Ronan Murphy.

noam: help me. i am two hours into watching mini cooking videos on youtube after singing myself dizzy.

noam: these were terrible choices and yet i regret nothing.

ronan: so what ur saying

ronan: is that u need me to distract you

                           ‘   oh   —  ah   …  well , i was raised like this .   ’     quiet . eyes train over the food he’d made , carefully portioning noodles and broth , vegetables and garnish atop , before setting aside and working side dishes ,     ‘   mitzvah , right ?   …  a kind act . it hurts nobody , benefits many .   —-  if there is one way to live your life , it’s   …  to leave someone , somewhere , better than you found them .    —–   i  ah  …  i really don’t think it’s a bad thing , to be a good person .   ’     once plated , items are transitioned carefully to a tray before anatole moves to present them to ronan , shrugging just a little ,     ‘   tikkun olam .   ’     the tray is gently rested upon the other’s lap , before a hand dips below the collar of his shirt , tugging a chain and lifting his rather simple magen david from it’s hiding ,     ‘   i’m jewish , so …   ’

↳ INSTAGRAM: @RONANFUCKINGMURPHY UPLOADED A PHOTO

round 2...modeling another design i brought to life. idk my pieces lately have been so personal and it felt more...fitting to wear them myself. 

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@levipark: woah

                      he’d  seen  everything  .  idly scrolling his feed while playing awol in the city , building a third threat to the arts world    —-    or rather , following a mother’s command with lyrics that would intrigue rather than express . perhaps they did the latter , however , in their incrimination towards the school that housed him . still , he’d been keeping an eye on what went on here despite his portrayed ignorance   —-   especially concerning ronan . to play friends   (   to be friends , he’d ponder , among all his acting   )   was a dedicated act . and it was one that was portrayed as the door opened to a forlorn ronan .

                      ‘   you  look  terrible  .   ’     it’s stated poorly , but the tone holds a compassion he can’t dispute from genuine , as a hand reaches to coax the other into his doorway to shield them from onlookers ,     ‘   your eyes are all red . blotchy . want a facemask ?   —  c’mon .   ’     he chats , idle , as hands shift to continue their previous plight of fastening the straps on his bindings , rolling shoulders to adjust ,     ‘   sorry    —   i thought you’d take longer . the flat chest ruse is over , huh ?  — pfft . i’ll get you some wine .   ’

RONAN didn’t have many true friends. Not people that he felt he could actually rely on though Danny seemed to be the lone exception in this case. For some reason, he seemed to still stick around without all the glamour and glitter that people expected the lonely being to always produce. HE was tired. Tired of putting on a show whether it’d be to his webcam followers, his clients or the people that referred to themselves as his ‘friends’ for the free drinks and spoiled treatment.

@fingourmet: @rororoyourboat you should be resting.

@rororoyourboat: @fingourmet i can't help it! but yes. im a proper professional

@rororoyourboat: @fingourmet you can rest with me ;)

@fingourmet: if anybody is alright with french-blend cooking made kosher, let me know.

“Yeah I’m hearteyes for the new French being...bite me. Whether or not I’ve moved on from shit is none of your business. Obviously I haven’t.”

                       ‘   that  …  isn’t what i meant . i don’t want to live in a lonely world .   —  i meant , uh  …  sorry . i meant self acceptance is what is important . i meant , if other people don’t   …  or don’t want to understand , you value yourself more so you can move past them . is that   ..   worded better ?     —   some people will never be happy , and moving on from them is what makes most sense for your own happiness . i think that is a good thing to live by .   ’     he rambles idly , pushing his items into his jeans pockets ,     ‘   i don’t think you have to know what you’re doing , especially if you are   …  what did you say ? new ? settling into yourself is important , too . but labels aren’t a requirement . you just told me mine , and i have been fine without one , yes ?   ’

                                 lips purse a little at the sight of the wincing , eyes glancing down to what was seemingly the source of pain    —-   digits graze over the pocket in which he’d stored his phone , and gaze focuses back up to ronan , intent on listening to their words .     ‘   … maybe it is the fact you are injured . like in the movies . life or death situation   —  i’m sure anybody may seem attractive . i’m not sure you’re in the state to be getting anybody naked tonight , ronan .   —-   ambulance , yes ? you seem hurt , and i don’t think you want to be like this when the adrenaline goes away ?   ’

Brows furrow as he can’t help but eye the other in a silent contemplation, brown hues glistening as he listens to every word the other was saying, “Sorry for misunderstanding.” Ronan replies simply, smacking his lips as he truly deciphers what the other stated, “What if...what if you thought you accepted yourself and now you’re realizing that you don’t? What then? Because...I think you’re right...but the journey to self acceptance seems much more...daunting than the journey to public acceptance.” His own insecurities were shining through right now which was rare seeing as this was a side to himself that Ronan never shared. “What if YOU’RE the person who’s never happy? You can’t move away from them...” He laughed bitterly, cheeks heating up as he realized he’d gotten more personal with a stranger than he had with anyone in his life.