Dark chocolate is tasty.

D: Are we completely screwed as a society, or am I just pessimistic today?

Me: Answer: yes. #askingthewrongperson

Me: Why is the day so long?

Me: [Redacted] would say, as long as I pay for myself, it's definitely not a date.

D: Ugh

Me: Is that not right?

D: How should I know?

Me: I'm bored. ...What are you up to?

D: Working for the ma'am

Man

Me: Or both.

D: So I recently hit it off with a young lady at salsa [dancing] last week. Guess what she's doing today?

Me: Ummm... *shrug*

D: Moving to MALAYSIA

D: [Redacted] is gone now, so I'm back to lonely friendlessness. I can relate.

Me: Lonely Friendlessness is my middle name.

D: You have two middle names? Very progressive.

D: Why does life suck?...

Me: Oh ye of little faith...

D: So your plan is to play midnight tonsil-hockey with a stranger, eh? On one hand - scandalous. On the other hand - props!

Me: Oh no! Just a regular kiss. ...It's just new year's tradition. :P

D: Oh. Props withdrawn.

Me: ...Why can't I get props for being a decent female?

D: Half props

Me: We haven't left the dock yet & already I'm feeling homicidal. :S

D: Uh oh

Me: Lol. I guess I just don't like people in general. :P

D: Remember what you read in the NHB [No Holds Barred fighting] book...

Me: So how'd secret snowman go?

D: Success

Me: Congrats on your office victory! What will you do now that you've conquered the snowman?

D: I didn't just conquer him, I put him in a front face lock

Me: ...But he deserved it for being so secretive.

D: Snapped that carrot right off his face

Me: LOL! Did you make him say "matte?"

D: [no response]

Katana Guy: Do you know what haggis is?

Other Guy: Yes.

Me: I've never met a male model before. Kinda wanted to. XP

Me: You soooo cannot handle the Templeton... But we both wish you a good night anyway! ^_^

D: Dominated. I request a rematch, however....

Me: That can be arranged. The champion is both willing and able...