Carrion

Which slashers are boob men?♡

˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀ RUSTY NAIL

He is on the top of the list for a reason. He’s the leader of this list for a SPECIFIC reason.

Literally the biggest tit man of his entire century, like he is an absolute MENACE. 

You could be talking to him, no matter the context of anything, and half way through the conversation his eyes will slip down to your boobs without fail. Your areola’s are your eyes to him.

Karma does get him, because he’ll get insanely hard embarrassingly fast and start humping ANYTHING for relief, your tits are an aphrodisiac for him. 

He has a love hate relationship with bras, he LOVES the way your boobs bounce against the fabric and they way they spill out of your bra when he’s fucking you too hard–Yet he doesn’t like them because he likes easy access, like the fuck do you mean he can’t “warm his hands’’ against your plump flesh?

He’s a disgusting pervert, when you are sleeping he’ll yank up your shirt and take pictures of your boobs, pictures and videos of him groping your flesh so hard it bruises. He has a hidden iCloud folder in his phone of him sucking your tits while you sleep. You always wake up to him moaning and humping your clothed pussy.

He’ll subtly start leaving those pills in your online shopping list that make you produce milk, giving you subtle hints of what he wants. Expect a lot of comments about milk, like a lot. 

He’s HORRIBLE with the “got milk?’’ and cow jokes, they come off as horny and needy rather than funny. Then will always escalate to him begging to breed you with his pups. :c

He can’t keep his focus around you at all, he’s so good at being cold and mean–But literally all of that melts when you jump in his big ol’ lap and shove your tits in his face. He crumbles like a damn cookie and becomes all submissive and needy.

You cannot look me in the eyes and say he isn’t the type to beg for soapy boob pictures when you're in the shower. He will send you audios of him WHIMPERING as he jerks off to just the thought of seeing your boobs covered in soap studs.

You have permanent discoloration on your body and bruises from how hard he gropes you, he will always apologize after and soothe your inflictions—But he is MEAN with his grip. It always feels like he’s trying to rip you apart when in reality he wants to live in your skin.

Gets grumpy and upset when you won’t let him suck on your nipples, like he literally pouts and gets all cold and distant until you break. 

LOOVES it when you ride him, he’s not even looking at your face. He’s nose deep in your chest, drool running down your front as he pathetically groans into your hot flesh.. His drool is down your naval as you give him a one way ticket to heaven.

Give him a boobjob and he will marry you /srs

The pure concept of seeing his throbbing shaft between your heavy flesh, his pre dribbling onto your soft skin as you jerk him off with your shoulder boulders–He’s gotten cum in your hair because he genuinely squirts from the view.

People think you are being beaten because you have nasty bruises only someone could get from a car crash, but it’s just his meaty hands pawing away like a cat making biscuits. 

When you do start producing milk he will look up what makes production last longer and what certain foods or supplements make you produce a lot, he wants that bang for his buck.

You’ll have to literally rip him away from your sensitive chest from how long and hard he stays there, he’ll lay on top of you till your body goes numb as he latches on drinking from you like you are the fountain of youth.. He’s sucked you dry to a point where it takes a week to recover and start producing again. He’s a big man okay? He needs the milk for his “growing bones.”

When you're sitting on his lap to relax, he’ll subtly bounce you up and down on him to watch you jiggle. Your recoil genuinely rewires his brain back to factory settings.

Gets mad when you try and clean up the mess he left on your chest, he claims it’s “good for your skin’’ and natural lotion. Now you know why your lotion was so creamy this morning.

There will be times where you randomly wake up and see him sucking on your chest, he’ll do it to wake you up.

The type to shove his beer between your boobs when he has to use the bathroom, he only trusts you with his drink afterall!

Shit he uses your boobs as his own damn purse, he’ll put his wallet, phone, hands–anything down that cleavage.. Then stick his hand down your shirt to grab whatever he needs.

Banned from going with you to Victoria Secrets. Last time he came you needed help clasping a bra, he came into that tiny stall and the next thing you knew you were in the AIR while he plowed away into that puffy cunt.

Why yes he does in fact have a picture of your boobs in his wallet, tysm. ♡

‧˚꒰🐾୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ THE BEAST

This big ol’ monster wants nothing more than you to lay on top of his body and smother him half to death with your chest. That is his dying wish, check his will.

Your chest (and stupidity) is what saved your life, not realizing he was a ruthless monster killing ravers one by one in this abandoned warehouse. When he came up behind you to shove a glowstick in your eye you started GRINDING against him.

He was so stunned at your stupidity and audacity, like he did not know what to do with his hands when you dragged him over to a secluded spot and got all comfortable in his lap. Shoving that rusted welder's mask against your heavy flesh–OOOO this mountain of a man is out. Like whattt? He was going to kill you? Nonsense. He would NEVER kill you. 

He adores getting up behind you and cupping his gloved hands on your tits, squeezing and fondling them. Doesn’t help you have an obvious size difference, he can just loom over you like the grim reaper and squeeeezeee to his heart's content! You love a good grope. And he’s a massive pervert who shamelessly stares down your shirts.

You aren’t allowed to wear bras, why would you do such a thing and suppress his stress relievers? How heartless of you.

Despite his coldness and lack of emotions, you can always tell when he’s in a daze with you. His little window to his rusted welders mask fogs up beyond belief, and you can audibly hear him panting like a mutt.

Looovees to be the big spoon, is it because he wants to fondle you in your sleep? Yes, he’ll take off his gloves at night before going to bed so he can have “natural hand warmers’’ 

His favorite place to put his hands is your underboob, he likes the weight you have.

Your boobs have officially become his pillow, he outright refuses to use a real pillow. On top of your tits so he can hear your heartbeat is enough for him.

Any bikini top, tank top, or tube top–Literally anything skimpy has him frothing from the mouth like he has rabies, he does very much enjoy the view.

When you complain about back pains or chest pains he will appear out of nowhere and become your bra. He loves it when you lay down with your back against his chest, giving him the perfect opportunity to hold you.

When you complain about chest pain he’ll always come massage you, coming to relax your sore muscles and nerves.

Nipple pincher 2000. It’s almost like a habit for him, he just likes to pinch your nipples till they are all perky.

A whore for seeing your nipples hard, is also the type of man to grab any baggy shirt you're wearing and pull it back to watch the fabric cling to your figure.

Will randomly push you against random things to watch your chest squish down.

Likes to push your tits down onto his crotch whenever you're using his belly to prop up your phone, you can always feel his monstrous bulge against your ribcage.

Adores it when you sit on his shoulders and use the top of his head to rest your chest on, his hands always squeeze the hell out of your thighs as he leans his head back into that perfect chest.

You can hear him chuffing against your skin out of sheer comfort, this behemoth is sooo happy with you. You can hear him chuffing too..

Likes it when you wear fur lingerie, a two piece bikini made out of faux fur against your pretty skin.. He makes you grind against the fur till you jolt from it sticking to your sloppy pussy before he stuffs the fabric in your small hole. ♡

૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎ა  ASA EMORY – “THE COLLECTOR’’

The song “shoulder boulders’’ by S3RL is in his playlist, you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me otherwise. 

He takes great interest in anatomy & biology, which also applies to you. Especially you, he has a “medical record” book and it’s just you.

