I came, I saw, I got anxious

Kleya, living rent free in my mind:

He still has the bloody suit on, the extortionate, uncomfortable suit that now has fag ash on one sleeve and the smell of sweat clinging to it. He's a pitiful sight, or one worthy of contempt. No one will approach him, John assumes they think he's been to a funeral.

A funeral for the longest relationship he's ever had, maybe.

He owes apologies, countless apologies and money to the missus, now ex, and her family. Is it kinder to run from the institution of marriage and spare them both the ache of an unfulfilling life together, or stomach it and pretend he loves her as any more than a friend? He's unsure, but a coward he is, and he took the easy road.

There's a word for his type, one he cannot voice nor stomach, but it is not the type of man who marries a woman for passion. It's not a man who marries a woman at all.

Getting drunk is a perfect way to pair the oncoming headache of his actions with a literal headache and the taste of stomach acid lingering in his mouth. He may seek atonement, tear himself limb from limb as penance for what he has done, but absolution does not await him. As cruel as it may be, destroying someone in hopes that it will stop the cancerous yearning in his mind from spreading is pusillanimous, and so he will spend his life guilty for offering her hope.

From the corner of his eye, he knows who sat on the bar stool next to him. he couldn't possibly mistake it for anyone else; he knows every little detail of that body by heart and loathes himself for it. Besides, there's only one person who could hunt him down with such accuracy.

"You ran."

There's no accusation in Nikolai's words, a cautious lack of judgement that he doesn't deserve. Unlike most, Nikolai won't attempt to squeeze the answer out of him because he knows the following silence will be all the tempting John needs to spill his guts. Bastard.

"Drink?"

@dailyprojecthailmary – Eva Stratt Week

Was just going to go for a 4k at ~easy pace, but I was having fun so I decided to push a little on the last kilometre, this was a bit silly and nonsensical but I had so much fun!!!!!

just a blanket reminder!!!!💓

Was just going to go for a 4k at ~easy pace, but I was having fun so I decided to push a little on the last kilometre, this was a bit silly and nonsensical but I had so much fun!!!!!