Tough year. It’s been two weeks since Papa passed away. And in some way, my mind still refuses to accept the reality that I’ve had to write down a statement like this twice in four months. My relationship with my dad was not the usual father and son relationship. There were a lot of things that we weren’t able to do together when I was growing up. But we had our moments. It’s a long story, and every family has one such story, but whatever we didn’t get to do when I was young we more than made up when I was an adult already and I think that was the time that I truly understood my dad. And one thing that I learned about him, is how he valued and gave importance to family. For him, family was everything: his siblings, his children, his grandchildren, my Mama, all the generations, our relatives... family is more important than anything. And you fight for family every day of your life. I only wish I made him proud, because that’s all we could really hope for, right? That we get to that point in our lives that our parents are truly, sincerely proud of what we’ve become. Papa always had my back if I needed help or I didn’t know what to do. He had every answer to “life” problems. He loved this poem, Desiderata, and the past weeks I’ve been saying it like a prayer everyday and now I get it. Now I understand why Papa was that way. “... whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.” Papa, I pray that you are truly in a better place. And in my heart, I know you are, even if it aches that I can no longer message you or give you a call to see how you’re doing... like what you’re currently watching on Netflix, or ask you whether the Dodgers won. Some part of me will always think that I didn’t have enough time with you, that I didn’t make enough time... Pa, I don’t think I said it enough then, but I’ll say this now: I love you. Be at peace. https://www.instagram.com/p/CEoogjdnvoD1lEE7--XXW-gMIHAb_Z2MpX9VJM0/?igshid=vvg3z2m8q5u3
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