Will have you sit with him completely naked as he does a full body examination on you, this can and will include him wasting 20 minutes trying to stimulate milk production and getting irritated when it doesn’t work.

This man is a whore for pretty lingerie, I’m not talking about conservative lingerie. I’m talking about mid 2000-2016 lingerie where being sexy was not a crime, his favorite piece on you is apron lingerie. Especially the cute black & pink polka dot one with lace that can barely keep your tits in. He’ll make you stay dressed like that all day and do the most house-wifey shit ever, he edges himself the entire time. Just being a big pervert and watching you from afar as he squeezes the hell out of his cock.

During sex he’ll make you wear tank tops or a bra so he can watch the recoil of your plump flesh bouncing with every violent thrust, he’ll get too impatient and horny and ends up yanking them out.

You purposely tease the hell out of him knowing how weak he is, you’ll purposely stretch or lay your tits against a counter–Or when you hug him ensuring he can feel your nipples touching him. 

It’s gotten so bad he comes prematurely every time you hug him, you embarrass him so bad. 

Likes to drag his serrated knife along your cleavage, making small cuts and lashes to lick up the blood and suck the wound clean.

When he catches you he’ll cut off every last bit of your clothes off of your body and replace it with rope, he loves the way your tits squeeze together behind the rough twine and how you struggle. His fingers always find their way to rub the rope burn away from your skin.

Makes you sit in his lap as his index fingers teasingly rub your nipples in small circles till they bud, he ties up your wrists together so you can’t go down and touch yourself.. Instead you make a big mess all over the front of his jeans because that drooly pussy won’t stay shut.

Strips you completely naked and makes you run in the forest as he hunts you down, you never hear him chasing after you so it always takes you by surprise when he suddenly grabs you and slams you in the mud to break your poor cunt on his dick for hours..

Also has trail cameras out in the forest, and in the house.. He gets off with watching you without your knowledge. ♡

૮꒰˶ ⁠❛   ˕ ⁠❛˶꒱ა  BUBBA SAWYER – “LEATHERFACE”

He feels INSANELY perverted and doesn’t want to admit he drools over your chest. It’s not that he feels like it’s immoral or anything–He just doesn’t want to scare you. :(

He’s tame with his obsession at first, hell you don’t even notice. You think it’s sweet he loves to lay his head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat lull him to sleep as you snuggle him close. 

He loves to lay his head on your chest, when you're sitting in his lap, when he’s laying on top of you, your boobs are his certified pillow.

His perversion becomes a bit obvious when he begins to start groping you nervously, feeling bad and like his hands aren’t supposed to be there! But your hands cupping his and putting them under your shirt so his thumbs could grind against your nipples and make them nice and perky–How could he say no?

His hands squeeze and grope with more vigor and confidence, happy you were enjoying and consenting to this.

His big meaty hands worship your chest, thumbs rolling over hardened nipples as his fingers greedily squeezed your flesh. He was so stupidly in love with you, and so so so happy you loved him back!

Like the others he gets off watching you bounce as he’s viciously dicking you down, he’ll put you in bras, shirts, tank tops, bikini tops.. Just watching your heavy set bounce so hard from him pounding you, loves it when you are on your back or on your side so he can see the way you jiggle.. 

Sometimes the dumb brute goes a little too fast and hard and ends up having you pawing at the bed or him trying to get him to slow down as his thick cock destroys your tiny hole, he can’t help it his wife is so pretty!

Bubba loves to fill you up with his potent creampies and slowly pull out so he can watch your stretched out pussy spurt out his cum all over him, seeing your pretty little chest that’s adorned with bruises and bites heave desperately as you squirt out his mess all over his tummy. ♡

Bubba

Alright let’s get into this nightmare, since he is based heavily off Ed Gien and I just finished watching it I feel like there needs to be justice to his character.

That boy wears women’s lingerie, no exception.

He has a deep sense of insecurities about himself which is why he has the masks as a persona.

I feel like he wouldn’t be disgusted with animal meat but nothing beats human to him.

Picky eater unless it’s meat. (Vro is not eating his vegetables)

Not only does he have blood, dirt and other gross things under his nails but he also has small smeared chunks of lipstick under them.

His nails are horribly damaged but I feel like he tries to paint them, first it started with blood but now he looks for sharpies or makers on victims bodies since they last longer.

Smells like shit, with flies circling him, green aura type shi.

Let’s be real, acne under the mask.

Does know how to tie his own tie and shoes.

Other than his chainsaw does not like loud noises but tolerates them, usually he can make them stop making noise completely.

Likes to wear women’s clothes and tried their shoes on too but most of them are too small on him.

Kinda wants to be a woman but also doesn’t, he’s very confused.

Couple headcanons

Loves making stuff out of bones for you, bracelets, necklaces, hair pieces etc. he would love if you made him something back!

If you wear lingerie, bras, panties, that shit is getting STOLEN and stretched out from him wearing them. If you wear a binder or trans tape trust he’s taking that too, he’s just curious.

If you’re a trans woman i promise you he loves you more than anything. (Mostly because Ed gien had a fascination with a trans woman)

Can’t read very well or at all so you end up reading him stories.

If you do his makeup he’s so happy, like over the moon. Now if you give him girly outfits to try on or buy him some he will make sure you will never leave him

Cause he’s so big I feel like he overheats quite quickly especially wearing that jacket.

Pour two things of sweet tea powder in his drink, he’s dying from the heat.

Does NOT know what a period is.

Tommy

This big boy here was also based off Ed Gien. So somethings might be the same as bubba.

Like Bubba he has a fascination with women, bubba fully wears the lingerie behind closed doors but Thomas is very hesitant when trying it on.

Unlike bubba he will eat his vegetables but only certain ones, he is also a picky eater unless it is meat.

His fingers are busted from chewing on them from stress.

He would be interested in painting his nails but would never actually try to do it since he’s to busy with chores.

As aggressive as he may seem he is gentle with animals like rabbits (me), cats, mice etc.

Very sore palms from grabbing and working with his hands, he has marks, bruises and calluses.

Like bubba he probably has acne and sores under his mask or like some type of infection that could be fixed if he just showered.

Showers like once a month.

His feet probably hurt all the time.

Like bubba he overheats to much but he refuses to take breaks.

Loves sweet tea but secretly likes pink lemonade.

Couple headcanons

Surprisingly he can cook very well, cooks the best brisket human or not.

You have to help him embrace who he is, painting his nails, doing his hair, putting him in lingerie and stuff like that.

If you’re transgender he wouldn’t care. If you’re trans men he would give you his old clothes that don’t fit, if your trans fem he would act a little more hostile towards you at first but mostly because of insecurities, he’ll warm up and have an unhealthy obsession with you. If you’re non binary he doesn’t care, same with bubba mostly because they both don’t understand but they support you no matter what!

He loves touching you hair, he likes the way it feels in his hands.

Unlike bubba he know basic sign language so he’ll sign small things to you like “hi pretty”, “mine” or “I love you”.

He’s insecure about a lot of about himself, he thinks of you as gorgeous and himself as ugly.

Knows what a period is but VERY little.

Nsfw Headcanons:

It takes a while to get him comfortable with the idea of sex, considering he dislikes it when others have it so heavily.

Once he actually has sex with you, it doesn't actually stop the killing, he just only tolerates sex when he has it with you. He’s a bit of a hypocrite.

