Crows&robins7

I see a little boy, big brown eyes,

Hungrily staring at the world

The world stares back.

His mother wails, powerless

She's hungry too, her breasts empty

The world is silent.

A drop of rain, a piece of bread,

Ashes, dust, twisted metal

One piece of land in this huge world.

Oh Gaza! you cannot rest

Sacrificed as you are,

Drowning in the blood of history

A little boy, now skin and bone

Israel, he is not guilty! is his mother?

Waiting in despair in yet another queue,

When will it end?

When will it end?

I still smell the wild garlic

Mother natures carpet in the forest,

The musty smell of wild mushrooms

Still damp from the morning rain.

Stinging nettles, the gardeners foe

At home in the forest, six feet tall,

Noisy chatter of the birds

A Squirrel, inquisitive, yet cautious.

Oh Squirrel, don't be scared of me

I watch you scamper up trees

I wish I could join you.

Escape from life stresses,

Watch sunlight fall through branches

Warming the ground underfoot,

Forest beauty unsullied by man

Trees shield me from raindrops.

Part of my soul remains in that forest

My inner child yearns to return

Lay my body to the ground

Melt into soil like fallen leaves.

My broken heart remains unsettled,

My spirit tires, seeking sense of senseless

What did I ever do?

To deserve this journey.......

Where do we start?

At the beginning

What do we become?

There is the story.

Nature or nurture?

Will we ever know.

A sullen child, eyes averted,

The world is frightening,

Angry child, eyes wide,

Fighting the future already.

Oh to be loved, wanted,

Yet we can overcome.

Hey! Roots that were once starved,

Withered, rotting away,

Weak, no visible shoots,

Yet a little bit of light, invisible,

A flickering candle,

Inextinguishable in the breeze.

Promise me, always

Please don't give up,

Forgive, let go, move on,

Roots can flourish in the sunshine.

Laughter is water, reflection,

Nourishment to deaden the hurt. 

I dare you to......

Shout the world bubbles out loud!

Bet you smile!

I like my bubble

Safe, dreamy, totally crazy.

Who is in your bubble?

Truly, in your dreams?

Mother nature makes bubbles

In crystal clear water, in the air,

Red lava bubbles in a volcano

Like a woman, possessed.

I watch children, giggling, blowing bubbles

Watching them grow, disappear, POP!

Gone, just like childhood. Never seen again.

Bubbles rising in a glass of champagne 

Let's toast the bride and groom.

One day she'll drink prosecco with friend's

Regrets, what has she done?

Desiring to feel light as an air bubble

Float away, carefree in the sky

Feel dreamy, peaceful once more. 

In my mother's bubble I drowned

Lost, I fought for the elusive surface,

Wishing to be somewhere else.

A warm, milky, cosy, mummy bubble.

Now my little cauldron of healing bubbles

With hope and mystery

A bubble of my choice.

Bubbles are perfect circles

No beginning, no end.

Some float into the clouds

To become rainbows.

We need those bubbles of love

Pop those bubbles of hate, shame 

Bubbles are fragile, just like happiness..

A heavy mist swirls in the dark

Many layers intertwined

Long icy fingers in black lace

A trauma that blinds.

In the mist a waif stirs 

She's hungry, lonely, lost

Sore on her lip, where ogres kissed

Eyes forever closed as they mocked.

A deep yearning for sunshine 

Warm rays to break up the mist

Layers to evaporate, a little light

Trauma startles, blinded at last.

We see shadows of our past,

Mist among the rays

A constant daily battle

Over only at our last breath.

The waif? She grew up

No longer hungry, alone

Her fingers brush away

Mist, darkness, she captures the sun

With blue eyes open, always 

She stares trauma deep in its eyes

It shrinks back, Oh how she mocks. 

We always remember the beginning

We ponder the little details

We live, we love, we smile,

We cry, we rage, we hope.

I love the sound of water trickling

I do not like my tears

I love waves crashing into the shore

I do not like my anger.

I hear birds singing in the sun

I wish I could sing

I watch my vines grow

Yet patience eludes me.

I sit, drink red wine with friends,

Dreaming of another me,

We all have a plan for life, Yet,

Often life has a different plan for us. 

I wonder what he's doing now

I wonder what he's saying

I wonder if he's smiling

I wonder if he's sad

I wonder if he ever thinks of me

I wish I could turn back the years

I wish he wasn't so interesting

I wish I'd known I was good enough

I wish he didn't make me smile

I wish I did not love him

I think our paths were meant to cross

I think I would've made him happy

I think it will forever hurt

I think he finally understands.

For me it is all so painful to bear....

There's a big monster out there

I really wish I did not care,

It's huge, encompassing.

Go away I want to shout,

This monster is called self doubt

Am I good enough, was I right?

