they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

i'm a normal bloke. i live on a planet, i eat organic matter. and i infect any astronauts who touch me.

This is your captain speaking and yeah we’re not landing. I just feel like we’ve got a really good thing up here and I don’t want to ruin it. This is my home and you are my people

We never have to go back

I am an unreliable narrator only as a result of being stupid as shit.

sometimes i kill myself but im fine in the morning

horror movie showing a child’s drawing of the monster or ghost or whatever but instead of a little kid and crayons they’re like a preteen and it’s manga style

Why isn't "too scary" a good enough reason to never drive a car

Bon giorno it is 10 am for the beutiful fashionistas of italia right now perfect time for a brunch with handsome loved onws

pjackk its 2 in the morning on a friday the fashionistas are asleep and/or drunk

Can i just have a win for the first time in my entire life

fuck its Already like 100 am

"dont smoke around your pets" okay well i dont even smoke im asthmatic. my dog smokes bc she needs to fucking chill sometimes and Yeah i light them for her Obviously bc she cant use a lighter. i dont get anyrhing out of this arrangment and i resent the implication. in fact shes giving ME secondhand smoke. so my question is why are you so hateful and jugemental and acting like an asshole to me making presumptions and shit about my life.

What. What. What. What.

im gonna pop some.tag