He doesn't always immediately go for penetration. Sometimes he likes frotting/thigh fucking. Dry humping is one of his favorite things to do.

Seeing you in bondage becomes a favorite of his, he likes seeing you helpless.

He can get a little selfish. You always cum, but he likes controlling the tempo and the pace, and he doesn’t care much if you plead with him to go faster or slower. He’s in control.

Sometimes he just would rather cuddle, but if you’re really horny he lets you ride his thigh or his boot until you get off.

Was it a little dramatic? Sure.

Could this totally backfire in your face? Absolutely.

Did you care? No, not really, because you were at your wits end.

You made yourself comfortable on the full-sized bed. You couldn't help but recall the memory of you trying to convince him to actually look into an actual bed and not just…a cot or a pull-out couch which he didn't even utilize.

Edward very rarely slept, and even when he did it was never properly in an actual bed. He didn't think a whole bed set was necessary, relying solely on power naps and spite to keep him going.

As you were recalling the memory, you didn't even notice Ed actually coming into the bedroom (which was really an office space that you tried to turn into a makeshift bedroom with the bed)

"Is there a reason you're naked in my bed?"

You looked around as if what you were doing was totally ordinary.

"Uh…cause I can?"

Edward groaned. "What a childish excuse, of all the reasons—"

"It's because I've been trying to get your attention all day, genius!" You rolled your eyes as you sat up on the bed, your head against the pillows propped up by the wall.

"My attention? You could've—"

"You just brushed me off—besides…what's that popular quote?" You slowly slid off the bed.

You put your finger to your chin in faux thought, as you got closer to the rogue.

The rogue who was struggling to function. He realized he no longer had control of the scene despite being the one least physically vulnerable.

Edward prided himself on always getting the final word in, standing his ground (well, most of the time), but even his impressive cerebral capabilities didn't quite expect to ever have to respond and react to a scenario like this.

As your nude body got closer to his, Edward found himself choking on his next words—despite his best efforts he was rendered utterly dumbfounded.

"Oh, yeah!" You exclaimed.

You took the opportunity of him finally not talking out of his ass to get intimately close to him.

"Actions speak louder than words." Your hands managed to touch his torn, filthy, grease stained tank. Snaking their way and around his neck.

All Edward could do was remain frozen, only thing moving was his bottom lip as he tried to formulate any fragmented words or sentences.

Vocals that never came.

Even as you got closer and closer, finally just smashing your lips onto his chapped dry ones.

The kiss seemed to spark some nerons together in Ed's mind, but not to say anything—to do something.

Before you could register anything else, Ed fiercly, albeit sloppily kissed you back—shucking off his filthy gloves and tossing them blindly to the side.

His hands gripped your skin like a life line as you began walking backwards towards the bed once more.

Tongues twirled and teeth clashed—hands gripped skin after tearing off whatever fabric still remained on Ed.

Let’s just say, if it were up to Edward…your birthday would be a national holiday. It should be a nationwide holiday that everyone should acknowledge.

However, Ed would accept it as his own recognized national holiday instead. 

Edward would call into work, no doubt using some PTO or calling in sick. 

He’s likely to ask you questions leading up to your birthday, about what you want, what you like, and what your past birthdays were like.

I highly doubt that he celebrated any of his birthdays at the orphanage. 

He probably didn’t know what his birthday was until he was old enough to leave and gathered whatever docs the orphanage had (if any)

Ed is definitely taking mental notes of whatever information you divulge. 

He recalls all the sweet things you did for him for his birthday and he tends to reciprocate tenfold. 

The week leading up to your birthday, he would definitely leave birthday cards around for you to find.

Cards about your personality, your looks, fond memories, and everything in between. 

Edward wasn’t always the best cook, but he tried his best to make a homemade cake for you. 

He tried quite a few times while you were out or you were at home. Until he finally got it right. 

Ed is definitely the type to start celebrating or to tell you happy birthday at midnight.

He HAS to be the first one to tell you a happy birthday.

This is when he also reveals your favorite flavored cake. 

To say you were stunned would be an understatement.

I can see him either saving up and buying you a gift that you’ve mentioned liking in passing or hand-crafting you something.

The doorbell chimes for the entrance of another customer. 

You look up and smile as you see the familiar bulky forest green jacket. “Welcome in, Eddie!” 

The quiet man looked up with a wide smile and a beaming face. “H-Hi – Y/N!”

“Take a seat and I’ll be right with you, Eddie!” 

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

He despised when others dubbed him that, usually in a mocking tone. Not you, he absolutely adored the way it rolled off your lips. So sweet and affectionately, like home. 

Edward adores your smile, he swears your smile widens and shines brighter at him than anyone else. He had missed you terribly last night when you weren’t at work. He was worried and scared something had happened, but it all disappears out the window when he sees you glowing at him.

Little does he know whenever you see him smile, it was an absolute treat for you.

You weren’t sure what to think when you notice your co-workers and fellow waitresses flip a coin for whoever has to “serve the weirdo.” You were surprised to find they were talking about the cute round faced man, with soft brown hair and adorable glasses. 

You surprised them when you said you'd take his order and the rest was history. 

He intrigued you with his intelligible scribbles in his ledgers he often brought with him. You enjoyed watching him solve the daily crosswords in the paper, he even helped you solve the daily Wordle when you finally got the courage to sit with him on your break one day.

Then there were the riddles, you never cared for the annoying brain teasers but when you saw the way they made his eyes twinkle and his cheeks rounder with his wide smile…riddles weren't so bad anymore. 

Now you looked forward to his visits every evening.

Meanwhile, Edward was hesitant at first about your intentions, but when he looked into your eyes and saw no malice or that you weren’t waiting for someone to rescue you, every time you had to interact with him. His heart quickened and he found himself genuinely smiling (and not at the expense of the elite violently suffering).

When you asked him for help with your game, he was scared shitless. Again, he couldn’t conspire any hidden motives from you. He didn’t foresee some cruel prank or you pitying him in any way. You took notice of him solving crosswords and made a proper educated guess he could help you out. His heart quickened again and somehow he managed to lead you to the right answer. 

You were so delighted and appreciative of him. Edward felt like he was drowning but simultaneously floating on Cloud 9. Regardless he made it a point to see you every evening after work. Much like this evening. 

You walked down the bar with a piping hot cup of coffee ready for him. “Hey, Eddie! How was your day?”

“I-It was fine, another long day at work. H-How are you?”

“I’m doing much better now that you’re here.” You smiled. 

His pale face immediately starts reddening into a soft pink hue, but he smiles back sheepishly.

“Hey, I’m so sorry for missing you yesterday, I had a bad round of food poisoning and didn’t want to chance it, you know?”

Edward was so elated to see you again, he forgot about the one time he missed you.

It was safe to say after three meetings, Edward was fixated on you immediately. He visited the diner every day until he recognized your schedule. It caught him off guard when you weren’t there..the one night you were definitely supposed to be there. 

His head raced with various scenarios – all of them the absolute worse ones. 

However it never occurred to the genius you didn’t feel well and called in sick. He didn’t bother to ask your co-workers. He had just as much disdain for them as they did for him. The diner’s only redeeming qualities was the location, pumpkin pie, and now you.

“Oh, I-I understand. I’m sorry you didn’t feel well..what did you eat?”

