My Honor is Loyalty

Tucking his scarf into his jacket, he paused in his wanderings to glance back toward the Soldier and turned to face him with a faint smile. “A feather?” He plucked it from the other’s fingers to look it over then chuckled softly. 

“If I am to be honest, I was never truly fond of birds.” Or animals at all, to be precise. Still, he tucked the colorful feather into the breast pocket of his jacket before digging out his gloves. 

When the conversation went on about teleportation he huffed a bit. Sure it saves a lot of time, and is very efficient. But sometime he wished they didn’t have those things. Not only it made his guts turn upside down, but it also took away from the pleasure of actually physically traveling somewhere. Maybe it was just him, being old fashioned and liking the casual drive. Or maybe it was simply the fact the doctor didn’t like wasting time in such a matter… which, was really not a waste of time.  There was much to see and witness. 

“Do you have any new year’s resolutions?” The question was completely out of the blue, yet it had been something that was on his mind for a few days now. It was tradition, and something he tended to participate in. Did he succeed in upholding them? Well, that was another matter all together.

“Suppose it’d be the same as always” he set the cup down and relax in his sit. “Either die in a battle I simply cannot win, but still try to” out of resawpn range of course “And prove myself the best soldier around” He cackled. Of course there was a little more to that. But that would be discussion for a more convenient time. 

He sighed, a heavy, tired and even somewhat frustrated sigh when the doctor decided to avert the conversation into a different direction, causing the soldier to doubt his stay. It seemed like he was not going to get the answers he wanted. It was that simple,a yes or a no. But maybe it was just simple for him because all he knew was simplicity. And that is all that separated him from normal folks. 

“Not hungry” he replied, his voice just barely above a whisper. He didn’t touch the champagne. Didn’t feel like drinking either. Not in company anyway. New year’s was just … not right. It never was. And when he’d try to reflect upon all the others, they were just more bad memories. Recent ones are even painful. A thought that never bothered him until now. 

“I do not know how you want me to answer, Emmerich.” Lowering his hand he rested the bottom of the glass against his thigh and absently nudged his glasses back up the bridge of his nose with a light touch of his fingertip. “You asked if we knew each other before and I do not think we have. You ask if I remember a commander and his bodyguard, which leads me to believe you were either one or the other and, again, I do not remember. You are not familiar to me what so ever.” Finding little to no interest in his drink, he leaned forward and set it down.

“There is plenty I do not recall, and it is likely best that way.” As he leaned back, he tucked his finger into the knot of his tie, loosening it slightly. The air was beginning to feel a little stifling. “We both did what we had to do and it is in the past, mm?” Exhaling a slow sigh, he dropped his arm back to his stomach and set the other along the back of the couch in an attempt to remain relaxed despite the vaguely closed off body language he displayed. While he didn’t want to speak of anything he might recall, he had attempted to answer to the best of his ability.

Or it could be a flat lie for all he knew. Working with his commander, he learned very well that most people told lies. But either way it did not matter. Hans clearly did not have any answers for him and that was fine as well. 

“I suppose that proves the fact that you don’t know me at all then” he chuckled at the man’s last comment. “And I suppose that is also for the best, all things considered”. Whether he didn’t want to stay there or at the base. It felt like both were the answer. For some reason he was feeling at an odds with himself lately. And very much alone. Though going face first into danger is what Emmerich was good at. What made him who he is, and serve who he did. Fearless obedience. Or complete idiocy and lunacy by some definition. 

“Should we, is an interesting question” he replied, “But do we, is a whole different one” he looked towards the far window and thought. “Would you happen to have a certain cocky commander and his bodyguard soldier in your memory?” If not, that would be a relief. But if he did, well, then things would be very complicated.

“I knew plenty of cocky commanders and their body guards. I was one of the physicians in the camp and they came to the ward numerous times to ensure I was not hiding away scalpels or anything of the like.” If only it was as cut and dry as he made it sound. As if he had chosen to do the work he had to do. There was no choice in it at all other than to sneak in a merciful death now and then at the risk of being starved or beaten for his insubordination if he was caught.

“Are you hungry? It is not much but there is a platter in the refrigerator. I managed to hide it long enough to be enjoyed tonight.” Drumming an index finger against the glass, he turned his head to look toward the window. Just outside the blizzard continued to rage on. “I had expected a few more would linger around but that is fine. That leaves more for us, mm?”

