cheesecake

I am not sure if I can but I know this is my dream. I am scared but still excited. I am not smart enough, not even a studious person.

#towardsbetterthings

It’s okay if you’re lying on your bed right now, staring blankly at the ceiling, about to cry. 

I know you’re scared. You’re scared because you think you’re never good enough. You’re scared because you see other people your age already doing well and you’re not even halfway there. You’re scared because you think about what others will say about you. You’re scared to end up failing. You’re scared, and I understand.

But let me tell you this: You’ll make it. I swear, you will.

So if you feel like crying right now, it’s okay, go ahead and cry. It’s okay to feel lost. You will eventually find your way out. It’s okay if right now you feel like you’re not the person you’re supposed to be, because I know that you’ll figure it out one day.

It’s okay if you feel like you’ve let yourself and the people you love down a lot of times already. One day, after all the trials and errors and breakdowns, you’ll finally make it. And you’ll see that the people who love you never lost their faith in you.

Please, right now, as you are — I am asking you to not give up. Your heart may feel heavy and your mind may have thousands of thoughts inside, but you have to keep going. You have to, no matter how scary and much of a struggle it may be. 

And I when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head" 

Above  all  else, guard  your  heart, for  it  is  the  wellspring  of  life.     Proverbs 4:23 

Our hearts,  the wellspring of our lives, are given free reign by most of us. We're under the illusion that we can't help how we feel;  our emotions are considered the foundation of who we are. And as our feelings rise and fall as often as the wind changes direction, so our does our life. We are guarded by feelings far more than we'd like to think.  We make decisions based on rationality and then letting the feelings fall in behind.  We let our emotions define us.

Does your heart ride along with your feelings like an anchorless ship on the waves?  Is it subject to deep swells and rapidly changing courses?  If so finding direction from God may be a challenge . You may be waiting for Him to shape your heart,  while He is waiting for you to guard  it.  He will do His part, but only you can do yours.  The wisdom of Proverbs make your vigilance the highest priority: "above all else." That is the attention we are to give to our emotional swells.  It is paramount. Be on guard.

I’m not going to deny, 2016 was considerably a horrible year for me, but also amazing. It made me a stronger person. It taught me to keep fighting until the end and never give up; helped me value relationships; taught me to be always bold enough to say no; made me appreciate what I have; and most of all, helped me figure out who I was. 

There’s been disappointment, ignorance, fun and joy – that is how I would like to define my 2016 at college. 

These people who’s been through it all with me – comforted me in my dark times and was always the reason for my happiness. Thank you so much for staying, always. That is all I have to say to you. Never change. Always be ever so sweet to every person you meet. I’ve found a perfect match for my introverted soul in your extroverted old soul and I’m never letting you go.

I SURVIVED.

This semester is full of ups and downs in my life. Full of realizations. Full of fun and stress. I’ve learned a lot. I met new people. I met reliable and good friends (Hello, UNO)

Many times I’ve ask “Ano bang ginagawa ko sa buhay ko?” I could not sleep because I needed to study, but I could not study because my anxiety and depression were staging World War III on the battleground of my mind. I feel like a-dead-human-walking which is always making me feel like a failure. Asking myself is it worth it.

I'm also having a "Hindi sapat ang passing grade dahil mababa pa ito" moment. I was challenged because my block mates were really doing well. No chill. Anyways, I’m grateful because it makes me work harder and smarter, and I would like to thank those people who are with me in cramming because of them I’m relieved sometimes. Lol

I would say that this semester taught me not only in academics but how to be responsible, to be brave enough and to move on from failures.

 “You called us your own our greatest possession”

30 July 2016

What I’ve learned in this conference

1. Don’t settle.

If the Lord is commanding us to go. There's no reason for us to stop. -Pastor Ian Daguman 

Don’t limit God’s ability. We have many excuses why we don’t make a step, maybe because we said ‘I don’t have time, energy, talent and confidence’. You don’t have because you don’t ask. God is a generous God. He is limitless and unstoppable. 

2.Speak the word.

The ultimate human right is to hear the message of salvation that comes from Christ. -Dr. Rice Brooks (author of God’s not Dead).

“The entire weight of faith is on one entire event: the resurrection of Jesus." (Brooks)

Real faith isn't blind. We do not come to God for reasons, we come to Him as our reason.

Until one person is lost we will never stop. Discipleship never stops.