And what’s the name of the establishment?

“It’s that new wing place on 7th and Montgomery? It’s walking distance from my apartment complex so I figured I’d give it a try…but maybe not.” 

7th and Montgomery…The only apartments there is the Elliot Apartments…one thing at a time, Ed.

You went to grab him a slice of his favorite pie, until you realized the sorry droopy state it was in. You shook your head and tossed the slice out. You gave Ed a wink and held up your finger to give you a minute to put a fresh pie in the oven in the back. 

There goes his heart doing somersaults. 

When you came back to the bar, he asks, “h-how’re you feeling now? If you still feel queasy..”

Your heart swelled. He’s just too cute for his own good. “Aww, I’m feeling much better, Eddie. I wouldn’t come in if I didn’t feel up to it. Besides I felt bad enough missing you last night, I wouldn’t dream doing it to you two nights in a row!” 

Ed’s eyebrows raised as a soft smile grew on his lips.

She missed me too, just like I missed her!

Ed chuckles softly, “d-don’t feel bad! T-there was no way of knowing, besides you’re here tonight and you’re better…t-that’s all that matters.”

“You’re really sweet, Eddie. Thank you.” You pat your hand on his. 

“F-For what?”

“For being you.” You chirp. “Speaking of you, I’ve got a riddle for you!” 

Edward grins, he adored when you shared riddles, even if he knew the answers.

- Edward practically lives to serve you. 

- He'll do anything for your praise and to be permitted to touch you.

- It's a wonder this man isn't on his knees kissing the ground you walk on 24/7.

- He would if you asked him too, though.

- Ed has gone way too long in his life without any sort of affection.

- Once he gets just a slither of it from you, whether it's a kiss, a soft caress, or something more. He's instantly hooked.

- If not for his upbringing and festering hate for the corrupt, he would've sworn his purpose was to please you. 

- It's a close second purpose though.

- "Good boy," "sweet Eddie," "Eddie baby," and variations of these are some of his favorite pet names you give him. 

- If you call out to him "Eddiieee~" in a sing songy voice, this boy is an instant puddle of mush.

- Nothing turns him on more than when you tell him he can't cum without your permission.

- The absolute euphoria he feels at not only obeying you but pleasing you for being obedient. Makes it all worth it…

- If you want him a whimpering mess, which he usually is anyway, but to drive it home, touch him but refuse him permission to touch you. 

- He cherishes and longs for your soft and loving touch, but he wants to be able to reciprocate it. To show how grateful he is, but he'll do his best and stay your good boy.

- He'll definitely thank you and whatever he's done in a past life for this privilege of your love and attention.

Edward will never truly understand why you were going out of your way to interact with him. 

No one else in the office did, so why did you bother? 

You were attractive, clearly bright, and…friendly. People liked you, normal people, not people like him. 

Yet, here you were…

“Hey, Ed! How are you this morning?”

“Uh…I..er…fine, Y/N. A-and you?” 

“I’m great! Hey, I wanted to ask you some-”

"Hey Rain Man! Hey, you got that Loeb case file ready?” 

Well, at least Zach wasn’t just rude to Edward.

“Yeah, here.” Ed flicked the manilla folder to the clean-cut man in front of him. 

“Ah, perfect! Thanks, buddy! We’ll make a killin’ with this one!” 

Zach turned to look at you and gave you a cheesy full-teeth grin. “Hey, Y/N.” He winked and went off back to his office. 

Edward shrunk within himself back into his cubicle. You were no doubt fawning over Zach’s flirty gesture and you’ve completely ignored weird ol’ Eddie–

“Ugh, rude dick.”

Wait, what?

“What?” Ed lifted his head back up. 

“Oh, sorry, geez. I just can't stand people like him. Pompous and arrogant.” 

Oh…well this is an interesting development.

Edward would never fully admit it to himself, but there was a nagging notion in his brain that identified the early signs of a growing crush. He thought he was beyond that emotion, he would be incapable to ever act upon it like a normal person. No one would ever reciprocate whatever motions he took to even try and court a partner, so he tossed the idea out of his mind. 

However, you’ve proven to make the emotion start to gnaw and fester in his gut. Made what he deemed impossible to seem somewhat possible. He couldn’t tell if he wanted to bash your head in or embrace you. 

I-I couldn’t hurt them, not when they’ve been nothing but kind to me…but it is infuriating.

“Uh…y-yeah, me neither.” Ed mumbled, after a minute of realizing he never responded to you while lost in his inner turmoil. 

You shook your head. “And why does he call you that, Rain Man? It isn’t some weird passive-aggressive thing is it? Cause you shouldn’t have to put up with that, Eddie.”

Eddie. “Oh-uh..n-no nothing like that, I just…I help us-him…make a lot of money.” 

Your eyes widened, before you gritted your teeth. “See, ugh…I don’t know how you put up with him. I sure couldn’t, and I feel bad. You shouldn’t have to–”

“Hey Y/N! Do you have those invoices?” A co-worker hollered over from their cubicle. 

“Oh, shit!” You said under your breath, but Ed heard and it made him chuckle softly. “Yeah, I’m coming!” 

You looked back down to Ed before walking away, “come see me when you get a chance. I still gotta ask you something.” 

“O-Okay.” 

Just like that you were gone, drifted away back into the hustle and bustle of work. Edward was perplexed by you, but given who he is…and how he is, he knew he couldn’t go down this venture without proper knowledge beforehand. 

For once, he actually felt sort of bad about invading someone else’s privacy. Even if he somewhat did so on a legal basis and got paid for just that. Albeit, he knew this was the only way he could get to know you, the true you, without having to ask outright and risk being disappointed when it turned out to be some sort of façade. 

Edward knew he had to take social media with a grain of salt, but he knew it was a good place to start, and it wasn’t his first time hacking into Instagram’s databases. Using your full name and a picture of you available on the company’s website he was able to find your account with ease. 

He didn’t get far into your account. He found himself stricken with a small sting to his chest. He just realized out of the several months you have been here…

Edward’s never seen you smile, a true genuine happy smile. 

Not those minuscule lopsided ones that sufficed lighthearted work discussions. He entertained the idea of possibly, maybe just maybe, one day he could be the reason you smiled like that. 

It took Edward sometime to break from the hypnotizing spell your smile bewitched upon him. When he finally did, he found himself endlessly scrolling. He would get enraptured every now and again by another photo of you smiling. 

You loved animals, often had pictures of you with your pet(s) or just the pet(s). You were also very proactive against issues Ed felt strongly about. There were pictures of you volunteering at the new orphanage…the way you smiled and embraced the children. Your smile infected the children around you. 

You were different. You were different, just like Edward suspected. God, if someone just smiled down at him when he was an orphan, embraced him. Perhaps he wouldn’t be so…estranged from the rest of society. 

Nearly an hour and a half went by and he noticed a little red icon near the upper right corner of his screen. This must be the direct messaging interface–

What the hell? BRUCE WAYNE?

Bruce: Hi there, I just wanted to say I’m very impressed with your volunteer work. I admire your dedication to our fair city. I wished many more Gothamites shared your tenacity. 

Y/N: Is this some kind of prank?

Bruce: Ahh, I can see how you may think that, but nope it isn’t! 

Y/N: Hmm…your account is verified and your photos seem legit…

Apparently, Bruce sent a compelling photo that was no longer available, because your tone immediately changed. 

