Wanted to leave this pinned, but add secondary blog info. Ive finally decided its time to share and embrace this side. It's @wannabediaperboy
Life Story/About Me Rant
This is going to be more of a ramble/journal entry type thing than an actual post. If you are interested in reading about why I am who I am and my theories on why I'm infatuated with AB/DL, this is for you.
To add a little context, a little backstory.
My father died when I was 6, my mom stayed at home and did her best to give me a great childhood. About a year later when I was 7 she found a boyfriend that didn't impact my life too much. He wasn't too involved and was more worried about drinking and watching the game after work. Around 13 that relationship ended and thats when my life became very unstable and led to me becoming who I am today. Let me just say my mom gave me a really great childhood and maybe that's why I chase it so much. Anyway... moving on.
I was a heavy, nightly, diapered bedwetter until around 15 or 16 years old. As a little kid I had daytime accidents of both kinds in school, in first grade they were almost daily by 5th they almost were gone. As a kid I always had an obsession with diapers, trying to find any reason to wear one and trying to stash my wet goodnites from the night before to wear in the day. Between the accidents and other things I got bullied in school growing up, you know all the teasing and stuff. Called fat, gay, tranny etc... anything they thought would hurt.. I hated public restrooms and the idea of going #2 there drove me crazy. Even at home I wouldn't want to stop long enough to go. Not sure if I just hated toilets, but I did know I just wanted to keep doing whatever I was doing. I still remember my mom threatening to send me to school wearing goodnites in 1st grade and I remember begging her not to. Now as an adult with the gift of hindsight, I was already getting bullied for all kinds of things, what more would a little bullying about pull-ups be. To this day I wish that would've happened and I believe if it did I would've never gotten out of them. I remember being little and dreaming of wearing diapers 24/7 and being Sailor Moon. Logically I knew I wasn't supposed to be in diapers like that but I still wanted it. They made me feel safe, comforted, happy. I looked forward to wearing my goodnites, and I loved waking up knowing I was wet. It wasn't perfect, I was still embarrassed by it and there were times I wish I didn't wet the bed but overall I didn't see anything wrong with it and for the most part didn't want to stop. Around 13 I discovered what abdl was and not in a safe way, won't get into that. No minors in kink is how it should be.
When my mom split from her boyfriend we went into several unstable living conditions and by 16 I was working to just to help keep the lights on. Around this time is when my diaper fetish was growing and I discovered I was a little. At this pivotal point in my life, as time went on found myself becoming an adult and doing more of the providing for myself and my mother, especially when she became disabled around my 21st birthday. For year I was the sole income and struggled with depression and shame and guilt surrounding my fetish. Anyway here we are, a more stable environment. If you made it through my life story,,congrats.
***Probably what you came for ***
Now, for years I've had the dream/goal of wearing 24/7 and even toyed with the idea of trying to unpotty train myself. I've had a few attempts not lasting longer than a month or so. I've always been kinda shy and afraid of getting outed and what others might think. I'd also like not to do the journey alone. I'm not looking for someone to fix me or make me do anything but I'd love a partner who accepts me for who I am and pushes for me to accept my fetish and supports me instead of being alone and tearing myself down due to feelings of guilt and shame of being into this kink. I haven't given up on wearing more often, up to and including 24/7. And I'm trying harder to make friends in the community and maybe even find my partner/cg/little or whatever that relationship may entail. I think I've finally hit that place in my life where I'm ready to try to embrace who I am and find some like minded people. So please shoot a message if you're interested. Thanks to anyone who made it this far. I may end up posting this bit separately.