He sighed, a heavy, tired and even somewhat frustrated sigh when the doctor decided to avert the conversation into a different direction, causing the soldier to doubt his stay. It seemed like he was not going to get the answers he wanted. It was that simple,a yes or a no. But maybe it was just simple for him because all he knew was simplicity. And that is all that separated him from normal folks. 

“Not hungry” he replied, his voice just barely above a whisper. He didn’t touch the champagne. Didn’t feel like drinking either. Not in company anyway. New year’s was just ... not right. It never was. And when he’d try to reflect upon all the others, they were just more bad memories. Recent ones are even painful. A thought that never bothered him until now. 

Tucking his scarf into his jacket, he paused in his wanderings to glance back toward the Soldier and turned to face him with a faint smile. “A feather?” He plucked it from the other’s fingers to look it over then chuckled softly. 

“If I am to be honest, I was never truly fond of birds.” Or animals at all, to be precise. Still, he tucked the colorful feather into the breast pocket of his jacket before digging out his gloves. 

Finally there, the soldier carefully handed Hans his cup and as soon as he took it, he sat down, leaning against the back of the couch and sighing in relief. His back was hurting for some reason, so the bit of rest now was much appreciated. 

“I am looking forward to the drive. Mm..for the most part. I would drive up there the both times though I am not too keen about being on the road for too long, especially in inclement weather.  Using the teleporter for such a short trip seems to be the best idea.” After warming his hands he finally lifted the mug to his lips for a sip then leaned forward to sit it down upon the table.

When the conversation went on about teleportation he huffed a bit. Sure it saves a lot of time, and is very efficient. But sometime he wished they didn’t have those things. Not only it made his guts turn upside down, but it also took away from the pleasure of actually physically traveling somewhere. Maybe it was just him, being old fashioned and liking the casual drive. Or maybe it was simply the fact the doctor didn’t like wasting time in such a matter... which, was really not a waste of time.  There was much to see and witness. 

“I suppose I am not entirely sure about what I’m supposed to feel”. Truth was, however, he felt nothing. Much like he was taught to. And it bothered him. “I have a feeling my past is finally coming to bite me in the ass. And even though usually I’d welcome something like that, right now, I’m not entirely sure what I’d do” that was awfully going around the point though. 

Despite the man disliking cigarettes, the soldier reached for his pocket and produced his pack, picking one out and sticking it between his lips. It used the moment to consider his words while lighting it and finally inhaling. Somehow that stuff always managed to calm his nerves to a certain portion, allowing him to refocus his gaze on the doctor again.

Instead of answering immediately, he studied the Soldier’s face, truly studied it and yet he couldn’t find a twinge of familiarity beyond what he knew of him in the past year or so. He shook his head softly and pushed to a stand to make his way over to the bottle he had been regarding earlier.

“Should we, is an interesting question” he replied, “But do we, is a whole different one” he looked towards the far window and thought. “Would you happen to have a certain cocky commander and his bodyguard soldier in your memory?” If not, that would be a relief. But if he did, well, then things would be very complicated.

Tucking his scarf into his jacket, he paused in his wanderings to glance back toward the Soldier and turned to face him with a faint smile. “A feather?” He plucked it from the other’s fingers to look it over then chuckled softly. 

“If I am to be honest, I was never truly fond of birds.” Or animals at all, to be precise. Still, he tucked the colorful feather into the breast pocket of his jacket before digging out his gloves. 

“Sounds like a plan” he replied a little more dully now. Using the teleporation meant he preferred to probably go alone. Which canceled out the idea of having a few good days off and a long drive. Ah well, not everyone shared his love for the road and the short while of freedom he got in the process. 

“That might be asking too much of you, Soldier. Truth be told, I might be better off getting rid of some things in my quarters to make room. I cannot say that I need some of the items we were issued. Other things can be put in the Engineers’ workshop.” A decision he wasn’t sure about. They could tamper with his things, trying to add their own ideas. If he had a locker, though…He shook his head, deciding that he would figure it out another time.

Finally there, the soldier carefully handed Hans his cup and as soon as he took it, he sat down, leaning against the back of the couch and sighing in relief. His back was hurting for some reason, so the bit of rest now was much appreciated. 

Whatever it was that kept nagging in his mind though, Emmerich was not going to let it linger, instead turning back to the gate in order to open it and get moving. But the more he looked at it, the more he found himself rethinking. The offer of hot coffee was certainly appealing, all things considered. 

