Tw for SA

I have no place else to write this and I feel frustrated in myself and in the system that serves to protect itself….! I work in an independent restaurant and I submitted a report about a misogynistic man (bartender) who had allegedly assaulted my coworker (who works in the same restaurant) outside of work.

I supported and encouraged my former coworker into laying a statement to HR about what happened to herself and that she didn’t need to work in discomfort and argue with him during their shared shifts. As it turns out, with more time passing and people involved, she’s suspended and the man is correctly fired. Word got out of this and people were defending him, saying that she conspired with me or manipulated me into changing my statement or forced me into putting one in. Of course, I did not and I relied on the information she gave me of her incident the night it happened at a bar.

I have been harassed and sent into a state of fear initially, avoiding those that were in close contact with the alleged assaulter since I didn’t want to stake my job on a possible fight or argument. After protocols were stalled and unfulfilled after my first harassment case, I brought it to the head of the restaurant. Her reaction was to say that she never knew… but it was confusing to hear her say that I shouldn’t have gotten involved because I’m good and smart. In a way, yes, I shouldn’t have because I wasn’t a direct eyewitness to the incident, but I wanted to support someone who could’ve endured SA. I felt like a child in a way in front of my managers as I was told this. I was told to talk to someone about my crying and frustration at the situation (insinuating therapy) .. that because of this incident that she felt like her employees spat in her face. To her- it felt so personal. This was just something that happened out of her control and she felt offended?

The lines of what is harassment and what can brought into work is unclear to me. People used to be fired for being racist bigots or exposed as sex workers in their social media, but the line is drawn when SA occurs and those people work in the same establishment. The entire incident was just so poorly mishandled. There wasn’t ever harassment training at this restaurant either, maybe at the initial stage of hiring at the HR office, but only now is extra attention being brought to this with a mandatory class.