drenched in melanin magic

….the rest is drag/biting the hand that feeds you

i’ve made this Ru Paul quote a mantra in my life because it is so true. i work in retail. i work in retail in an upper rank mall that has been the epicenter of rap music, high class in the city, and a glamorous lifestyle.  as a person who works there though? it. is. simply. drag. i was blessed with getting the weekend off, but it still sort of ended up not being the blessing it was disguised to…

Black Girl Magic: Proof vs. Positivity

  *this is not my art, just an image i found beautiful and fitting for this post. found on the etsy page of TheCreativeMisfit    when the #blackgirlmagic movement hit the scene, i was excited.  it felt fresh and revolutionary.  it felt freeing and personal. it felt like the perfect phrase defining who i’ve always been for the close to 40 years i’ve been living on this planet.  that is only part…

presently, i am mere pages away from the end of this book and my mind is still boggled by all of it.  the anti-establishment mentality vs. the anti-gay mentality vs. the ignored mental instability of certain individuals mentality….the assumptions of certain lifestyles…this is why so much went wrong.  this is why Mr. Versace’s life was cut short.  not to fly too far from my point, hell, this is…

True Crime, Fashion, and the Gay Community

    i am presently reading Maureen Orth’s Vulgar Favors about serial killer Andrew Cunanan and the murder of Gianni Versaci.  i am also in the process of watching American Crime Story which this season is based on the book.  the series does an okay job of telling the story, but the book has put me through every. single.emotion.  i mean, cunanan’s parents made him the psychopath he ended up being…

oh my damn wish.com! wish is where i go to dream of what would go in my “girl” house.  my “girl” house is where i would live if i weren’t married and i lived on my own with nothing but my art, books and a cat.  this is not to say that i don’t love what i have, but a crystal beaded curtain dividing the rooms wouldn’t work where we live right now, but it would if i lived here by myself.  i did,…

1990 marked the year i started wearing glasses and according to my dad, it was inevitable.  my mother started wearing glasses at a young age so did my sister. it was bound to happen.  back in the day when i got my glasses, they weren’t the thing to have…it sucked!  a couple of decades have passed and now even people who don’t wear glasses want to wear glasses for fashion sake. my lack of vision…

initially i’d only heard the name Diane von Furstenberg and i knew that she was high fashion and i would never be able to afford any of her garments.  then i met my at work bestie and we decided (for a short while) to go on these excursions and experience fashion for ourselves.  no, we couldn’t afford any of the garments (i think the one i’m pictured in was like…$1200.oo!), but that didn’t mean…

Spelunking through the Ghetto

so yesterday was my birthday and in honor of my special day, my husband and i went on a (his words, and magical they are!) Thriftiquing/Urban Spelunking Excursion.  I especially loved the word Spelunking because it’s such a hipster term that makes my eye twitch a bit, but not when it’s urban.  not when it’s in the inner city where no one looks.  not when it ends with such awesome buys! when we…

the psychology of fashion

  i was reprimanded once again for my appearance at work.  i didn’t look bad, i just didn’t look….let’s say…”professional.” i was wearing a pair of pants i designed myself and a grey shirt.  my boss comes to me and says that the shirt is nice.  the pants are nice. the shoes are fine, but not all together.  my pants are, by company standards “too baggy” (they flare a little on the bottom) for the…

images of color in fashion

my last post got me all riled up and now my mind is full of thoughts on non-european images in fashion. we live in a very sensitive time, but my truth is that brown skin excites me. i will not deny it.  i remember being so amazed by Naomi Campbell and Beverly Johnson as a kid, i was speechless.  this is not to say this is all i want to see in fashion, and who am i but a lone blogger giving her…

I WOKE UP LIKE THIS….

i woke up this morning feeling alllllllllllllllll the black girl magic.  the first thing i did was start scrolling through  my ig when i woke up and the first images i saw were of Ava Duvernay, Erykah Badu, Michaela De Prince, Viola Davis, Naomi Campbell, and Debbie Allen… yesterday was full of anguish and insecurity stemming from something that happened the day before (don’t worry, it’s resolved…