Y/N: Oh wow! I guess it really is you! I…um…sorry about not believing you. Can’t be too careful lol, but I appreciate your comments. I know this city has its faults but it is home. 

Bruce: It’s quite all right. It’s pretty smart of you to be on your toes. And I know what you mean, about Gotham.

Threads and threads of conversing. You told him about your volunteering ventures, what you did for work. The two of you bonded over your stories and the obvious comfortability between the two of you. 

Bruce: You’re truly a beautiful person, you know? As cheesy as that sounds, but you are, inside and out. 

Edward’s vision started slowly slipping into the vignette of red around his perception. He had to put aside his personal computer and breathe. He opened up the daily crossword and started focusing on the words, the clues and their answers. The red slowly started fading away. 

No, no, no! He stole the public eye from me– from us at the Orphanage. I won’t let him get away with this, too! Not when I can still do something about it. 

As much as Bruce slid in some compliments, they didn’t seem to move you. You thanked him for them, but never reciprocated or focused on them for too long. 

Maybe they’ll reciprocate mine? 

Now armed with the appropriate knowledge and even with an excuse to actually see you. Edward decided to make way to your cubicle. 

It seemed sort of surreal for him to interact with you in a workplace setting. Now knowing who you were when you were free and yourself. He was going to have to act aloof to that version of you, until you revealed it to him. 

He was so determined and heated at your exchange with Bruce Wayne, he didn’t actually plan out how he was going to get your attention. He especially didn’t know since you were busy on the phone. 

Edward waved his hands when he noticed your peripheral was close to where he stood. You immediately took notice and smiled at him. 

That’s close to the one in the pictures…

You held up your hand and made a mouthing motion with it, indicating the person on the phone was chatting your life away. Ed couldn’t help but slightly chuckle.

“Yes-Yes, I understand. Okay, I-I’m sorry I’ve gotta get going, I’ve got another important phone call coming in. I will update you whenever I learn anything new…okay, thank you!” 

You groaned after you hung up the phone. “You’re a lifesaver, Eddie. I didn’t think she’d ever stop talking…” 

Eddie…Eddie…he loathed when Zach called him that, but…he could get used to you saying it. 

“Oh, uh, no problem. You handled it pretty well…”

“That’s what years of customer service will do for you.” You scoffed. 

“Um-uh, y-you wanted to ask me something? I-I finally got some free time…”

“Oh my God, I totally forgot. Yes! Um, so, this is going to sound very strange and extremely forward. But…I’m hosting a Game Night at the Gotham City Library with some school kids and a few of the orphans from the new orphanage. And I’ve noticed you doing the newspaper crosswords and code breakers, I thought you might want to join.”

You were inviting him? You were going to include Edward Nashton in a local outgoing function? For the first time since he’s been alive, Ed’s brain was slightly misfiring. 

“I-I-um…I-I don’t really go out much.” Edward found himself balling up the fabric of his rain jacket. 

“O-Oh, I see, it’s okay. I know it’s a lot and kind of sudden. But maybe we could do something less…crowded? I’d love to try and come up with some puzzles for the kids to solve and actually get them to use their brains.” You giggled. “Does that sound more...manageable? You can still absolutely say no, no hard feelings!” 

“N-No…I-I um…that sounds like fun.” 

Fun? When was the last time Edward had ever said that word out loud to anyone about anything. 

Edward’s eyes widened at your reaction.

There it is. That smile…I did it…I can do this. 

“Yay! Awesome! Thank you so much, Eddie! I really appreciate it! And even if you’re not there, I promise I won’t take the credit. Unlike a certain individual.” You shot daggers at the office door right above your cubicle. Edward had no idea you were right below Zach. You poor thing. 

Edward found himself smiling back, genuinely for the first time in a long time. “I know you won’t. I believe you–trust you.” 

You got up from your chair with some files piled into one arm. You walked by him and placed your hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad, I want you too. You don’t have to be alone in this world, Eddie.” You pat his shoulder and then make your way upstairs. 

“I’ll message you with more details, ok?” You smiled at him, waving as you went further up the stairs. 

Edward found himself nodding and waving back. 

Once Edward’s swirling vengeful thoughts got combined with indisputable facts he found. Facts that gave credence to his underlying hatred and proved that Gotham City is corrupt and that something has to be done. 

He had to do something. 

To don a mask, be a symbol for the city and its elite that chooses to reap not from what they've sown but from those that suffer and without consequence.

"Hey Eddie, wanna watch a movie tonight? I think you'll really enjoy this one!"

Ah, and then there was you. 

You deserved so much better. You deserved a city that cared, a city that helped, and a city that loved. When you two had met, Edward saw light for the very first time in Gotham. 

You two were regulars at the diner down the street from his apartment only to find out you lived in the same complex. It still confounds him that you were still here, you chose to stay here. That you chose to stay…and stay with him.

He had to do something, he had to make the city better. Better for you, to make space for your light to shine through. 

"C-Coming!" Edward tucked his pen in between the pages of his ledger, marked where he left off and pushed the pad to the side. 

The unmistakable sound of popping, signaled him to know you were in the kitchen. However he turned to look and the microwave was on but you weren't there. 

"Gotcha!" You wrapped your arms around his soft frame and leaned your head into his back. 

Ed jolted but instantly relaxed when he felt your familiar warmth. He placed his arms around yours and chuckled softly. 

"Did I scare you?" You asked.

He turned down to see your face squished against his green sweatshirt. Your eyes creased from your wide smile as you beamed at him. Beamed him with your light. 

He chuckled softly, “you did! You got me!” 

You giggled. You squeezed your grasp around him one more time before tending to the freshly popped popcorn in the microwave. 

“Go sit down on the couch. I’ll be right there!” 

“Okay, what exactly are we watching tonight?” 

“Well, since it’s spoopy season, I figured we can start with a modern classic slasher flick.”

Ed took a seat on the couch and bunched up the quilt over his lap. His head popped up at your statement, his eyebrows quirked in confusion. 

“Did you just say…spoopy?”

You nod. “Yeah, why?”

“Don’t you mean spooky?”

You shrugged, “but spoopy is cuter, and I’m cute so it’s well within my cuteness privileges to use it.”

Ed blinked to try and process this new information, but you are cute and he wasn’t going to argue that fact. He nodded, “point taken.”

“That also means you can say it too.” You hopped on the cushion next to him. Some popcorn flying out of the bowl. Ed laughed before taking the bowl from you so you could get under the covers and comfortable. 

When it finally hit Edward’s mind what you were implying. Ed’s face started to flush a faint pink color. Ed chuckled shyly, “i-it may take awhile to get used to that.”

“What spoopy?”

“Well, yes, but mostly being referred to as cute…” 

You smiled sweetly before you lean in to plant a sweet kiss on his cheek. “Just you wait, Nashton. I’ll have you believe a lot of things about yourself as straight facts!”

He shook his head bashfully, he doesn’t fully believe you, but he sure won’t stop you from trying. 

“Anyway, have you ever heard of the Saw movies? They’re pretty gruesome but they’ve become classics in their own right.”

“I-I think so…I’ve seen the puppet character on a tricycle, but that’s it.”

