s eyes lit up right away and I mentally cursed myself, “Really?” he asked, looking straight at me.

                “yeah, sure,” I said turning onto a main street that would take us to my house, “I mean-”

                “That’s great, Mark! Thank you!” Tom said really enthusiastically.

                “Alright,” I chuckled awkwardly.

                  Once I parked my car and opened the front door, Tom entered timidly, “it smells like you in here.” He said.

                “Well, I mean, I do live here.” I said smiling softly, “you can sit down if you want. You can also watch TV and are you hungry?”

                He shook his head no and sat down on the couch. I sat beside him as he turned on the TV and began flipping through channels. As usual, there was nothing good on.

                “Mark, how old are you?” Tom inquired suddenly.

                “Twenty-two,” I replied, “Why?”

                “Just wondering. I’m eighteen by the way.”

I stood before the class as the teacher introduced me as Mr. Hoppus, the new student teacher for the rest of the year.

                “Oh, you guys can call me Mark.” I said, looking down timidly. The teacher gave me a disapproving look as he sat down at his desk, “if you have any questions or anything, feel free to ask-” I was cut off by the door opening loudly and a tall, skinny, brown haired boy stumble in.

                He mumbled something about being sorry he was late, and he quickly took his seat. I found myself staring as he sat down. I don’t know what came over me; I was just suddenly interested in this kid. I wanted to know everything about him, without sounding too creepy of course.

                “Alright, since he’s new, why don’t we all introduce ourselves so Mr. Hoppus can get to know you all? Just say your name and…I don’t know…how about you favorite band or artist.” The teacher said.

                I didn’t pay much attention as the students introduced themselves. I was impatiently waiting for the brown haired boy’s turn. When it finally came he stood up clumsily, “Um, shit. I like so many bands,” he began counting on his fingers as he listed them, “well there’s Descendednts, Misfits, Pennywise, Bad Religion, The Cure…um, and I’m liking Nirvana right now and-“

                “just one is fine.”  The teacher interrupted him rudely, too bad because he had great taste in music.

                “oh, and my name is Tom.” The boy sat down quickly and looked down at his desk. Some kids giggled before the students continued to introduce themselves.

                Tom. I was sure to remember his name. His hair fell in front of his eyes and his tongue stuck out slightly as he leaned forward to draw something on the desk. The girl next to him tapped on his shoulder and whispered something in his ear. I was quick to look away when his chocolate brown eyes met mine. He and the girl let out short giggles as my face grew hot, and I’m sure it was very visibly pink.

                As the teacher lectured the class about famous authors and poets, I kept sneaking glances at Tom. More than once was I surprised to find him already looking at me. I felt so weird. He probably thought I was some creeper who came to this school to prey on innocent high school kids.

                Finally the class ended and all the students hurried away to go home. I was relieved.

                That day had gone on slowly. I had been introduced to three classes before this one, and now I was allowed to go home. I walked to the parking lot, searching for my car amongst the sea of vehicles. Once I found it, I unlocked the door and sat inside. As I began to pull out of my parking space, a blur of brown hair, a red shirt and black shorts whizzed across my vision. I turned my head quickly to see Tom stumble on his skateboard and fall flat on his face. I leapt from my car and sped over to where he fell.

                “Hey are you alright?”I asked, holding out a hand to help Tom up.

                “Uh…yeah, I am.” He hesitantly took my hand and I helped him stand. At full height he was a few inches taller than me, I had to look up to make eye contact. And when I did, I was lost for words. His eyes were such a deep brown, I couldn’t think clearly.

                “Uh, good. Good. Um, you should be more careful next time…” I said.

                “Yeah…I will.” Tom gave me a confused look.

                “Well see you tomorrow I guess.” I said looking at my feet.

                “Yeah…” Tom clutched his board against his chest as I walked back to my car. Once I closed the door I sighed. I turned to see Tom rolling away on his skateboard. He turned around once to look at me before disappearing around the corner. I sighed and drove quietly to my apartment.

                Once I got inside I sighed for the hundredth time that day. I flopped onto my couch and turned on the TV. Nothing good was on so I settled for the news. Pretty soon my eyes were drooping and I slipped off to sleep.

