Roadstuck

Everyone's on board. 

All 7 of you. 

In the middle of the Amish country now. A few hours past Hershey park, not too far from Penn State, but not all too close to anything really. 

You look to your left as you drive. 

"are those... nuns? playing volleyball?" you ask, slightly amused. 

"I believe those are just Amish ladies," replies Rose. 

You laugh to yourself. Oops, you think, Here I thought the nuns were being nice to the novices or something. 

You clearly are thinking kind of slowly today. Maybe all of this monotonous driving is getting to you. It's been around 5 hours and you've only stopped once to gas up. You figure it's time that somebody else take the wheel. (Jesus, perhaps?) 

...................................................

John: Be Karkat. 

Karkat walks up to the front seat. He sits down, buckles up, and revs up the RV. 

A few more hours pass, and you speak up. 

"LOOKS LIKE THIS LEGENDARY ROAD WHORE IS HOGGING THE GAS AGAIN." 

The gas light is on. Again. What a fucking surprise. 

You see a sign that says there's a gas station coming up in 2 exits. This is actually good. 

"THERE'S A SHEETZ COMING UP IN A FEW MILES," you announce to the crew, "IF I COULD FIND SOMETHING TO EAT THAT *ISN'T* A FUCKING CHEESE DOODLE OR PEACHY RING I'LL BE HAPPY SO THIS ACTUALLY WORKS I GUESS." 

"BuT i ThOuGhT yOu AlL sOrTs Of LoVeD cHeEsE dOoDlEs AnD pEaCh RiNgS?" 

"NOT WHEN THEY'RE ALL YOU HAVE TO EAT FOR 5 HOURS IN THE CAR." 

You pull off the Interstate and pull into the gas station parking lot. The big red building towers over the RV. You figure that you all can go get snacks and drinks and then you can gas up on the way out. 

You buy yourself a Coke and a wrapped club sandwich, and meet everyone else back at the RV, and start to gas up. 

Nepeta is munching on a pink little donut, Rose is sipping a coffee, Feferi has a bottle of strawberry Vitamin Water, and then you see it- John and Gamzee coming back with plastic bags upon plastic bags filled with small bottles of rainbow soda. 

"GuEsS wHaT bRo! I gOt Me AlL sOrTs Of FlAvOrS oF fAyGo FoR mAd ChEaPs!" 

You put your palm up to your face and sigh. 

He had to have spent at least 40 bucks on all that fucking soda. 

Where the fuck is he even going to put it in the RV? 

You don't want to know. 

Then you see Roxy. 

"they don't ban 4loko here lol" 

This trip is fucking RIDICULOUS. 

Yeah, at least it's evening, but does Roxy really need to get drunk every day? 

Between her drunkenness and Gamzee's sugary antics, you just want to flip the goddamn RV over and rage quit. 

Unfortunately, that is not an option. 

But for your safety, you figure that somebody else can drive. Nepeta can't drive right now because she'll have to pull over every 5 minutes so she can take a bathroom break. And you sure as FUCK don't trust Roxy with the wheel. But hmm... Feferi? Maybe she has some potential with driving. You ask her if she wants to drive. She takes you up on that offer. 

She'll be the one to take you to your first stop. 

Age: 18 years old 

Major: Business  

Hometown: Millbrook, NY 

Reasons for traveling: To have fun at the California beaches and spend some time with your friends! You can't wait to chill out on the West Coast and maybe even learn how to surf! You also want to taste the food from all over the country and are looking forward to some nice seafood Cioppino once you reach Cali! 

Hobbies: Shopping, partying, fish keeping, taking selfies, tanning, whitening your teeth. 

Age: 18 years old 

Major: Biology (hopefully on the pre-vet track)   

Hometown: Millbrook, NY 

Reasons for traveling: You couldn't bear to think about the Lalondes leaving Mutie home with just their parents. And you would love to travel around with some of your buddies for a few weeks! This is also your first real time away from home, so you're pretty excited. 

Hobbies: Pet-sitting, hunting with your dad, drawing (you love to doodle your fursona), watching anime and reading manga, cosplay, and running track 

Age: 18 years old 

Major: Graphic design  

Hometown: Millbrook, NY 

Reasons for traveling: You want to see the motherfuckin miracles all over the world, and party it up in California with some sweet lady Mary Jane. Surfing and skating are pure fucking gold there, man, and you sure as hell aren't going to miss any of that. 

Hobbies: Video games, listening to music, skateboarding, drawing (you love planning new tattoos and are working on full sleeves), and baking- if you know what I mean. 

Age: 18 years old 

Major: Psychology   

Hometown: Millbrook, NY 

Reasons for traveling: This is exactly the type of tacky coming-of-age experience you have secretly been looking forward to for years. It's so stereotypical you just couldn't resist saying no! And you wouldn't mind spending more quality time with your friends and your sister.  

