»Well... Un-shelter me then«

Game changer last night was unhinged and incredible, but since it wasn't the same 12 people it usually is, the fandom is crickets. Gianmarco Soresi is one of the funniest people on earth, Josh Johnson is the daily show's biggest name besides Jon Stewart. We really gotta get you people out of your bubbles

Well now that it's summer who wants to fall in love

Just checked hinge and remembered romance is dead does anybody want to meet for the first time on a road trip and kinda hate each other and then meet years later briefly on a plane only to go separate ways then cross paths in a bookstore become close friends for years eventually let the sex part get in the way have a dramatic falling out because the sex part got in the way makeup because actually love is based in friendship and then get married

Dude, I only fucked your boyfriend cause I’m an empath. I wanted to understand you… forgive me for being a good fucking friend I guess.

stop tagging pictures of cute black dogs as sirius black i dont give a shit about that guy fuck you

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

what was yesterday, cat?

I’m not missing it this year.

turning the knife inside yourself tonight queen?

the thing about superbat is that it will never be clois.

“Hear me out” and it’s the most conventionally attractive alien father figure you’ve ever seen

do me a favor and reblog this and put in the tags what time it is for you and what you're currently doing/thinking about

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

My body is already an inhospitable environment, there’s no way a friggin baby would be able to survive in it

Also babies can’t even fight, how would they fare in battle against my inner demons?

sand tiger sharks

on it, boss lady