Constant battle I have to fight,

Mocking, relentless, unfair.

Creeps like a shadow, eyes like coal,

Staring straight into your soul.

Decisions, decisions, be brave

Trust myself? Confidence I crave,

Strength is hidden somewhere.

Eyes wary, I wait to be told,

Really, I must try to be bold.

If you think trees are blind

You are being very unkind,

Trees are the roots of our history

Full of stories, full of mystery.

They listen, watch, do not speak

Do they smile if you take a peek?

I think of Isaac Newton, the apple

Gravitational theory, all before chapel.

Churchill musing under a tree

Cigar held, how can brits be free?

Will we lose? Will we win?

WW II, such suffering a sin.

Trees have branches, leaves, some fruit

Mother Nature, so very astute .

Trees hide, will guide, never go away,

Listen attentively to all you say.

I really should let go of many things

Shadows that appear in nightmares,

The man with grey eyes.

I lay watching the ghosts of my fears dance,

A memory of another time, little me

The never ending nightmare.

They made sure it endured.

Now they think they can appear

Take my things, destroy my healing,

Burn my poems: I am enraged.

As I walk through nightmares now,

I procrastinate, Oh I struggle.

Finally I start to dream instead

Am I living? Where have they gone?

The ghosts? They are dust.

I see the man with grey eyes

I dream we are holding hands,

We are dancing in circles in the dark,

I am happy, I am smiling,

A sparrow holds a tiny white feather

He watches my every move

I sit watching him, we are close,

Off he goes, I wonder where.

Is he my guardian angel?

Have faith, don't finally surrender?

My guardian angel has gone forever,

Was he ever truly there?

We see what we want to see,

We delude, we hope, we love.

I have lost him, where is he?

He will never come back.

I am alone, my spirit fades.

He gave me such energy,

Strength to face adversity

Now I stumble along my journey,

Trip over rocks once avoided,

My heart is cold, my chest heavy.

My eyes look down, I shrug

No need to fear, Spring is here

Nature awakens from her winter sleep

She stretches, smiles, rubs her eyes

Birdsong echoes everywhere,

Hungry mouths waiting in the nest.

Tiny buds appear on trees

Warmth in the breeze at last.

Daffodils and bluebells in the woods,

I watch a Mama and her ducklings

Floating along a brook together

Squirrel watches them from above

I hope he does not fall.

Soon the darling buds of May will blossom

How can one not feel some hope?

Close your eyes,

Imagine a field full of Sunflowers,

Majestic heads nodding in the breeze

A carpet of yellow, gold and orange.

It's impossible to capture their magic,

Smiling faces raised towards the sun.

At sunset, see their heads  bowed,

Reflecting the worlds suffering.

At death their seeds give life,

Nourishment for birds, for us.

Ukraine, your sunflowers are sad,

Watching your people flee to safety,

Their hearts broken, their spirit not

Your flag billows in the breeze.

Looking towards the light, driving them on

One day they will return

Their country reclaimed,

The sunflowers wait, full of hope.

If the earth smiles in flowers

I think sunflowers are her laugh

When I leave this world,

I want to return as a sunflower.

Free spirits trust with ease

Most wounded souls never will,

How could it be otherwise?

Trust is a rainbow of colours

Like the layers of an onion

As deep as the ocean.

Behind the blue of my eyes,

Do you see my shame?

The history I cannot hide?

Ghosts that forever haunt?

You will see light in my darkness 

 I see your wounds too.

Trust is curiosity and believing

Never giving up, never judging

Trust can be seen in the eyes

Getting it wrong, apologising.

Trust is smiles and laughter

Reflecting the absurdity of life.

Trust for me is nature's magic

Trust is hope and it is healing

The bridge between past and future

Forever an enigma.

Deep trust can survive sabotage

From the many it eludes

I trust you, Do you trust me? 

She knew the room would forever haunt,

It's disappointments, tears, laughter.

She remembered the tall bookshelf

How her eyes had drunk the titles,

She remembered the picture, the story

How he'd shared a piece of his past.

She remembered the noisy crows,

Telling her to not give up, to battle.

She remembered that summer of hope

How she'd felt alive, how she smiled,

A happiness that became irreplaceable.

She had written, she painted,

She remembered the dog barking,

How he hated the rain, how he laughed

She remembered his eyes,

Finally she had looked at them, seen,

Too late to stop her heart hurting,

Life had taught her a hard lesson.

One can heal yet gain new wounds too,

We hate, we love, we get it wrong.

A piece of her soul died,

The secret, she will take to the grave.

Fate had been cruel. All too late

She realised it was not meant to be.

For she exists for only one hour,

Whereas he has for 25 years.

She wished one day she could forget,

She wished the tears would stop,

For it all to become a faint memory,

She knew she would try very hard.