alive (& a well)

@rmkhb

mideum is weary.  

not tired, not bleary eyed, but weary,  burdened with the kind of fatigue that made a home out of a person; that nestled itself close, cool and tight in between the gaps of their ribs and claimed the heart’s country as its own.  she can’t remember the last time she didn’t feel like this, nor could she find the kind of light that promised that this would end, only tugged on by the endless series of distractions that called itself living.

today’s distraction was a certain bae jungho -- the son of some person with money, slid in front of her in lieu of her new foster mother (who had ‘apologised’ with a text that simply read, “he had asked to meet you!  be grateful!”).  his eyes sat at a perpetual amused squint, the kind that made her feel like he was evaluating her, lips quirked in a grin that only disappeared with every nervous lick of his lips that he made (of which there were many).

to some, jungho would’ve been handsome, but mideum wasn’t some -- true charm, to her, was known by the name kim hanbin, though at times he felt more like a dream lost than her boyfriend.  if it weren’t for a text log two years long, her phone wallpaper and a plethora of more photos she’d collected with loving diligence, she’d have thought he was.  absentmindedly, her thumb tapped at her phone’s home button, stomach slowly rolling onto its back at absence of contact, something greeted with a rare and utterly visible furrow of her brow.

“mideum-ah-- i’m sorry, am i boring you?  i’ve been doing a lot of the talking--”

a laugh parted from her lips like the swansong of a punctured balloon, a polite, “oh no, it’s fine,” being the response of choice, rather than, “i didn’t know we were close enough to drop basic etiquette!”

“that’s good.  you know, the cakes here are really nice, try some,” jungho offered, licking his lips again as he dug into delicate mille-feuille he had bought for himself (but not without spending five minutes trying to convince her to get one of his own, his treat), lifting it to her lips. 

“i’m fine, thank you--”

“--no, come on--”

“--hones--”

an odd moment of courage led jungho to stuffing her mouth shut with a piece of pastry, grinning, catching her off guard entirely.  widened eyes leaving his face out of a flurry of annoyance and embarassment, she locked gazes with a sight that caused her to snort mille-feuille right up into her nostrils.

found in a dumpster!  handed in to a church ran orphanage!  fun times!  (fun fact! mideum means faith in korean!)

cycled thru 4 homes!

at age 8, adopted into home one.  home 1 had a bunch of other adopted kids bc hello! govt money!  when she realised she was merely a means of money she started to stop trying to be loved so hard and eventually tried to run away.  was sent back in less than a year

at age 12, a young hippie liberal couple adopts her thinking they can make her the first student of their way of life.  realise that that’s too much work, she’s too much work and that they’re bored.  sent back in under 6 months.

at age 13,  was adopted by a horrifically dysfunctional and abusive family to take care of the mother, who was suffering complications from an ‘accidental miscarriage.’  ran away multiple times, but only when her powers began to ‘teeth’ was she able to finally get away for good.

after the advent of her powers at age 15 effort was put forward to put her in hands of a good match, of someone who would know what to do w hershe was adopted by an old astrophysicist who near the end of his life took a deep interest in the universe, it's mysteries and the powered and was so so SO good to her.  rly helped her grow into her powers

he was old though and got really sick and she spent the better part of 2 years taking care of him before he died

in a final act of care he put her in the hands of her 4th ‘family’, the cho’s, who have taken her on as a pity project.  rich, stupidly rich family with a sway in society who’s reputation had been marred by some illegal wrongdoings of the cho patriarch.  it’s chill.  they don’t care about her and are clearly using her but it’s chill.  families are a social construct 

bright, energetic person!  very genuine!  just emotionally distant.  you will find many people like cho mideum and feel like they know her well but can’t name one fact abt her.  v good at facilitating that feeling -- it helps that being an embodiment of energy makes her sensitive, aware and understanding of the energies of the people around her (this can also make her a v grounding and/or charismatic force)

will generally take the path of least resistance -- not a huge earthly attachments person lol bc caring not only means risking loss but seems to trigger it 

kind of bummed her foster family as against phys. ed (RLY ENERGETIC PERSON RMB), but loves photography.   when she got her first phone she started up a little photo blog taking snapshots of her life whenever she saw something worth commemoratingshe has a small baby following because of the intimate, innocent and lonely elements in her work

rly likes the games bc she can be a relentless little monster.  not that she’d admit that aloud 

@rmjongin

“okay, honestly,” she declared, stomping through her slur by persisting through the brush with a confidence that shouldn't have been present, "this is usually much easier when we're not in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.  and yes, it's nowhere if there's no street lights because fuhrankly, i'm bad at ..."

what did she want to say?  racking her inebriated mind, she couldn't find an answer, only able to focus on the fact that the longer her pause was, the more stupid she'd sound.  

“ ... doing what columbus does. did.  which is a win on many fronts, just not today. i mean, you know, he wasn't great, and... well, you, YOU GET WHAT I MEAN.”  what would've normally been punctuated with a glance back is accompanied with another generous chug of the double -- tonight's poison was ginger & rye -- clutched in her hand, the last of three (as well as the many social sips she had taken earlier in the night) because tonight was as a night in which she was not only drunk, but totally okay with the idea of getting utterly wasted.

a sharp gasp parted from her lips the moment she began to feel the ground underneath her feet shift into something else, softer, and she began to book it through the green, stumbling, then clumsily taking a few hops that finally resulted in a jerky, delighted flight path out of the woods (one that felt incredible, but likely looked strained and a little worrisome).