if you see kay

—Well, you know what buddy? People yelp, I fucking yelp, especially when I’m about to fall down the stairs. So, eat my shit, I’m a yelper.

"I made a statement. Didn't have to get all fuck you defensive, Stace."

And here I was hoping no one saw that…

"With a yelp that loud, I don't know if it would've gone unnoticed."

I suppose so. But what about you? Any kids?

Kids? No. Just a brother who I feel is one.

Then what would be the fucking point of being a speed demon? I’d loose my rep.

-- And your car.

It’s just hard not to smile at my girl. The thought of her being a psycho is just hilarious.

I guess that's what keeps parenting fun, no?

—Possibly? I mean, they don’t call me speed demon for nothin’. But all jokes aside, I think I’m a pretty fantastic driver. Just, bad things happen to good people is all.

If my advice serves as any light in a dark tunnel, perhaps you should keep the speed demon at bay by recklessly driving in moderation.

First off, let’s stop with the whole Miss thing. Like, I get it, you have manners— but it makes me feel about ten years older than I actually am. It’s Stacy, okay? Second, my bumper came off. I was— “driving recklessly”, as a coworker of mine so nicely puts it.

Alright, Stacy. Well, were you "driving recklessly?"

Alright, I was— “In the way”. We’ll just go with that.

I'll just let you think whatever you want to think, miss. What're you even in for? Failed engine? Coolant leak?

Work… I’ve got work, that’s why.

Ah, well I shouldn't take more of your time, if that's the case. Here's your wallet.

Let me think about that… yeah, no.

I'm sorry to kick you off your pedestal, but I wasn't looking at you for that reason. It was more about you being in the way of the monitor I'm supposed to be viewing .

Do you think I’d actually have to buy a house to be on House Hunters?

That's the point of the show, isn't it?

To the person who sat next to me today: I’m terribly sorry, but please don’t sit next to me on public transport if you’re going to suck on a pencil and talk obnoxiously loud on the phone the entire time. If you wanted to see the complete opposite of classy and considerate, that would be it.

I apologize...? Despite not being that person.

Don't you think your assumptions are a bit far-fetched, miss?

She pulled a knife on me.

If you hadn't that smile on your face, I would've been worried about this entire conversation.

My bad. Either you’re not a fan of donuts or you just have.. a certain look on your face at all times..

Must be the look on my face. I can't say I'm a stranger to that comment.

Oh, okay. You’re excused.

You dropped your wallet, by the way. Don't know why you were in such a rush.