“Ah, yeah, that’s Billy, I think you’ll like it. Atleast the first one, there’s like seven or eight of these. The first three aren’t so bad. You ready?” You asked as you snuggled into Edward’s side.

“Ready when you are.” He smiled as he wrapped an arm around you, perfectly encased you into him. 

You pressed play. 

“I want to play a game.”

Little did you know of just how much you just opened up to Edward’s mind. 

The traps were primitive, solvable, but excruciating and gruesome. 

The victims, the people who didn’t appcreciate their lives. The panic and fear in their wide bloodshot eyes. Their fictional lives flashing before their eyes as they struggle to survive.

This is what Edward wants the mayor, the DA, the commissioner…most of all Carmine Falcone to endure. To bring forth his own renewal.

What if the traps weren’t solvable…well…not the traps themselves…

The scene with Jigsaw’s second victim began. A naked man named Mark is smothered in flammable gel but must use the burning candle to illuminate the safe combinations to get access to the antidote for a slow-acting poison running in his veins. Meanwhile, slowly cut his feet with every step he took on the glass-covered floor.

What if it was another puzzle they had to solve…a cypher…riddles…?

Ed’s eyes widened at that idea. You looked over and notice your boyfriend went pretty quiet, but it was obvious he was very engrossed in what was going on. You had a feeling he’d be into it. 

You just had no idea how right you were. 

Whenever a new trap, a new game as Jigsaw put it, showed up on screen; you felt Edward squeezed your hand but he never once wavered his view away from the screen. To say he was transfixed was an understatement. 

You had no doubt his mind was going into hyperdrive. Analyzing all the possibilities, the set-ups, the machinations of the traps, the clues, and how he’d escape and outsmart the killer. You didn’t doubt he would probably realize the twist to it all and how everyone left was theoretically connected.

Well, you were partially right. Yes, Ed did figure out the connection between the men in bathroom, and he did deduce Jigsaw to Kramer. 

“-sick of people who don’t appreciate their blessings! Sick of those who scoff at the suffering of others! I’m sick of it all!” 

Yes, Edward Nashton was sick of it too. 

As Jigsaw closed the doors on one of the victims, Adam, in the dilapidated bathroom to rot. The film ended and the credits began to roll. 

“Well, whatcha think, Eddie?” 

You shook him when there was no response. “Ed.”

“Hm?”

“What do you think? Pretty smart, huh? Amazing what two film graduates and a 1.2 million dollar budget can pull off…” 

“Y-Yeah, that…that was definitely intriguing.” He nodded. His brain was still taking it all in. This was how he could do it…how he could set forth his own renewal for Gotham, in his own way. 

You got up to put away the empty popcorn bowl in the sink and to get a fresh beverage from the fridge. Ed was still on the couch, lingering in his own thoughts. 

“Hey…uh..Y/N?”

“Yeah, babe?”

He inhaled a little, he wasn’t used to that term of endearment either. “Didn’t you say this was a series?”

“Yeah, they made like eight different ones…I think the last two were spin-offs though. Why?” You came back from the kitchen, you had your preferred drink in one hand, and a hot chocolate for Edward in the other. 

“C-Could we watch the next one, i-if you don’t mind that is…”

“No not at all, I’m surprised, you seem really into it.” You smiled, happy to see Edward enjoying something new, somewhat. 

You set your drink down and go to set up the next film. You didn’t even notice Ed had leaped up from his seat and ran back to his office. When you turn around to take your seat, you saw him with one of his ledgers and a pen primed and ready on a blank page. 

You quirked your eyebrow, “is there a quiz on this I’m not aware about?” 

He looked up at you and then down at his supplies. He chuckles nervously, “oh…uh…no, no. Nothing like that, I just…wanna jot down these clues. I can only imagine things will get more complex with every new installment.”

You shrugged, he wasn’t necessarily wrong, and with how his brain worked it didn’t surprise you. He looked pretty cute wrapped up in a quilt with his pen and paper. Pushing his glasses back in their proper position. 

“Have I told you how absolutely adorable you are, Eddie?” You took your seat again, right next to him and under the quilt. You wrapped your arms around his and buried your cheek into his arm. 

“Y-Yes you’ve implied it a couple times today…” He blushed. 

“Okay, just making sure I’m reaching my daily quota.” You kissed his cheek, and corrected his glasses for him when they fell off the bridge of his nose. 

You pressed play once again. 

I want to play a game. 

Arkhamverse Riddler

Oh, please, like a genius like him has time for such…such matters.

But even a mastermind like Eddie knows the tell-tale signs and he greatly tries to ignore them.

Clammy hands, elevated heart rate, stammering and stuttering his words…like some kind of buffoon.

The small elation of hearing your name or hearing your voice, to have you next to him when he'd sneer and push everyone else away.

Edward shrugs it all off—this…this can't—isn't happening—

Every time you leave, he finds himself missing you more and more…that warm feeling of love rising and lingering longer than the last time he saw you…

It's getting more difficult to say in denial.

Dano/Reevesverse Riddler

Eddie contemplates the notion once he realizes he's been thinking about you…a lot more than he should be.

His mind should be focused on his reformation of Gotham—following Batman's lead for justice—

Yet his mind can't help but wonder about you: what you're up to, how you're feeling, are you safe…

Which is another sign that he's falling for you, he finds himself worried about you—almost an obsessive amount.

Did you make it home okay? Are your doors locked? Windows shut? Are you sure no one's followed you home? (well, besides himself anyway)

Once he's accepted the fact that what he feels…can only be described as love…

Eddie feels more invigorated than ever to go through with his plans…after all if anyone deserves a better Gotham…it's you.

Gotham Riddler

Definitely one of the few Riddlers that's well aware of when he's falling in love.

It makes him anxious as one might expect, but not for the same reasons as most…

For Eddie, when he realizes he's falling in love again, he's anxious that something will happen to you as a result of it…after all everyone he's previously been in love with is now dead.

Eddie will try and push the feelings down, but remain cordial, kind, and friendly—even if it kills him not to admire you.

Meanwhile, Ed, thinks…no he knows, you'll be different! You can handle him—both sides of him—you wouldn't run away.

It is Ed that eventually pursues you, behind Eddie's back.

Eddie can only hope that Ed is right and that you won't be afraid of him…or become a target…

BTAS Riddler

Edward is smitten almost immediately.

He tries to stay…calm and collected…not let this—sudden fondness get the better of him…but to no avail.

He can tell it's love when he thinks about you after finishing a new project.

Among it's completion, he wonders what you would think about his new puzzles or toys he designed…how you'd like his new riddles.

The signs of infatuation only get more obvious as he begins blushing and stuttering over his words around you. Especially after you praise him for his latest invention~

He finds himself almost wanting to impress you more than outwitting Batman…almost…

But he definitely begins seeking your approval more so than his investors~

Zero Year/Capullo Riddler

Edward scoffs at the idea…

Sure, it's a sweet idea…an ideal outcome for most to find love.

He figures it's just not in the cards for him—already deciding no one out there could ever meet up to his expectations.

If (and it's a big if) he does start falling in love, he will take notice—and urgently try to ignore it.

Ed will still be condescending, rude, and blunt towards you—but he actually feels dejected when you get frustrated with him and walk off.

He doesn't get as annoyed with you as others, finding the banter between you two amusing.

Edward wants to keep you around…he can't deny enjoying you presence, and surely this feeling will subside once you inevitably bore him…right?

