j𝔞𝔠k☕︎ @rockstar-vamp - Tumblr Blog

the official spam of @academic-vampire

my blogs (yes ik I have a lot):

#mine #help #what #gay #uni #love #cute #funny #uni student #reblog #me #sleep #exam #vampire #wtf #ask #random #dog #emo #lovers #art #self reblog #lover #book #anon #books #work

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I’m trying to be a moving target but holy hell is depression a good shot

#mine #help #what #random #moving target #depression #mental health #I’m chill just ranting

rockstar-vamp

Btw I am actually an ordained minister now so if yall want me to forgive your sins or whatever just lmk !

rockstar-vamp

I’m keeping a copy of my license in my wallet from now on so I can just forgive people and also make people get married

#self reblog #ordained #ordained minister

Btw I am actually an ordained minister now so if yall want me to forgive your sins or whatever just lmk !

#peace be with you #HAHAHA #I’m not even kidding #talk about a #side quest #mine #help #what #ordained #ordained minister #religion is a joke #sin #sins

I am going to become insufferable (for fun!!!)

#mine #help #what #funny #random #insufferable #no context #life

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Tmi, kinda funny:

Went to a late brunch. Did a relaxing workout. Got home. Used my camera to take dirty photos of one another. Had sex. Then ate chocolate pudding.

Dionysus taught me everything I know

#mine #help #what #funny #love #lover #lovers #mdni #18+#Dionysus #Greek #Greek gods #hellenic polytheism #hellenic polythiest #K #brunch #workout #chocolate #hedonism #hedonist #tmi

I carry the cursed artifact around with me btw

#mine #help #what #cursed #cursed artifact #random #funny

Sometimes I get so fucking turned on by something very mundane and I feel insane

#mine #help #what #turned on #funny #random #it usually has to do with how people say something #but also what they do #idk man #it’s wild #love #lover #lovers #18+#mdni

A random kid came up to me today with her dad and said “did you know that you can make babies by getting married?” I laughed and was like “yeah, I did know that!” Her dad looked so embarrassed, it was hilarious

#mine #help #what #can’t event make this shit up #I was bewildered #funny

They should invent a hindsight that takes place immediately

#mine #help #what #funny #lately parts of my past have been falling into place #and it’s making so much sense #why things happened #of course #it all depends on #how I’m viewing it #because humans are narrative creatures #in logically reality it doesn’t make sense #but my narrative human brain is like yep that all lines up #anyway #it’s cute #and nice #hindsight #random #life

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Me: *transfers lots of money to my savings*

Me, later: WAIT WHERE DID ALL MY MONEY GO

#I got so scared #mine #help #what #dumb #i’m a dumbass #money #bank #funny

Finished my job interview at the law firm. You know what I’m gonna do now? Play Pokemon

#it’ll help me relax #I was so stressed #wearing my goofy ass suit #there were more people there than I expected #mine #help #what #job #law firm #work #interview

I let them show me their nerdy interest last night for 2.5 hours. I sat there listening very intently, asking every question I could. I think they were pleased

#it was so cute and funny #mine #help #what #K #love #lover #lovers #funny #special interest #nerd #nerdy

I’m gonna throw up (I have an interview with a law firm next week)

#mine #help #what #job #wow #idk what’s gonna happen #but I’m hopeful #and if nothing happens #now I know what to apply for

iwilleatyourenglish

a great tragedy of this world is that many things that are bad for you also look very sexy. smoking. riding a motorcycle. that crazy shit they did to saint sebastian

rockstar-vamp

There is a Saint Sebastian painting at my local museum and I love it so much that I bought a print. It’s fantastic

#reblog #art #cigarettes #motorcycle #saint sebastian #funny #random #tragedy #help #what #mine

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I have a love/hate relationship with coffee, because on the one hand it’s tasty and amazing and I love it, and on the other hand, I’m gonna shit my pants

#mine #help #what #ahahahah #coffee #coffee addict #espresso #funny #random

Quitting my job to focus on yearning

#mine #help #what #job #work #yearn #yearning hours #yearnposting #yearning #funny #satire #I’m not actually quitting either of my jobs #but I wish

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