My Vision/Views on Beauty/Collections to come

the past few days have been spent considering new forms of employment and what won’t work as far as new employment goes.  i most definitely will not be doing retail anymore.  i have a vision.  as a matter of fact, i have many.  i look at ad campaigns and see where they are coming up short.  i have so many opinions and ideas for the present company i work for.  would they just steal my ideas and…

readers, you’ve read my stuff so you know all my feels for fashion and what an image junkie i am….but i was just doing what us pisces tend to do which is fall into the dark abyss that is our mind and all the million thoughts that roam it all at once. while watching two shows at once and scrolling through fb, i somehow ended up on LinkedIn and started looking for jobs, but this time didn’t get discouraged or angry. no, no, i just had a light bulb moment! maybe i’m not meant to work for anyone in particular as far as fashion goes, i need to go on the other end of this.  the psychologicaland/or sociological end of it.  i love fashion for all that it is, though i disagree with most of it.  i get a gasp out loud fashion moment daily.  i love to design, but there is a reason behind everything i design…yeah, that’s the end of things i need to be on.  i am not your girl if you need me to sell your idea of fashion, but i can do something with figuring out how to sell your idea if i knew your market.  i can come up with design ideas for the same reason.  if there is a way to get paid doing that i. want. that. position.  then i can go home and continue with whatever else is going on in this glitterdome of mine (just started calling my mind that this morning!).

for some people it’s easy to jump on the bandwagon and ride on out doing the expected.  i got to high school and didn’t want to do that anymore.  i was constantly told that this is not the way life works, but i beg to differ.  i still beg to differ.  i have ways of viewing things and i am constantly seeking out ways to show the masses.  it’s like when i did my fashion show last year.  i was told that i’m not that great at sewing so i was not allowed to paint fabrics for my final collection at school.

The show that proved that I could…

The show that proved that I could…

The show that proved that I could…

i did a whole damn collection of my own where not only did i paint the garments, i hand dyed them with natural ingredients.  the teacher also frowned at me designing on a sz.10 dress form.  as you can see in the photos, none of these models are under a sz. 10, and it’s beautiful! every moment, even the stressful ones, were magic.  this is the type of work i need to do.  i am itching to be creative on the daily for a living.  it sucks kissing ass for the ungrateful masses of retail.  with retail, the higher up, the better, and even that depends.  i was offered an opportunity to be groomed for retail management only a few months into the present job i have and even surprised myself in how quickly i turned it down, but my mind knows.  my body knows.  my insides were ready to curl up in fetal position at the mention of it.  instinct is everything.  my instinct told me to run from this.  my frikkin horoscope did the same, not once, not twice, but several times, is still doing so.  thing is this time, i am doing it with the best of laid out plans.

Brand loyalty/Is that the thing for me?

so i’ve been watching “The House of DVF” and Diane von Furstenberg made a statement to her peers about how some people aren’t built to sell other people’s brands.  I think that’s the case for me.  I don’t follow one specific brand.  I like certain aspects of different brands and their designs, but i am most definitely not loyal.  it’s not intentional, it’s just that i’ve never really had money…

Aaaaaannnnnd the ball is rolling!

so i got one measurement session in yesterday and that went winningly.  of course, all the everything that i went through last year in planning a collection has also started happening as well: last night i was too wired to sleep, i was fighting thoughts on other places to seek out employment, i spent a little bit of time questioning this goal that i am teetering on no money to.  it wasn’t a good…

Falling more into my…Unicorn…ness

I am presently watching House of DVF and thinking about my future as a designer.  As you remember from my last post I discussed the magic that comes with being 99% Unicorn.  I love being the Unicorn that I am. I love that you won’t be able to blend me in to any specific crowd.  What I don’t love is the awkward but sometimes sad side eyes that I get when  I try to explain my ideas on things, my…

yesterday, i told my boss after a small discussion about some things going on in our workplace that i don’t like retail, i just can do retail.  it is something that i can do.  she was all amped up and agreeing with me…i wonder if she’s gonna second guess that comment later on?  it is my truth though.  i frikkin HATE working in retail because there is no support system there.  there are all these efforts to either suppress or steal creative ideas.  the pay does get better sometimes, but not by much.  it’s a trap.  there are people who love it and i am not one of those people.  the problem is i’ve been a retail worker for so long, i don’t know how to get out of it and i really need to. no, let me rephrase that: it’s not that i don’t know how to get out of retail, i just haven’t found the right path out because believe me, i am always seeking one out.  this? what i’m doing right now? this is what i love!  i love putting my ideas into words and letting the masses know.  i love sitting down to sketch.  i love creating.  i don’t quite love making patterns as much as the rest, but i love the end result when it’s done (and that’s just because i need more floor space, preferably one that isn’t hard wood floors with notches and scratches that screw with the pattern paper).

my insides are perfectly calm now (thanks chamomile!), but i am outwardly really excited about where this day is heading!