Hobbies: Knitting (especially outfits for your cat), reading, studying psychology, playing video games, fencing, ballet, and playing violin. 

Age: 18 years old 

Major: Biology 

Hometown: Millbrook, NY 

Reasons for traveling: You can't resist some quality time with your friends! Hanging out, partying, going to the beach, it all seems so awesome to you! 

Hobbies: Video games, partying, reading and writing all sorts of fanfiction, and volleyball. 

Age: 18 years old 

Major: Computer science  

Hometown: Millbrook, NY 

Reasons for traveling: You don't. Fucking. Know. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOING THIS TO YOURSELF. WHY. 

Hobbies: Wrestling, video games, programming, going to local concerts, and debating on web forums. 

Welcome to Gamzee’s house. The gang’s all here and ready to go! 

Select character: 

Karkat 

Nepeta 

Gamzee 

Feferi 

Rose 

Roxy 

You drive up to Gamzee's house, and you knock on the door. 

Nobody answers. 

You, being pretty close to Gamzee, figure that he and anyone else who's there are probably around back. 

You go around the fairly large house, to find that you're the last one to arrive. 

As usual, Karkat is bitching about some issue that he has, probably with the whole concept of the trip in general. Nepeta is pouncing around with excitement. Rose has her knitting needles in hand, ready to probably knit a Doctor Who scarf on the course of this journey. Gamzee looks chill and slightly trapped in another world, as usual. Roxy is holding- wait- is that vodka? I guess she got the hint that Gamzee's dad wouldn't be home and figured she might as well get drunk here... And the last girl you figure is Feferi, going by her massive sunglasses and orangey skin. And her hair. Oh god- what is even happening there? You shudder to yourself, but try not to make any judgements. 

"hey guys. i'm finally here!" 

"I tHoUgHt wE wErE gOiNg To AlL sOrTs Of LeAvE wItHoUt YoU, bRoThEr!" says Gamzee. 

"You aren't that late. We just showed up early." says Rose reassuringly. 

"oh ok. we're all packed up i guess?" you ask. Roxy nods. It's a miracle she can comprehend anything since she's so tipsy. 

":33< *ac put mutie in the car so he could catch some sl33p*" 

"so i guess i just have to move my suitcase into the car and we can head off." 

Passenger profile: John Egbert

Age: 18 years old 

Major: Undecided 

Hometown: Millbrook, NY 

Reasons for traveling: You think it’s something everyone should do as they’re preparing to head off to college. It’s a good time to bond with friends, meet up with internet buddies, and hang out with family members you haven’t seen in ages. You look forward to seeing your cousin Jane for the first time since your Nanna’s funeral, and finally meeting up with some people from some MMOs and forums that you’ve been talking to for years. You’re pretty psyched for this road trip, pretty much. 

Hobbies: Playing board games, video games, baseball, and watching various comedy films.  

Free at last! Finally out of high school! You've had more than your fill of that blasted Betty Crocker graduation cake. Now, it's time to chill with your friends. You want to get out and see some of the world before you're trapped in school again. And then it hit you- you should pool your money with a group of your friends and head out on a road trip! You realized that Gamzee has an RV at his house that he uses when he goes to spend his weekends upstate at Lake George, so all you guys would have to do is pay for gas and food. You should have enough cake mix lying around to last you around a month, but you'd rather not think about that.

When you mentioned your plan to the Lalonde twins, Roxy perked up and suggested that you should drive to “claifornia califrona california" so she could "party it uppppppp", and Rose said that the trip would be a "fun, stereotypical coming-of-age experience, full of tacky clichés and long-lasting memories of sappy Americana". You think that's a good thing, but you're not entirely sure. Gamzee seconded Roxy's idea of going to California, so he could "mEeT hIs LaDy MaRy JaNe AnD hEaD oN oVeR tO sHaNgRi-La :o)", and he wanted to bring his friend Feferi with him. He said that she'd love the beaches there and looks forward to working on her tan. Judging by what you've seen of her on Trollian, she really doesn't need to get any tanner.

Rose already started a Pesterchum board for all of the people going on the trip, and you suggested reuniting with your cousin Jane from Oklahoma and some Southern girl you met through your online Home Economics class. They posted to the group saying that they'd love you meet you, so at the very least, you would have to swing by Georgia and Oklahoma some time during your trip to say hi. Nepeta insisted that she'd go after hearing that Rose and Roxy were going to leave Mutie home, assuring them that she'd take good care of Mutie. She worked hard to convince her parents that she was ready to go on an adventure like this, and when Mr. and Mrs. Leijon learned that Rose would be going, they lightened up a bit. If they trusted anyone, it was Rose Lalonde.