robby scoffs and while yujin knows that it's mostly in jest, he can't help but feel a little guilty. it's not like he likes asking for help and can't handle anything on his own. perhaps he mistakenly assumed that asking for help leaning into his stretch wouldn't even come across as a plea for help; haven't they done this about a million times as trainees before now? maybe someday it'll be the straw that breaks the camel's back. yujin's just glad that it's not today, even if he feels bad about asking already.
his groupmate helps him despite the feigned annoyance and yujin can't help the sound that escapes his throat as robby leans against his back, pushing him further into the stretch. it's just a touch too far, yujin verbalizing the strain without real words for second before he finds them again: "ah— hold it there, please," he breathes into the stretch again, willing his muscles to relax. he knows he's capable of bending a little further than this; he must just be a little stiff this morning, for whatever reason.
they find a balance that's only somewhat uncomfortable for yujin, enough to feel the burn but not so much that he's going to rip himself in two. he exhales once more, leaning imperceptibly deeper. nervousness is a waste of time, robby proclaims. yujin agrees; he just doesn't seem to be able to keep himself from doing so anyway most of the time. robby knows all of that, though. "it's not just the performance though," yujin gives life to his thoughts by speaking them aloud, even if robby doesn't really want to hear them. "if it was just dancing, i don't think it'd be so bad. it's everything else. it's..."
how does he explain it? when offered the choice between a stage name and his government name, yujin chose to adopt the mantle of jiahn to separate himself from the idol on stage. at the time, he thought it would be a good idea. like super man takes off the glasses in favor for the cape, yujin could also transform into a different, more confident person when he needed to be. at least, that was the plan. jiahn was a surprisingly difficult character to play. yujin never expected to be given the heavy burden of visual after all; the whole team is made up of good looking guys! he knows there's more eyes on him at any given time, that it's his responsibility to attract fans to the group with his god-given visuals. sometimes, just sometimes, yujin blames himself for newave's lukewarm reception.
"i get nervous about our future," yujin admits. "what will happen to us if... well, i should leave it at home." robby doesn't want to hear it, he tells himself. a frown creases his face, brow knitting together worriedly. his own body, at least, is a welcome distraction. he makes another sound as robby pushing him forward just a hair too far. "owowow," yujin complains, pushing back to sit upright again instead of trying to breathe through this one. "i can't go any farther than that yet!"
robby wonders if his "tough love" approach to yujin is actually helpful to him or not. it's not as if he isn't sensitive to the anxieties that his roommate feels, and he definitely understands the unsteady feelings that come with a career in the entertainment industry, but he's had to force himself to reroute those trains of thought so they crash and burn; torching any iota of a made-up scenario that could fuck up his mindset.
from what he's learned in therapy, anxiety is a fear of the unknown; it's that downward spiral of helplessness living beings fall into when they realize life's reality. we only have so much control. we have no idea what the future holds. it's daunting, but it is what it is.
yujin doesn't seem to grasp the concept that, in the grand scheme of life, none of his worries actually matter. that's not saying that they're invalid, but whatever happens is going to happen, and neither of them can do anything about the outcome. stressing out about it is useless, and instead of "babying" his group-mate in those moments, he chooses to speak with firmness; with grit. he doesn't want his words to be misinterpreted. he wants to speak directly to the root of the anxiety—to tell it that it's irrelevant and irrational.
robby hopes that yujin can leave all of this behind him someday, but for now, he applies more weight to him; definitely noticing that there's an added tension to his limbs. whenever he's helped him with this in the past, yujin's flexibility always surprises him. today though? not so much. "you really are stressed, aren't you..." he comments, feeling bad for being so dismissive initially. tough love doesn't necessarily mean acting rude and cold anyway.
"no, no—you can talk about it. i'm sorry for being a dick." he replies, focusing on trying to push yujin past the limit he's stopped at in his stretch. he's applying more gentle pressure, but the instant his comrade yelps in response, he ceases his motions; joining him on the floor instead. "i'm also sorry for pushing you a little hard. normally, you can go much further than that." licking over his lips, he turns his head to gaze over at yujin; offering a half-smile. "what worries you about the future? what do you think is going to happen?"
hopefully his query isn't too invasive. he just thinks exploring that realm of thought for a second will help convince yujin that his thoughts are inane. "tell me..."


















