Caspian

Karen knew it was wrong, she really did. It was wrong on so many levels. Between the infidelity and the taboo of it all, her mind clawed at her heart every waking moment. But they say the heart wants what it wants, and who is she to deny herself the one bit of enjoyment she's had since the early days of her marriage. If her husband wasn't going to satisfy her in any sort of way and her children were never around, why should she keep living out this miserable, suburban mom life. She was so much more than that. She had so much potential back in high school, she'd almost been accepted into Stanford University. She thought that very impressive given it was 1959 and most people had doubts that she would even graduate, let alone continue on to college. But alas, she had given it all up for a boy, an exciting boy, but that was then. And Ted turned out to be the most boring man she had ever had the misfortune of being around. She lived her years like that, bored. She had always wanted so much more, and yet it felt she would never get it.. Until she showed up. Y/N Y/L/N. With her glossy hair that always seemed to fall just right, that charming voice that always managed to get her whatever she wanted, and that sweet, innocent, perfect smile that did so much to excite Karen despite the younger girl being oh so oblivious to it.

Everything had happened so fast. What started as a few flirty comments here and there quickly turned into secret bathroom make-outs and then to so much more. Y/N used to bag her shopping, and now she was practically an addition to the Wheeler residence. No one but Karen knew, of course, but that didn't make it feel any less real. It felt more real than anything Karen ever had with Ted. That was why the two women found themselves in their current position. Y/N laid there, beautiful as ever in Karen's eyes. Her gaze was where it usually was, her lover's breasts. But she loved the attention no matter what form it came in, and so Karen sat there, a thigh on either side of the girl beneath her. Their little rendezvous usually started like this, soft kisses anywhere their lips could find, gentle touches so light you'd think either would blow away with the next gust of wind. Karen's hands found their way up Y/N's arms, moving to tangle in her hair as their bodies pressed closer together. Both women giggled quietly as their noses bumped, not a rare occurrence. Things were easy when it was just them.

As they peppered kisses over each other's bodies, Karen could feel the girl's hips buck up, practically calling her name. She could never deny her pretty dove anything, even when she knew realistically they probably didn't have the time. Her eyes glanced over at the clock resting on the bedside table and made her decision.

"Okay, baby, quickly.." Karen's voice came out tender, practically dripping with honey. She always spoke to Y/N with that sweet tone, always treated her with nothing but gentleness. In a matter of seconds she flipped them, helping Y/N out of the skirt she had so kindly splashed out on buying a week ago. She guided her girl's thighs up to rest either side of her head, not giving her a chance to lower down before diving in. Y/N let out a sharp inhale as Karen's tongue firmly pressed against her glistening folds.

"Fuck- Karen.." Y/N whined softly between the breathy moans she was letting out. She could feel her legs tense around Karen's head as pleasure shot through her body. It wasn't often she was on the receiving end of Karen's tongue. She much preferred using her fingers, claimed it was so she could see what she did to Y/N.

"Slo-slow down.." She never usually moved so fast. Karen had always liked to take her time, let herself take full advantage of what little time they had together, but right now all she wanted to do was make Y/N feel how much she appreciated her. Her tongue swiped up, making quick circles around the girl's already puffy clit, eliciting a soft whimper from above her. The contact was almost too much and Y/N could barely take it. She lifted herself up slightly, trying to escape the rush of overstimulating pleasure. But that was hardly acceptable, so Karen's hands reached up and wrapped around her pretty dove's thighs, pulling her impossibly close.

"Stay still for mommy, baby. Don't you wanna be a good girl for me..?" Karen mumbled against Y/N's clit, the vibrations causing the girl to cry her out, head falling back as she could feel her mind start going fuzzy. Despite Karen's usual softness, there was a certain commanding energy her words held. Neither could quite place where it came from, but it always made Y/N compliant, and that was enough for Karen. She could feel a building ache in her jaw as she darted her tongue across Y/N's clit, focused on her cries and jerks of pleasure. Her rushed breaths against the girl's throbbing sweet spot sent tingles through her body as Karen's fingers dug into her thighs.

