i hope i die soon

if i look back, i am lost
Mike Driver
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@rottendogontheroad
i hope i die soon

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my smoking addiction doesn't affect my health because my heart is pure
Sex is great but have you considered hitting me as hard as you can
#working
ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to kill myself

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i’m tired of people assuming that if you want to be hit it automatically has some kind of sexual meaning, i want to be beaten because i don’t want to feel this shame and guilt anymore like when i was a child if i did or said something wrong i got hit.
i want to be punished, not a few slaps but punches hard enough to knock me to the ground and make me lose consciousness.
i want someone to choke me until i’m almost dead and then comfort me afterward but nobody can do that for me so i end up hurting myself instead.
it’s been six months and i still feel the pain in my chest from when you left me
i think i might be crazy
i feel like my life is one cruel joke and god is up there laughing at me, laughing at my stupid decisions and all the things i’ve said, laughing at the way people hurt me, the way they destroy my life and the way i destroy it myself. and i can’t stop, i pray to him for salvation but all i get back is silence.
maybe all of this is just punishment? it’s not only god who’s punishing me, i punish myself too.
my shame runs through my veins and drips onto the cold tile, i feel relief.
tonight i will meet god.

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why do my friends treat the people who caused me so much pain better than they treat me? if someone hurt them i’d have no problem cutting that person out of my life so why can’t they do the same thing? why does that person seem to matter more to them than i do?
i do not know how to speak anymore
you are inside my heart and i can feel you within me
i love you
it hurts to know you’ll never read this my dear, your heart will never feel what mine feels right now
you are inside my heart and i can feel you within me
i love you

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming