I'm gonna be

Amanda followed close behind Miles– not wanting to fall behind and hold him back, and also because she wanted to stay close to him and listen while he spoke. “It’s not silly,” she replied as she stared down at the ground, trying her best not to trip or make a fool of herself. As they came to a stop, she took a deep breath, looking up around them, taking in the sight of nature around them. It was breath-taking. And quiet. So quiet and peaceful. She understood why it was his favorite place. As he spoke again, she brought her gaze back to him, raising her brow. She’d never expected him to reveal such private information– she was speechless for a long moment, not sure what to say to him. She wasn’t sure how long ago it had happened, but it obviously still hurt him. “I’m so sorry… That’s…. I can’t even imagine how hard that was.” And he had a daughter. She was shocked by the information, still unsure of how to approach the subject. Again she was quiet, before stepping towards him, resting a hand on his arm. “So you have a daughter.” She gave him an encouraging smile. “How old is she? What’s her name?” 

“Ten. You actually know her. She’s Zoey.” He finally blurted out. It felt good to actually say that out loud. He hated keeping secrets especially things like that. “When everything happened... Mom and Dad said we’d keep her here and raise her but with something that big, the media would’ve just eaten it up and called her a bastard child. Mostly it was to keep the media off my back and from hurting her. Mom and Dad didn’t really care about scandals. So they came up with the story of her being our cousin and she believes she’s our cousin as well. I’ve never heard her call me dad or been able to really be a father to her. I’ve been as good as I could be without raising any real suspicion, but..” he sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I’d give up all of this if I could just do it all over and never have lied to her. Now I don’t even know how to tell her the truth. She’d probably hate me. I think she spends too much time with Sarah sometimes. She can be a bit dramatic and she’s not even a teen yet.” He sat down on a large boulder off the path and turned so he was facing Amanda. “I just told you this because I wanted you to know everything about me. My skeletons and secrets. I’m definitely not some prince charming on a white horse. Just a regular prince with an Aston Martin,” he joked, giving her half a grin.

Amanda, caught off guard by the sudden speed in which the car took off, immediately grasped the car handle to feel more secure, but after a moment, her hand fell back onto her lap, feeling safer than she’d ever felt with just about anyone– plus, Miles seemed to slow down a bit. She was curious to know where they were going, especially as he began talking about it. She was honored he was taking her to somewhere so special. It was a bit nerve-wracking too; she didn’t want to somehow taint his love for a place he obviously held very dear to his heart. But she pushed past the insecurities in her head, smiling gently. “I’m honored you want to take me there.” And of course I’ll love it, she wanted to say, but she stopped before the words could slip from her mouth. She sighed in frustration with herself, looking out the window and staying quiet for the rest of the ride. She was relieved when the car finally came to a stop, but only felt more nervous as he came around and helped her out of the car, stepping carefully in the gravel. She was glad she’d slipped on a pair of boots to combat against the cold weather– plus, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to walk around in the woods in a pair of high heels. “I don’t mind a walk. I did enjoy the car ride– but I could use the fresh air,” she replied, stepping further away from the car, the gravel and fallen leaves beneath her boots crunching– a sound she found extremely satisfying. “Lead the way, your Majesty.”

Miles groaned as she called him ‘majesty’ even though he didn’t hate what he was or who he was, he sometimes would get very annoyed by being called that instead of his name. He let it roll off his back and began leading the way, staying only one step ahead of her. “I came out here a lot over the years; it was nice to just get away from the craziness. And not even my siblings know this place exists, if you can believe that. I’d come back home and they’d ask me where I was, to which I would reply with ‘the woods’ and they would just laugh. I suppose it would be rather silly of an idea, but I enjoy the peace and quiet.” He fell silent, looking around at the trees, embracing the silence. “I did show one other person, Ava.” He still sometimes found it hard to talk about her, but he knew he needed to. “Ava was the only girl I ever really cared about. I was in love with her. I wanted to marry her. Especially after I found out we were going to have a baby, but unfortunately, it never worked out.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, letting his head drop to stare at the ground. “She passed away right after having our daughter.”