As the never-ending waves of pleasure threatened to push Y/N over the edge, she raised her hand to her mouth to muffle the moans and whines escaping her. As her other hand finally stopped gripping the bedsheets beneath her, she used what little coordination she had left in her body to place it firmly on the top of Karen's head, grasping at her hair as she attempted to pull her ever closer. Y/N's mind was blank, it was a wonder she wasn't a babbling mess right now. All she could feel was Karen's tongue lapping desperately at her cunt, all she could think about was how fucking good it felt. Her hand clasped tighter over her mouth as wanton moans filled the room. That oh so familiar coil started forming inside her, her thighs tensing and practically suffocating Karen, but no complaints were heard. With little warning, Y/N felt a wave of pleasure rip through her.

"Karen-!" She squealed out, losing all control of her body as she jolted her hips against Karen's lips. She uncovered her mouth, letting Karen hear her cry out in pleasure with perfect clarity. Her hand reached out in desperation for something to steady herself against, and connected with the headboard, gripping it shakily. As Y/N's orgasm traveled through her like a shockwave, Karen's tongue continued to toy with her clit, not relenting even as the younger girl came down from her orgasm. She didn't stop until she felt a familiar tap on her head, begging for release.

In a matter of moments, Karen had pulled Y/N off her face and onto the bed beside her. They wrapped their arms round each other, catching their breath as they embraced. In truth, Karen had missed these smaller moments. The sex was great, but just holding each other was perfect, breathing in each other's air, taking in the peace. With Ted she was always bored, but here, she was simply content. It didn't matter if they were on one of their secret dates, or if they were in the privacy of the Wheeler house, or stealing kisses just out of sight from other people. All of it was perfect as long as they were together. If it was up to Karen, they would've stayed like this forever, but unfortunately they didn't have that sort of time. In fact, as she checked the clock, Karen realized that half three was quickly approaching. The kids will be home from school soon.

"You should start heading home soon, sweetie.." Karen muttered quietly, almost inaudible. She hated to ruin the mood, but she couldn't risk anyone finding out, certainly not her kids. Y/N peered upwards at her, visibly disappointed. She'd always hated having to leave, or rather she hated being kicked out. Nothing else hit quite like a punch to the gut as having to be kept so secret, not being able to go on dates or hang out with her kids, or just spend time together outside of the privacy of a bed. And god knows if her husband ever found out then Karen would be attending Y/N's funeral. Ted may not have cared much, but he wouldn't be able to handle such a blow to his ego. His wife cheating on him with another woman? That's just too embarrassing for a man of his status.

"Do I really have to go now..? Can't I stick around and just say I was… Cleaning your pool or something..?" Y/N practically begged her as their embrace started to loosen. When she looked up to find Karen's gaze, Y/N could see the guilt rising in her eyes. There was always this silent guilt, a judgment Karen could never bring herself to admit, at least not out loud. Of course she held great affections for Y/N, but she struggled to be vocal about it. She knows how much she's cared for, Karen shouldn't have to sit there and tell her, right?

"You really should go.. the kids aren't stupid, we've had the same pool boy for years.. Besides, I don't-" Karen hesitated for moment. She knows she shouldn't voice it, but she's started now. Y/N would push to know what she wanted to say and she could never lie to her precious dove.

"I don't think you should meet the kids.. not yet, at least. Nancy's only a couple years younger than you, she'd probably remember you from school. And the other two are still young, they might mention you to Ted and I just can't risk screwing up my life.." Karen continued. She let out heavy sigh, like this was a weight she'd been carrying for while. But then she turned to Y/N. There was nothing but hurt and anger in her eyes.

"And you think I can? I'm risking shit as well, Karen." Y/N's words carried an unusual amount of malice, but they both knew it was a cover. She wasn't a very emotional girl, the anger was a deflection. She had cried once before in front of Karen and it hadn't lasted very long, it most likely wouldn't happen again anytime soon. By now, their arms were barely touching, giving Y/N the space to sit up.

"I didn't say that, I just- I think if we're being real I have more to lose. My kids, my house, my husband-" Karen started saying, trying to reason with the now noticeably pained girl in front of her. Before she could continue, however, her words were cut off.

