wwhat.

i give the fuck up.

im not putting up with this anymore.

im sick and tired of being fucked over constantly. my emotions are a wreck, im exhausted both mentally and physically. shit i lost count to how many times ive cried this fucking week. Im fucking scared for my boyfriend.... i cant get in contact with anyone else. hell one of my closest friends is leaving the sate this friday and that doesnt make anything better... i have my grandfather in the hospital about to die anyday now. i have a  father who treats me like shit, but buys my affection, and then right after treats me like complete shit again. I cant get a fucking job to save my life. I dont have money, everyones going through shit times right now an well i cant be there for them because hell... no one answers me anymore...

I cant live like this anymore... i seriously cant... 

this whole fucking week makes me wan to just down a whole bottle of pills or slice myself up. im not gonna do it but i can dream cant i.