Peace Be Upon You

‎“Meeting Allah with seventy sins restricted to yourself is easier than meeting Allah with one sin that is spread across you and the people.”

So I made a conscious decision to always frame that positively. Going to the thrift store is awesome because it's like a shopping spree every time, Mama will say yes to nearly anything, which is clearly superior to going to Target and being permitted one cute t-shirt and some socks. Hand me downs are even better because they have a history with people you love. And passing stuff down yourself is maybe the best of all, because then you get to see little cuties wearing things you once enjoyed, and enjoy them all over again.

And that attitude has really taken root in the family and been a very positive thing. I love that my computer is made up of new parts but also hand me downs from not one but two different people, carefully crafted into a whole that's much more than would have been reasonable to spend otherwise. The used parts are still really good, because they came from people who really prioritize their equipment, so they went from "good" to "top of the line" but they knew that "good" was still way better than I had. And the fact that three people collaborated to make something that would suit my needs and optimized their money makes me feel loved by smart people.

@staff I sent this to you in a fanmail. But I want make sure you see it. I want to know that you see that you’re hurting people.

“Fifty shades of grey is not bdsm. Fifty shades of grey is glorified rape. In bdsm, rules apply. Always. Safeworss ALWAYS apply. Christian Grey is not a dominant. Christian Grey is a rapist. He stalks her. He ignores her rules. He forces her to do things she does not want to do. Do you know how many victims you are hurting by forcing this ad on them? Do you know how many children are seeing this ad? How can you be okay with forcing people to see something that they CLEARLY are uncomfortable seeing? How would you feel if you had been stalked? How would you feel if you had been violated and torn apart? How would you feel if you created a safe space for yourself on this site. You’re fifteen, you have found somewhere that people understand. You’ve found somewhere where it doesn’t hurt to breathe. And then, a movie comes out, glorifying your trauma. Glorifying the monster under your head and turning it into a sex icon. How do you feel? Do you feel turned on? Do you feel validated? No. You feel violated. You feel the pain of your trauma all over again. And then you realise that you can’t even make the ad go away. Once again, your right to say no is taken away. You’re told to suck it up. You’re told that what happened to you is sexy. You’re told that people get off on it. You’re told, again and again, that you don’t matter. Your abuser? He’s just a dominant. You don’t like what happened? You just weren’t good enough. You should like what happened to you.

How the hell are you okay with this? How the hell are you okay with teaching children that men decide when rules do and do not apply? How the hell are you okay with turning a safe space into a nightmare? How the hell are you okay with glorifying literal rape?

You do not have the right to remove people’s right to say no. You do not have the right to continue to traumatise people just because you want to turn a profit. You do not have the right to force people to see that disgusting piece of garbage. You do not have the right to hurt people. Display ads that are PG, go ahead. I don’t care if I have to skip an ad every thirty posts. I don’t care. I care that my safe space has been turned into a shrine to a rapist. I care that you are hurting people.

And it’s not like you don’t know. You turned off the comments on the post because people were calling you out. You know what you are doing is wrong. You know that what you’re doing is hurting people. It’s hurting real fucking people and you don’t give a shit. Because all you want to do is turn a profit.

Listen to the Tumblr users. Stop looking out for your own asses for a second, and look at the people that you’re supposed to be catering to.

Stop hurting people. Stop teaching people that they don’t have the right to say no. Stop telling people their trauma and discomfort is unimportant.

The 50 Shades series is horrific and does nothing but promote rape culture – the culture that gave my SO the mindset that it was okay to rape me. The culture that allows him and others around him to think to this day that he did nothing wrong, that I’m crazy. The culture that made me feel at the time that I was the crazy one for not being okay with what was happening, because sex was his right; he was just being a dominant. The culture that makes me feel like I can’t tell a goddamn soul that my then-boyfriend raped me, because one of the first people I told – a close friend who had herself been sexually assaulted in the past – said, “No, that wasn’t rape.“

That is the culture that 50 Shades encourages. By advertising it on your website, you are encouraging people to see rape as okay, because “people get off on it.” You are promoting a culture that shatters lives and destroys innocence. 

Rape is not okay. 

Making a profit off of glorified rape is not okay. 

Stop.