Rose

Tumblr is my personal outlet of feelings cuz only like one person actually reads my blog <3

OMFG I JUST REALIZED THAT TUMBLR WORKS NOW. I CAN ADD PICTURES TO POSTS. I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I NEEDED TO SAFE DRAFT THEN POST ON MY LAPTOP ABD WAS LIKE "oh fuck" BUT IT WENT THROUGH.

New art alert!! This one i cant post on my personal insta for.. obvious reasons. But ill post on here bc im proud of it!

I punched a human of mine really hard in the arm today because he started saying "its cause youre dating *insert homie here* huh. Idk it seems weird that you two are around each other so much. Awhh protecting him again" and he very much had to stop himself because i was about ready to punch his lights out on those concrete steps.

Vent 5/25/26

The more i try to get out from having even the smallest inkling of a crush on this dude, the more he accidentally gives me to think about.

I wish i had a dick. Not in a man way but bc WDYM BC I DIDNT PISS AFTER I JORKED IT IM IN PAIN.

The way i overlook shit yet i still notice the tiniest random things is so dumb. Its literally just

Havent been on tumblr in a bit so went to reblog something and save it to my drafts and it just quick reblogged.

Im genderfluid but in the way where if im actuvely trying to present as a different gender and it doesnt work i lowkey get upset. If im dressed femininely (visually larger tits, tight or really pretty shirt, fancy earrings and/or makeup, nails done all nice) and i get called a dude all the happiness about my looks gets sucked out of me. Other way around too. If im visually more masc (tighter sports bra to flatten my chest, baggy clothes, messy hair and darker/ less makeup, nails prolly still done, small black hoops) and im identified as a girly girl and talked down to it pisses me off.

I was asked to punch a friend bc they did something mean and they wanted to have a literal consequence, and apparently i throw a good solid punch when not even trying too hard. I hit a human of mine in the face for first touching my homie, then when she touched me weirdly down my back i reflexively got her between the eyes cause i was thinking she went to walk away. I pinned another human of mine to a doorframe by the nape of his neck because i had sent another to go get us drinks and he had taken mine and went to drink from it without asking me and i was already really hot + dehydrated.

Even though he didnt mean it like that, and even though we're fine, i cant keep the comment from influencing my actions. I let him know ahead of time if im going to leave differently or early so he can leave earlier than me if he wants to. I encourage and remind him to call for a ride sooner than he would be prompted to.

Would you much on this

From one sentence said by a close friend im not back into the feelng of pushing everyone away not because i dont like people but because i feel like a horrible person to the point of i dont want them to deal with me anymore. All i am to the people around me is a nuisance, burden, headache, and a ball and chain that is unneeded besides maybe a form of entertainment or advice center.