Gotham City Sirens Riddler

Well, for starters, he must really think highly of you if he goes out of his way to set up dates with you—

Often times, Ed gets sidetracked with work to call back for a second date or found the first date to be underwhelming.

But he put forth the effort to be with you, unless it was an emergency or he was caught in a snag and he couldn't make it…but even when that happened, you always understood.

Which just made him appreciate you even more.

You knew to an extent who he was and what he does…and when you didn't pry when something occured…it made him want to tell you everything.

Something else that was unlike him, to feel this desire to be vulnerable with someone…especially after getting burned before by so called "friends".

Edward continues to make the effort to keep you around and slowly comes to terms that he may indeed be in love with you.

Telltale Riddler

Edward believes he's far too old and past his prime to pursue such endeavors.

It's not even so much that he thinks no one is good enough but that…he didn't want to put someone he cares about in harm's way…given his colorful and infamous past.

For Edward, there was no point to love…not anymore, but he knew himself well enough to know the signs.

The way his shoulders slump slightly, his voice isn't so heavy with intimidation or condescension, and the way his walls open up slightly.

Hearing your name…brings a small pleased smile on his face, as he quietly hopes to see you soon.

Edward has no contention admitting to himself he's in love…it's whether he'll ever tell you…is the true enigma.

Young Justice Riddler

Oh boy...oh God…oh geez…

It's…painfully obvious early on that he's head over heels for you.

Eddie can't stop thinking about you—what to say the next time he sees you, how to impress you, to get you to notice him…

You're a fairly big distraction much to the chagrin of Eddie's teammates.

He goes out of his way to try and spend as much time with you as he can…

Even while simultaneously being a nervous wreck about being near you for an extended period of time.

Arkhamverse Riddler

Honestly, Ed may not fully comprehend or hear what you're saying.

You'll be spending most of your efforts trying to get his attention.

Your question—almost turns into a demand—"Be my Valentine!" topped off with a hushed insult.

Luckily, he heard your demand at least and he's baffled.

Your Valentine? What kind of ridiculous—

Ed rolls his eyes, why of course he is! It should be a given!

Only a buffoon wouldn't want him to be their Valentine! The most intelligent man in Gotham!

Dano/Reevesverse Riddler

Good luck trying to beat the holiday card king!

He likely has already left you a handmade Valentine's Day card with a riddle scribbled inside inquiring you to be his—

Don't let that stop you from asking him in return though!

"I'll be yours, if you'll be mine!"

Eddie will smile at the offer—accepting it instantly.

Come what may with him or the dreaded city of Gotham

At least he has you, his Valentine.

Gotham Riddler

First you two would be stumbling over who should speak up-

After a brief silence, you decide to speak up and ask him to be your Valentine…

And in all the scenarios he played out in his head, he very rarely entertained the idea that you would ask first. 

You see the perplexed look on Ed’s face and assume you perhaps misread all your previous interactions with the man-

That is until his face lights up and he gives you that familiar cheeky muppet-like smile you adore~

Once he accepts it feels like a suffocating weight is lifted off the both of you.

BTAS Riddler

Eddie's face turns as red as a Valentine's day heart.

The man usually gifted in word play, is at a great loss for the simplest words in the moment.

He does manage to pull himself together and with a big wide smile accepts your offer.

Because you beat him to the question, it's up to him to come up with the date!

The only hint to what it'd entail, of course, is in the form of a riddle.

Eddie is anxious but delighted, hoping that you will be his Valentine for years to come.

Zero Year Riddler

Oh…oh ho ho that—that's adorable.

Are you gonna give him a little misshapened cut out heart with your name signed on the botton, too?

Ed continues to tease and mess with you about it—

Which, I guess is as close of a yes as you'll get? Otherwise he would've just flat out said no…

You regret asking him, but are relieved that he didn't turn you down.

Ed figures it took some guts to ask him, plus you deserve some points for having good taste~

He does accept after awhile of teasing, even if it is with a half grin and dismissive shrug.

Gotham City Sirens Riddler

Well, that's not how he planned things to go, but he'll take it.

Ed had a plan in his mind—ask you out properly, flowers, a small gift in hand—the whole nine yards.

But he figures it's atleast pleasant to know that the feelings are mutual.

He accepts with a small proud smile…

Just before asking you if you had any other plans or ideas he wasn't aware about.

When you say no, he's delighted to step in and take the lead back to his original plan—which you're also pleased to accept.

Telltale Riddler

Edward never paid too much attention to holidays—especially ones that have been expunged of their original meaning and tradition in place of mass corporate greed—

Valentine's Day being a big one, at least Christmas or Halloween he could take advantage of in some regard for a plan with riddles to match.

When you ask him to be your, Valentine, for the holiday…he's dumbfounded.

Why do you care? And why him? Did you want something from him? Or are you just annoying him for your amusement?

Edward's eyes widened slightly when you explain there's no other end goal for you than to just show him how you care about him.

Not sure what else to say, he concedes to being your Valentine…and he can't help but smile fondly at the thought.

Young Justice Riddler

Almost like with Gotham Eddie, it's a race to see who asks first.

You both likely end up asking each other the question in unison.

You're beaming excitedly—Eddie's face is burning red.

He asks to assure him that he heard you right, and you nod that he indeed heard you correctly.

You will be each other's Valentines for the day!

Arkhamverse Riddler:

- Eddie wasn't amused.

- You know, he wears this attire for convenience not for show!

- He figures he can atleast applaud you on your attention to detail.

- So you have been observing him while he works—no it isn't because he doesn't change into any other sort of clothes!

- If you include his glasses—he'll accuse you of stealing his own which he may have misplaced (whether you actually took them or not is at your discretion)

- Edward does joke about how, while you can dress up as him all you like—you most certainly will never be as intelligent as him.

Dano/Reevesverse Riddler:

- Most likely the most uncomfortable of Riddler costumes to adorn.

- You likely just borrowed his own attire as a means to surprise him—

- Which you very much do—

- Edward isn't quite sure what to make of you wearing it—it was always a sort of comfort and escape for him to do what he most desired…

- He supposes he's glad you find…comfort in it—you're not afraid of it or his…other side.

- When you take off his mask and catch your breath, he does make the suggestion of helping you make your own costume, like his—a matching companion costume to his own.

Gotham Riddler:

- Eddie is surprised but adores the idea!

- Who knew that green looked so good on you!

- If this was anyone else he would accuse them of trying to steal his look—

- But he knows you would never, plus you look way too cute to just dismiss or ignore.

- Eddie will definitely have you walking beside him throughout the day—

- He suggests you should dress up like him more often~

BTAS Riddler:

- Edward is at a loss for words.

- He almost didn't recognize you if your voice and smile weren't a dead giveaway for him.

- He's intrigued to know what inspired you to choose him as inspiration for your costume.

- Eddie's flustered and flattered—tries to cover up his speechlessness by teasing you—

- Sure, you got the costume down, but have you the wits to match?

- Spending time with you dressed as him, becomes a delightful memory.

Zero Year/Capullo Riddler:

- Oh, ho cute, very cute of you, very cute~

- Edward is a little amused at the idea—

- Unlike with Arkham's glasses, you most definitely, did steal Zero Year's hat to complete your look.

