Let Us Go Then, You and I

Bringing Up Baby by Hagan Wilde

The original short story the film is based on.

William Blake (English, 1767-1827)

Songs Of Innocence and Of Experience: Shewing the Two Contrary States of the Human Soul, circa 1789-1794

It’s time to quit the Outlander fandom when:

1) You hate the genius who wrote  the books, Diana Gabaldon, because she exposes you to unpleasant realities like rape and torture and racism and slavery  and because she fawns over Sam and hates Cait. You know she hates Cait because she never praises her acting, so she must hate her. QED

2) You hate Ronald D Moore, the show-runner who brought you the TV series. Because he’s a privileged white male and  he represents the patriarchy and he thought Tobias Menzies was a damn fine actor.  You hate Starz because they brought you the TV series, and because their PR isn’t as good as it would be if you did the PR.

3) You hate Matt Roberts who wrote some of the best scenes, for what he left out (except it was Sam who left out the best bit, oops)  from your favourite books whose author you hate, and doesn’t respond well  to your inane criticisms on Twitter. And because he represent the patriarchy

4) You hate Sam, or Cait (delete to taste), because they left out your favourite lines from the book whose author you hate, and they don’t respond to your inane questions on twitter, and they don’t kiss tongue to tongue  like they used to.

5) You hate Sam or Cait because you suspect though you deny  that they’re not madly in love with Cait or Sam, and have the damn impudence to have SOs outside the set, and go on holidays with them, rather than spending 24/7, 12 months a year with their god-given true-loves. You yourself spend every hour of every day of every month with your partner, and never need a break, you lucky thing)

6) You hate Sam ‘cos he’s not like the Jamie you imagined from the books, or Cait  because she’s not like the Claire you imagined from the books, which were written by the author you hate. You hate their wigs; who cares if their hair falls out  or they get cancer from constant dyeing and perming?

7) You hate Season 2 ‘cos there wasn’t enough sex intimacy, and you hated Season 1 ‘cos the best bits, in your opinion, got cut. You hate season 3 ‘cos there’s too much/too little of Sam’s/Cait’s butt. And far too much of that bitch whassername, the one who raped Sam. You know already that you are going to hate Season 4,  too.

8) You hate Season 3  episodes 2 and 4 because  because there was too much sex, between the wrong people

9) You hated Frank Fronk. There was too much Frank in the TV series, and in the books, and Tobias played him like Claire describes him, a decent man gone wrong. That’s why you hate RDM. This series is all about James and Claire, so you hate every moment there’s another actor on the screen (unless they are cute like Lord John or Yie Tien Cho) especially Bree.

.10) You hate Terry because there was far too much emphasis on all those beautiful  costumes worn by Claire in Season 2

11) You hate Terry because Claire wears the same damn costume throughout Season 3, except for episodes 1 through 5, and 11 though 13, you hope

12) You hate whassername who played thingamebob

13)) You hate whassisname who played thingamejig

14)  You hate whojamaflip and thimblerig ‘cos they have no chemistry, or at least, not as much as Sam and Cait, and anyway, they can’t act, and he or she is mean to shippers. Only Sam and Cait can have chemistry. You are dreading Season 4

15) You hate the  whole cast and crew because they are such hypocrites and mean to bat shit crazy shippers, and so many of the Highland warriors  and ship’s crew are played by patriarchal and privileged white men,and anyway they are all in league with  Captain Voldemort and will throw you under a bus if you write inane letters to them, or will throw Sam under a bus if he misinterprets a key scene.

16) You hate most of the other fans in this fandom, except for x, y and z . But then they wrote something on their blog you didn’t agree with, even if yesterday you agreed with them, so now you hate them, ‘cos they are in league with the dark side,  the deniers.