                  I woke up to my alarm clock buzzing loudly in the next room. I had fallen asleep on my couch and as a result of that my legs were stiff, nothing a cup of earl grey couldn’t fix. I hurried to my room to turn off the obnoxious buzzing. As I checked the time, I realized my alarm must have been going off for half an hour! I ran to the kitchen, grabbed a mug of cold water and a tea packet, and ran out the door in the same clothes as yesterday.

    Tom’s POV

                    I saw his car sputter into the parking lot. Running on just fumes I guess. As he got out of the car he seemed flustered. He spilled what I assumed to be coffee on himself and I let out a slight chuckle. He looked up and saw me giggling from the front steps. He blushed noticeably, and then smiled back at me. As he began to walk towards me and the entrance, I sped inside.

                While the day passed and I sat through boring lectures on molecular fusion and the cold war, my mind kept finding its way back to my new student teacher. I’d have to ask him why he was so nervous around me.

                My final class finally came and I was actually on time for once. My teacher gave me a funny look as I walked in but I shrugged it off. Mr. Hoppus was sitting at his small desk in the corner looking down at his notes. As I sat down he looked up at me, but quickly averted his eyes to a poster up on the wall behind me. I wondered why he was so finicky, but I came to the conclusion that he was just nervous about teaching today.

                He stood up and began speaking, “for those of you who don’t know, my name’s Mr. Hoppus, but you can just call me Mark,” the teacher gave him a slightly annoyed look, “um, so we’re going to be annotating some of Poe’s work. You can work with a partner, and if you need anything you can always ask me. “ he sat back down and watched as everyone found a partner. Everyone except for me, that is.

                I eagerly looked around hoping someone would make eye contact with me and maybe want to be my partner, but no one did. They all had already found people to work with and I just sat alone.  I looked up at Mr. Hoppus, and was surprised to find him making his way towards me.

                “Hey,” he said as he sat down at the empty desk next to mine, “I can be your partner if you want.”

                “ok sure.” I replied and smiled to myself a bit. I began to write on my page what the lines of the poem meant as the man next to me watched. Soon enough I was done.

                “It looks like you really know what you’re doing.” He let out a chuckle, “you don’t even need me.”

                “I wouldn’t say that,” I countered, “I could have messed something up.”

                “You didn’t, actually,” he took a closer look at my paper; “you got everything right. Some things are even better than what I wrote.” He passed over his paper and I read over it. All the things he wrote were so beautiful and deep. I don’t know what he was thinking, saying my writing was better than his. “Well, sounds like everyone is done,” he commented on how noisy the room had grown, “so talk to you later.” He walked back up to the front of the room.

                The rest of the class went by quickly as I watched Mr. Hoppus talk and answer people’s stupid questions. I was disappointed when the bell rang. Not only because I now had to return to my fucked up family, but also because I couldn’t be in Mr. Hoppus’ presence anymore. I don’t know what it was about him, but I always wanted to be around him. I really wanted to get to know him. Sighing I packed up my bag and left the room.

    Mark’s POV

                    I sighed yet again as I got into my car. Three more days to go until the weekend. It seemed like so long, until a certain brown haired boy whizzed past on his skateboard, reminding me that there was at least one interesting thing about this place. He was about to leave the parking lot when two much larger boys stopped him. He was about half a foot taller than them, but they looked like they were probably on the wrestling team. They pushed him off his board, and one continued to shove Tom around while the other broke his skate board on the telephone pole next to them.

                I jumped out of my car and ran towards the three of them. For a second I forgot that I was a teacher and I shoved the boy away from Tom.

                “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I yelled angrily, I don’t know why I suddenly became so protective of Tom.

                “We’re just messing around. Nothing serious.” The bigger of the two said timidly.

                “Sure, tell that to the principal when you both get suspended.” I replied with too much confidence. It worked though, because the two bullies swiftly walked off as if they were afraid of me.

                Tom looked sadly at his skateboard, now in two pieces, as he picked them up, “this cost me a hundred and fifty dollars.”

                “Do you, uh…you want a ride home?” I asked, afraid he’d be creeped out and say no.

                To my surprise he answered, “Sure, I’ll tell you where to go.”

                After telling me where he lived, we both got into my piece-of-shit car. I turned the key in the ignition and began to drive away.

                “You can put on some music if you’d like. I’ve got a whole bunch of tapes in the dash compartment.” As I finished speaking Tom opened the compartment.

                “Dude, you’ve got Descendents in here? They’re one of my favorite bands!” he excitedly put the tape in the player and Myage began to play.”

