j𝔞𝔠k☕︎

Don’t spoil the odyssey? Brother you’ve had 3000 years to read it

This person literally has me changing my damn SOCKS before we go on our date, damn

I hate when I go to the store looking for something that I made up in my head and they don’t have it, like be so fr

I’m trying to be a moving target but holy hell is depression a good shot

Btw I am actually an ordained minister now so if yall want me to forgive your sins or whatever just lmk !

I am going to become insufferable (for fun!!!)

I carry the cursed artifact around with me btw

Sometimes I get so fucking turned on by something very mundane and I feel insane

A random kid came up to me today with her dad and said “did you know that you can make babies by getting married?” I laughed and was like “yeah, I did know that!” Her dad looked so embarrassed, it was hilarious

They should invent a hindsight that takes place immediately

Finished my job interview at the law firm. You know what I’m gonna do now? Play Pokemon

I let them show me their nerdy interest last night for 2.5 hours. I sat there listening very intently, asking every question I could. I think they were pleased