- This of which…Ed wasn't amused at all (the hat isn't cheap after all)

- He scoffs that just because you dress up as him, it won't make you any smarter.

- As fun as it is—his look is his alone—he'd much rather have you dress up as someone else…

Gotham City Sirens Riddler:

- Ed has a sly little grin on his face.

- You dressed up as him, your feet propped up on his desk in his office, with his can across your lap.

- Well, he always did want some time off—

- You can take care of the cases while he's gone, you certainly look the part!

- You were laughing as you tried to stop Edward from actually leaving his office.

- As fun as it was to surprise him with you dressed as him—you dont think you could actually pull off the cases he takes.

Telltale Riddler:

- You would never tell him out loud, but he did have a cool get-up

- Sure it was simple, which made it easier for you to replicate but you couldn't turn down a jacket and hoodie combo.

- Edward doesn't quite get the point of you doing this…

- You may have the clothing, but you couldn't possibly pull of the heists he's done…especially in his glory days.

- Seeing you does bring up those memories…when he first made the change as he got older.

- In the end, he does appreciate the effort…and the thought.

Young Justice Riddler:

- Asffhjkltewfghjkl

- Edward never imagined the day someone would…willingly choose to dress up as him!

- He has…many questions…w-why him? w-where did you find his jacket? and purple glasses?!

- Eddie becomes more flustered when you tell him how, whether by making it yourself or asking someone too…

- You mentioned how you thought it'd be a fun surprise for him! Plus you always thought he looked cool!

Arkhamverse Riddler:

- Ed lets you celebrate by allowing you to finally show off your pride colors and NOT just green!

- This is actually one of the few parades/celebrations the city hosts that he can actually get behind–

- What? No, he can’t attend…hahaha someone as prideful as him should attend, how funny…

- But do you have any idea how much work he has to get done? While everyone's out and about, he has ample time to place trophies!

- Eddie is stunned when he sees you sport his orientation colors (if you chose to headcanon him having any)...

- While, he can’t guarantee he can go…please take a riddler bot in case any bigots show up…

- And yes the robot’s colors are reconfigured to your orientation colors.

Dano/Reevesverse Riddler:

- Edward has always had a passing admiration for Pride month.

- Not that he’d think he would ever properly participate in any festivities, until he met you.

- You help inform of all the various orientations and sexualities…something Edward hadn’t quite thought about in a long time.

- He knew they existed just never sure where he’d fit in…or if he’d fit in at all.

- It definitely brings the two of you closer as a couple.

- Edward does worry about your safety–so he tends whatever festival or parade may be going on.

- It is one month that he feels the most comfortable with himself…

- And being able to celebrate it with you makes it all the more special.

Gotham Riddler:

- This nerd has a historical fact about LGBTQIA+ and the community and history for every day of Pride Month and then some.

- You even learn some things you didn’t even know about.

- Has some recommendations for shops and books by members of the community—

- Chats with Oswald about having Pride theme parties at the Iceberg Lounge, with you as his plus one of course.

- He’s more likely to invite you to a parade or festival before you can invite him!

- Edward has always usually celebrated in silence–

- But now with his confidence and a supportive partner such as you, it just makes the month all the more fun!

BTAS Riddler:

- Like Gotham Riddler, he definitely knows a handful of facts and significance towards the month.

- He’s more than delighted to partake in any and all activities you wish to attend.

- Eddie is likely to inquire about your journey and your process (that is if you’re comfortable with it of course)

- He will share his in return, it’s only fair.

- Definitely knows about some games that were developed by someone of the LGBTQIA+ community he will let you try out and play.

- It’s a month you both look forward to now that you have someone to celebrate with.

Zero Year/Capullo Riddler:

- Edward usually never cared too much to participate in the month.

- Although he definitely believes he can align himself with a certain sexuality or orientation..

- There was just never any time or true desire to partake in them.

- He wasn’t necessarily in the closet, but he didn’t go out of his way to say anything, albeit he never had to–what with his attraction doing the talking.

- But he supposes, to keep you entertained he’ll partake in an activity or two.

Telltale Riddler:

- Okay, he’s a boomer, but not a bigot.

- You’ll definitely spend some of the month explaining some of the different orientations and their respective flag colors.

- Edward is honestly impressed to see how far and big Pride has become–

- Given his age he’s likely to remember a time where most stayed in the closet for safety.

- It does please him and bring a smile to his face.

- If he hears of any riots or protests looking to interfere with any Pride activities–he wouldn’t be opposed to taking them out peacefully and quietly.

Young Justice Riddler:

- Wait, what, really? You wanna celebrate with him?

- W-Well, sure! What do you want to do?

- He may be anxious about going to his first Pride festival/parade, but he does end up having a blast especially being with you.

- Will be down to having you face paint his flag on his cheek for the event.

- Eddie will also likely share some facts or insights he’s learned in the past…

- Eddie may take this time to also let you in on some past tribulations he's had to try and find himself…

Arkhamverse Riddler:

- Ugh, sure you do, who wouldn’t want to sit on a genius’--

- No, no, he doesn’t have time for these…primal deviant activities!

- There’s still so much to do; plant trophies, repair riddle bots, get a new henchman–

- Literally anything and everything but the very thing you suggested!

- Ed is genuinely is put off guard–

- But deep down he is surprised and flattered by the inquiry…

Dano/Reevesverse Riddler:

- Y-You want to do what?

- Ed is still getting used to seeing you naked…

- Let alone…having you on top of him…riding his face?

- His face turns beat red…his heart starts pounding.

- Um..maybe give him some time to think it over yeah?

- Although once you bring it up the idea never leaves his mind.

Gotham Riddler:

- If it's the first season Eddie would be gobsmacked by the suggestion but will be willing to please you…

- Just go easy on him, yeah?

- But later seasons Ed, he's more likely to suggest it to you than him…

- But he's absolutely all for it–

- Likely will plan a whole day around it to where it ends up with you riding his face.

- Refuses to let anything get in the way (unless its something absolutely dire…but even then…)

BTAS Riddler:

- Edward_Nygma.exe has stopped working

- Man's cheeks are as red as his hair…

- Ed knew things were going well between you two but…aaahhhh

- It didn't help that you made a point to mention how you'd love to have a seat on his adorable face.

- He isn't deterred by the idea–

- But good God, let him get his bearings

Zero Year/Capullo Riddler:

- GOD he thought you'd never ask!

- Of course you'd want to sit on his face!

- What do you mean it's so he can shut up?

- Well, I mean the fact he talks so much without his jaw hurting should say something…

- Who wouldn't want to sit on the smartest man's–

- Him talking about the suggestion constantly may or may not have been a trick to get you to sit on his face sooner…

- But neither of you care.

Telltale Riddler:

- You probably should have asked him that like…ages ago…

- Not that he doesn't find the idea tempting…

- And while yes, he doesn't have the strength and stamina of a normal man his age…

- Breathing is something he has to consider.

- Ed says no almost immediately, but mentions about appreciating the sentiment..

- But you never know…

Young Justice Riddler:

- Edward.exe has stopped running 2.0

- His entire face is flushed-the mental image immediately consuming his mind.

- He's too busy imagining it to actually respond to you.

- But don't take his silence as a “no”

- Please don't take his heated face, choked out words, and stuttering as a negative–

- Eddie would honestly love nothing more..