"And I'd lose my family, my home, my job, everything. We both have things to lose!" Y/N hissed, her voice just above a whisper. Despite her anger, she couldn't risk neighbors overhearing them, that would just fast forward everything they were both worrying about. She moved to stand, looking around to grab her clothes. As she started pulling the shirt over her head, Karen spoke up.

"I wasn't saying you lose nothing, just less than I would.. Maybe we should have this conversation another day, I can't let the kid see you. I don't want them finding out about you- or, god forbid, think this is serious!" The moment Karen said it aloud, she knew it was too far. This was serious, even if she could never admit it. It was serious for both of them. Her eyes widened as she looked up to Y/N, the girl already staring back. It was easy to see the way her jaw was tense, eyes starting to water, the clenched fists. It broke Karen's heart. Why did she have to say that? Sure, she'd never been great at being vulnerable, or talking about her feelings, but outright denying having those feelings at all was a new low. She climbed off the bed, taking a step with outstretched arms towards Y/N.

"Honey, I didn't mean- You know how I feel about you- don't you?" Karen let out a broken plead, clawing at straws to try and save this. She couldn't lose the one thing, the one person who made her happy. Y/N stepped back, her hand coming to wipe away any evidence of the tears slowly starting to roll down her cheek. They stayed there for a moment, staring at each other, both hurting, both desperate to be held but too stubborn to be the one to make the next move. Y/N reached down to grab her underwear and skirt, pulling them up even though the thought of wearing one of Karen's gifts now filled her with burning rage.

"You were right, I should get going. Wouldn't want anyone thinking this actually meant something, would we?" Y/N snapped, hands coming up to tuck some lose hair behind her ears. Karen reached over to grab her arm, but as her fingers grasped at the girl's sleeve, she shook her off and looked at her with a scowl. Her eyes stared daggers through Karen as her hand retreated, softening her stance a little. The bedroom door swung open as Y/N stormed out of the room, making her way across the hallway and down the stairs. Karen followed a moment later, eyes full of unfamiliar worry.

"Y/N come on, are you seriously gonna storm off? Just listen to me for a second-" Karen sounded more like she begging than asking, finally catching up to Y/N as she started pulling her shoes on. Karen's hands found her tear-stained cheeks, and pulled her up to share a look. Both could see the hurt and fear in the other, and it was soul crushing. Y/N wore a slight pout and her eyes looked glassy, almost like she wasn't even there. It wasn't hard to see why, Karen knew she'd gone a step too far. She had never felt this scared before. The thought of losing the love of her life because she was too afraid to admit how much she actually cared was almost too much.

"I don't want to listen anymore. Anything you have to say now, it's too late. I thought we were more. I thought I meant more to you.. I thought you were serious about this too." Y/N's voice was no longer angry, no longer a sharp knife aimed straight at Karen's heart. No, now there was nothing but embarrassment, heartache, and, worst of all, betrayal. She felt betrayed by the woman she'd grown to feel nothing but love for. The woman she had put everything on the line for, the woman she imagined spending the rest of her life with, even if in secret. The woman she gave everything too had just sat in front of her and admitted just how little she truly cared. How could Y/N just run back into her arms? She couldn't… That wasn't what she deserved.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two now. One filled with unspoken feelings and broken promises. Neither of them could muster up the courage to say anything else. Karen tilted her head slightly, eyes pleading, desperate for Y/N not to leave like this. But it was too late, and she knew it. Y/N pulled her coat off the rack and walked out the door, slamming it behind her. Karen's hand reached out to rest on the door as tears finally started to pool in her eyes. She knew how bad she'd messed up, and now she had to suffer the consequences.

Karen made her way back upstairs to make sure there was no trace of her lover by the time everyone got home. However, the moment she had closed her bedroom door, she collapsed against it, sliding down until she hit the floor. Her mind began racing with all the ways she could try to fix everything. What was she meant to do without the radiant light that Y/N cast in her otherwise dim life? She raced to the window and stared out to the road, watching as the girl she yearned to hold close grew ever distant. She knew that if this was how things ended she'd spend the rest of her life longing for even a taste of their connection again. She couldn't let it end like this, but as thoughts swirled around her mind the only thing able to stick was the guilt.