evil ryan (self care arc)

I’ll start first: I am actually married. Irl. I have a husband. I know it’s surprising considering the Tumblr spouses, but my husband thinks it’s funny.

@stars-and-sharks @fangirlmenace

@pipatetka-be-cranking @iammentallystable16

and i am doing art and music for gcse

I have a Level 1 qualification in Ballet and I have vasovagal syncope :P

I was also the most calm person in the ER.

I have a desk from my grandmother that is from the 1920s-ish?

One of my ear canals are notably smaller than the other. It makes it harder to clean, and it kinds hurts sometimes, but otherwise it has no effect on my life and I didnt even realize until a few months ago.

I unironically thought undertale took place in hell. I didn't figure that out until at least four years of knowing the game existed, when a friend was speaking about the game and I mentioned that. As it turns out, "the underground" is in fact, just a place underground.

When I was 13 I used to go to the master bedroom and hide my parents' lube. I didn't steal it for myself or anything, I just threw them behind their dresser because I really hated the possibility of getting another sibling and that was the best way I could think of preventing that.

three random facts:

1) i once stole a weed-related product from right behind an empoyees back and i had to go in my tiptoes to reach over a transparent plastic divider to get it. i have never been caught and that might be my riskiest sticky-fingered stunt yet. i keep a mental catalogue of surveillance in stores, on streets, etc. oh and for some reason i tend to sneak up on people unnoticed even though I don't mean to and it seems crazy sometimes -- like I'll be in steel-toed boots and embodying a large sillhouette and regardless only be noticed when I'm within like 3 feet of someone. this is of course an incredibly funny nature to employ for sibling-scaring purposes and trickery.

2) i have known my partner since we were 6 years old, longer than I've known my own sibling. she has seen the absolute worst of me and the best. she has helped me survive innumerable times. and though we have our problems, i am so lucky and glad to have her in my life. she is the only person who can make me laugh with little effort. being in her company makes me feel at home no matter where we are or what we're doing.

3) i have managed to gain around 20lbs give or take within approximately 3 months (though i suspect i am losing some of the weight unfortunately due to stress and the other factors that make it difficult for me to eat properly... I'm hoping I'll correct course on that by mid-July and am looking to gain another 5-10 lbs from my starting weight along with the existing 20lbs i may have lost some of. also my new brand of protein powder is total garbage and i will never get it again, I'm going to go back to the one i liked before hopefully even if it's on the pricier side)

@aro-spectre @asterosian @big-tiddy @imoanurparentsnames @kitsuneprincessspring @little-flame-prince @nebulae-astros-official @nsfwitchy2 @wandering-wolf23

2. I planned the murder of a girl who hurt my bestie when I was in 1st grade with said bestie, we even thought about how to get rid of the evidence {cut the corpse up, burn it in the shady ass peice of land near our houses and launch the remains in a homemade firework}

3. I like to make things that remind me of my friends but I'm usually too scared to show it to them ;-;

My sense of direction is apparently very good (or so I've been told)

I never speak in public, like, at all

I only drink, and only ever will drink water

2.) i accumulate various things that i love inexplicably and they currently include a sloth plushie, a turtle on a necklace, a ring that is plain metal with black flame on the sides (its also like seven or eight years old) a green hoodie/jacket and several other knicknacks

3.) idk im not v interesting but ig i very much like physical affection? or I am actually pretty good at archery?

I really dislike physical contact

I have a rock and marble collection

Tags

I have a bunch of bells tied to my bedroom door so I can hear whenever someone enters my room?

I actually prefer brownies over cookies, my favorite color is a dark royal purple, and I despise pink "girly" things when given to me.

I have aphantaisia

i had a Jamaican accent as a small child

I used to be a HUGE cg5 fan and went to a cg5 concert

i once dressed up as the ENTIRE band tally hall for Halloween

@timmyytoughknuckles @self-proclaimed-fan @engag3d @ronaldist

this post is so long omg but im never resisting the urge to yap about myself

-i have ancestry on every continent except for the arctics + the americas, despite me living in canada rn! my parents were gonna have me in japan, but i was born here cause they thought id have a better time. i guess we'll never know if they were right

-my eyes are a -9 and WORSENING. i also have astigmatism

-i usually get to bed around 5-8am and wake up around 3-8pm, unless i have something the next day and stay up. DONT DO THIS

-i have around 6 eyelid folds on each eye!

-im tongue tied, i have an underbite (in the process of being fixed), and i only have one canine. not that the other one is flat, i literally only have one

-i am under 5ft tall at 22 🥲🥲

-i have the same gastrointestinal disease Corpse has, but i do not have the same raw aura unfortunately LOL. it's a horrible disorder, but i get told i have a cute voice pretty often so bonus!! (it doesn't sound anything like corpse's)

-i had a lipsync tiktok with a few tens of thousands of followers that i haven't posted to in literal ages, so i kinda forgot about until recently, when someone at the club randomly recognized me from it and i literally jumped in fear

-i have a secret art account on here muahahaha (it's not that much of a secret it's so easy to find)

-my safe food is natto!!