Amanda had been spending a little too much time alone; if she wasn’t in her bedroom, she was on the grounds, taking long walks in the garden, and even into the forest behind the castle. It was nice to get away from the cheeriness of the place, as Christmas approached and decorations were set up in preparation for the holiday. She usually loved Christmas, but her heart wasn’t in it this year. She was still shaken up after the kidnapping ordeal she, Sarah and Zoey had been through, and even though she hadn’t been physically hurt, part of her felt broken, like she’d lost her innocence. The world had changed in those couple of weeks she’d spent in that dark room, and she didn’t think she’d ever be able to look at it the same way again. 

She’d been hesitant when Miles invited her out– she’d politely refused at first, but he’d managed to convince her, though it wasn’t hard once she found out he was going to be taking her out of the castle. She hadn’t been out in forever, it felt like, and decided maybe it was what she needed in order to lift her spirits back up. She was nervous about being around Miles, since they had kissed when he’d come for them, but hadn’t spoken much since. He kept his distance, and though she liked his company, she was grateful that he hadn’t pushed his presence upon her in the last few weeks. She was sure she would’ve said something or done something she regretted, and even though she wasn’t sure where they stood after that kiss, didn’t want to lose him as a friend. 

As she approached Miles, she kept her eyes down, only looking up when he spoke to her, curtsying before him as was customary to do in front of a royal– even if he insisted on being informal, but after so much time without talking, she didn’t feel right just saying hello. “Thank you. You look very handsome,” she murmured softly, eyes looking him over with fondness. “Where are we going, I don’t think you mentioned it.” She moved past him, climbing into the passenger seat as he held the door open for her. 

Miles shook his head at her curtsy. He hated that from anyone, but tolerated it from people he didn’t know well. It felt so weird seeing her doing it. Made him feel as though they really weren’t equals, at least in her eyes. He actually saw her as a much better person, but didn’t want to go down that road just yet. He half smiled, feeling a bit of his confidence--or maybe it was just hopefulness--disappear. He shut the door once she was in and slid in the driver’s seat. “I didn’t say.” Without another word, he hit the gas and left the castle behind them in a cloud of dust. 

Once away from the castle, he slowed down a bit, though he was still going faster than the speed limit. The road was deserted and wrapped around a mountain. He glanced over at her once, but kept his eyes on the road the rest of the time. He maybe a speed demon, but he didn’t have a death wish. “I hope you enjoy it. It’s somewhere very special to me. The place I go when I need to do some thinking.” 

When his car finally came to a stop, he hopped out and opened the door for her, offering her his hand. It was a little gravel parking lot around a lot of open fields with woods off to the side. “We need to walk the rest of the way.” He gestured to the woods. “My baby gets me a lot of places, but she can’t handle the woods.” He looked over at her. “It’s not terribly far. About a mile.” 

Miles, you’re such a silly goose. I have known Santa wasn’t real for a while now. It was always Uncle James in the costume. And well… 

What are you going to do say when you see him tonight and you’ve said he isn’t real? Guess you won’t be getting a present from him. So don’t be upset when we all have a present from Santa tomorrow morning and you don’t.

And Sarah made this place look like the North Pole! If Santa was real, he would totally confuse this place and fall asleep here. 

IF Santa was real? I happen to know for a FACT that he is. I’ve seen him with my own two eyes.

Good. 

Thank god, but that hardly stopped Ian and Phoebe. –You haven’t told her about Zoey? That’s kinda important to let someone know before you start dating. A secret child is a big deal. –So I’ve heard. She doing okay?

I kissed her, but that’s all that has happened. I mean, I stayed with her when she was in the hospital, but I would’ve done that anyway. So I’m not rushing anything before she knows. --I’m not sure. She seems to fake smiles a lot. I don’t know what to do, so I’ve given her space. I don’t want to make things worse for her. It might sound creepy, but I keep an eye on her from a distance. 

Shush. You’re lucky I even agreed with you. 

Wow. You’re not going to elope or anything soon, are you? Because I need at least some warning. Give me at least a week’s warning. –On a more serious note, though– wow. Does she know about Abby?

Okay, okay, I’ll just silently gloat.