When the Soldier sat, looking just as pensive as he was in the garage, he studied him in silence, taking in what he could of his face. Something definitely troubled the man. If it were any more obvious he might as well be speaking what was on his mind. Hans took another sip, indulging himself with the bitter taste of the coffee before he finally decided to say something.

“I suppose I am not entirely sure about what I’m supposed to feel”. Truth was, however, he felt nothing. Much like he was taught to. And it bothered him. “I have a feeling my past is finally coming to bite me in the ass. And even though usually I’d welcome something like that, right now, I’m not entirely sure what I’d do” that was awfully going around the point though. 

Despite the man disliking cigarettes, the soldier reached for his pocket and produced his pack, picking one out and sticking it between his lips. It used the moment to consider his words while lighting it and finally inhaling. Somehow that stuff always managed to calm his nerves to a certain portion, allowing him to refocus his gaze on the doctor again.

Tucking his scarf into his jacket, he paused in his wanderings to glance back toward the Soldier and turned to face him with a faint smile. “A feather?” He plucked it from the other’s fingers to look it over then chuckled softly. 

“If I am to be honest, I was never truly fond of birds.” Or animals at all, to be precise. Still, he tucked the colorful feather into the breast pocket of his jacket before digging out his gloves. 

However it couldn’t be said that he was particularly fond of the other sex. If anything, he’d preferred the company of men and leave the women out of it. Perhaps it was the deeply seeded ideology he so carelessly served that has gotten to him despite claiming the opposite. One could never know.

The words seemed straight forward a little too clinical, but that was with everything he said. They were genuine, if not a little warm when connected to the smile that settled upon his lips. Short-lived as usual, but there nonetheless. “I think I might go sometime after the thrill of the new year has passed. Maybe in the middle of the night so I won’t disturb anyone. I can have one of the Engineers connect the teleporter to Nucleus.” Something that should be easy considering that one had borrowed from the other a few times.

“Sounds like a plan” he replied a little more dully now. Using the teleporation meant he preferred to probably go alone. Which canceled out the idea of having a few good days off and a long drive. Ah well, not everyone shared his love for the road and the short while of freedom he got in the process. 

He paused however and looked at the character. Knew who it was before even doing so. Though unlike his usual self, he did not reply. There was plenty to be said, yet nothing all the same. Despite that, he did not leave the doctor waiting for a reply and simply shook his head before mounting the bike. He then gave it a proper kick and it roared once and again until it was on and ready to go.

Emmerich sat there for a long moment however, his stoic expression never betraying the long list of confusing emotions that were running through his mind for a long while now. There was simply no way for him to ever put it all into words. Better yet, this was not the person to be explaining it all to. Not if his memory served him right because the resemblance was too striking to doubt. And still, he didn’t know if he should at least bid a proper farewell. The soldier was never good at those either. Though it would be the first time it would be him to say it, rather than the other party.

“I do not think it would be too wise to go out there right now, Soldier. It will be very dangerous. I would at least wait until the storm dies down.” Far be it for him to suggest that he remained inside for the entirety of the night. The other was leaving for a reason while he was going to remain in the base to ring in the New Year. There was no real need for him to go any where else; he disliked parties, he wasn’t much of a drinker, and preferred something relaxing compared to the usual festivities that some people held.

Whatever it was that kept nagging in his mind though, Emmerich was not going to let it linger, instead turning back to the gate in order to open it and get moving. But the more he looked at it, the more he found himself rethinking. The offer of hot coffee was certainly appealing, all things considered. 

Tucking his scarf into his jacket, he paused in his wanderings to glance back toward the Soldier and turned to face him with a faint smile. “A feather?” He plucked it from the other’s fingers to look it over then chuckled softly. 

“If I am to be honest, I was never truly fond of birds.” Or animals at all, to be precise. Still, he tucked the colorful feather into the breast pocket of his jacket before digging out his gloves. 

“I suppose it’s an idea” he finally replied once the two entered the REC room. He went to make himself comfortable on one of the couches while the Doc went ahead to prepare some coffee. It was a good idea. And most importantly, it was purely business, nothing more. Go to a place, pack some stuff, and bring it back. And seeing as how far apart the bases were, he could call it a field trip. Some fresh air, other than the snowy mountains for the both of them. 