                “Yeah me too! You’ve got really great taste in music by the way.” I was so glad to be finally talking about this with him.

                “Yeah, you too.” Tom looked at me and smiled. I returned the smile, and we continued to talk about music. Eventually we reached his house.

                “Hey, thanks for the ride Mr. Hoppus!” Tom said as he opened the door.

                “No problem, but please don’t call me Mr. Hoppus. It makes me feel creepy and old.” I explained.

                “Ok, sorry Mark. See you tomorrow.” He grabbed his bag and shuffled up to his front door while I silently drove away.

                    I opened the door to my apartment and stepped inside. It felt weird living alone. I was so used to living with my mom, but I was happy to be away from my family now.

                I went into the kitchen and prepared myself a bowl of cereal because I barely knew how to cook, then sat back down on the couch. I flipped through the channels on my TV, but again found nothing good so I turned it off.

                As soon as Mark closed the door behind him, I pushed him back up against it and connected our lips. It had been almost a week since we had done anything like this, and I needed it now.

                Mark pulled his lips away from mine, “Tom, I need to tell you something.”

                “Can it wait?” I asked. Before he could answer I pushed my lips to his again and slipped my tongue past his teeth and into him mouth. He finally gave in. he took my hips and pushed me back against my bed so he was on top of me. I began slowly rubbing his crotch through his shorts and his breathing increased. I nibbled all along his jaw line and made my way down to where I knew a sensitive spot on his neck was. Mark gasped and pulled me closer. He breathed my name before pulling back and undoing my belt. His hands went everywhere from there. He rubbed my hardened member while I took off my shirt and began trying to pull the soft fabric from his skin.

                “Mmmm, Mark.” I moaned into his chest.

                “No, Tom. I came here to tell you something, and you always find a way to get me distracted.” He stopped what he was doing and handed me my shirt. I gave him a disappointed look and I could tell he felt kinda’ bad. He sat on the edge of my bed, “Well, um…I got accepted to California State, and well…I’m gonna go.” Mark looked up at me, waiting for my reaction.

                “That’s great, Mark! Cal State’s in…”

                “San Marcos…” Mark finished my sentence for me.

                “Oh,” I felt my heart sinking in my chest, “Well that’s not too far away…”

                “Yeah…it’s gonna be hard I guess. But it’s only four years, and I get breaks and stuff so-“

                “FOUR YEARS! Mark, I’ll be twenty-two by then!” I cut him off, jumping up from the bed, “you know I can’t go that long without seeing you and what about the band? Huh? Did you think about how that’s gonna work out?” I slumped down to my floor and put my head in my hands.

                I felt Mark’s arms sneak around my waist to pull me into a kneeling position. We kneeled there for a long time just embracing each other. Eventually Mark spoke softly into my ear, “I’ll write you once a week. I promise.”

                “You promise not to forget me?” I asked looking in to his deep blue eyes.

                “I could never forget you, Tom.” Mark said before pressing his warm lips to mine.

                “When do you have to leave?” I asked, pressing my face against his neck.

                “Um…well, it’s tomorrow actually. They need me to be there so they can give me my dorm.”

                “What!?” I snapped my head back to look him in the face, “You have to leave tomorrow, and you tell me now?” I wriggled out from under his arms and sat back a few feet away from him. Anger was boiling up inside me.

                “Well I wanted to tell you sooner but-“

                “But what Mark!? You had plenty of time to tell me, I’m sure you’ve known for a while!”

                “Well yeah, but I didn’t know how to…” He looked down towards the floor, “I’m sorry.”

                I crept back over to him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, “It’s ok I guess. I just wish you’d told me sooner, I would have spent more time with you.” I pressed my lips against the corner of his mouth, and he turned his head to kiss me fully on the lips.

* * * * *

That night we cuddled and watched stupid movies until we fell asleep in each other’s arms. I woke up the next morning to Mark trying to pry my arms from around his waist.

  “What time is it?” I asked sleepily.

“It’s ten thirty, I have to go.” He answered.

I frowned slightly, “Oh, do you want me to make you breakfast?”

“I don’t have time.” He gave me a sad look.

“Oh, ok.” I said sitting up beside him.

He walked to the door while I followed. He opened the door and turned to face me, “Hey, I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” Mark leaned in to give me a very long, love filled, kiss. Once his warm lips left mine, he turned around, and with that, he was gone.