“I am partly concerned about her. She has an incredible right hook.” Amusement touched the corners of his mouth, an expression that was short lived. Pushing away from the counter he crossed over to the couches and lowered upon one of them before tugging at his scarf. Now that he was inside, surrounded by the comfortable warmth of the room, the scarf and even the jacket were unnecessary. He drew it free and set it aside.

However it couldn’t be said that he was particularly fond of the other sex. If anything, he’d preferred the company of men and leave the women out of it. Perhaps it was the deeply seeded ideology he so carelessly served that has gotten to him despite claiming the opposite. One could never know.

Tucking his scarf into his jacket, he paused in his wanderings to glance back toward the Soldier and turned to face him with a faint smile. “A feather?” He plucked it from the other’s fingers to look it over then chuckled softly. 

“If I am to be honest, I was never truly fond of birds.” Or animals at all, to be precise. Still, he tucked the colorful feather into the breast pocket of his jacket before digging out his gloves. 

He then followed Hans, matching his pace and staying well beside him while his mind wondered. “I suppose you were planning to visit your old place?” He asked before they finally came to a stop in front of the base door and opened it, holding it far enough for Hans to walk in first before Emmerich would follow. “I mean, if you miss her, I could give you a list and come with you… you know, in case things go down south” he offered genuinely while offering the medic a quick glance. “Or if you just want to get far away from here, we could do that as well. I mean, I don’t mind the drive, or the vacation” he smiled “Lord knows all we see is snow these days.”.

“Getting away does sound like a good idea. Perhaps, if you like, you can come along and thaw your bones out while I make a few quick trips.” Kneading at his hands, he finally drew the scarf down, letting the warmth of the base blanket his nose rather than the slightly chilled material. He sniffed once, already feeling like it was slightly running even though it wasn’t. The joys of going from cold to warm. Wandering into the room, he immediately made his way over to the coffee maker. Bless who ever thought to put one there. It was better than wandering all the way to the kitchen.

“I suppose it’s an idea” he finally replied once the two entered the REC room. He went to make himself comfortable on one of the couches while the Doc went ahead to prepare some coffee. It was a good idea. And most importantly, it was purely business, nothing more. Go to a place, pack some stuff, and bring it back. And seeing as how far apart the bases were, he could call it a field trip. Some fresh air, other than the snowy mountains for the both of them. 

“The same as every other year” was all the soldier muttered to himself while getting himself ready and dressed well enough to leave through the quickly picking up blizzard. He’d made plans of course, rather grandiose ones too; only to shove them aside and disappear down town until all this was over.

It was rather ironic, the slow realization of just where he stood and how things may have turned out if he’d made the wrong move or said the wrong things. That same slow realization that there was something nagging at the back of his head and desperately attempting to wake him up from his little fantasy.

He could truly go into a new year fresh and make a whole new start here even though he had been at the base for a few months now.

He had combed back his hair, tying it as best he could—it wasn’t long enough for a pony tail yet and probably looked ridiculous—and shaved which made him feel a hundred times better, if not cleaner. Not all of the hair had gone, just enough where the goatee didn’t look like rat’s nest. He was actually dressed casually tonight, if one wanted to call a jumper and a pressed pair of slacks ‘casual’. The recreation room was warm in both temperature and environment; the fireplace was crackling, barely heard over the soft sound of the music coming from the radio.

He was setting up a chess table when he noticed a shadow passing the doorway and lifted a brow. Most of the base was already gone, likely celebrating down town. As far as he knew, no one else was around, or at least sleeping away an early celebration. Peeking out of the room and toward the closing garage door, he glanced to the window and the horrible blizzard just beyond it, then moved to follow the same path to not only see who was leaving, but to warn them that it definitely wasn’t safe.

He paused however and looked at the character. Knew who it was before even doing so. Though unlike his usual self, he did not reply. There was plenty to be said, yet nothing all the same. Despite that, he did not leave the doctor waiting for a reply and simply shook his head before mounting the bike. He then gave it a proper kick and it roared once and again until it was on and ready to go.

Emmerich sat there for a long moment however, his stoic expression never betraying the long list of confusing emotions that were running through his mind for a long while now. There was simply no way for him to ever put it all into words. Better yet, this was not the person to be explaining it all to. Not if his memory served him right because the resemblance was too striking to doubt. And still, he didn’t know if he should at least bid a proper farewell. The soldier was never good at those either. Though it would be the first time it would be him to say it, rather than the other party.