love & affection ;

As with any beginning, she realizes that she’ll be faced with all new challenges, forced to endure any new hardships that come her way. As of recently, Dawon has been a debuted member of Luxe; the new idol tier has provided her with a million and one new things to adapt to, providing her with a new sense of uncertainty. It’s a new world all over again, she thinks to herself, biting down on her lower lip as she once again stands on an unfamiliar stage. The song begins with Dawon’s first note, her heart once again feeling as though it might beat out of her chest. This time, however, she doesn’t believe that her feelings stem from nervousness. No, this time she feels something that bears a heavy resemblance to excitement.

The song plays through, and each girl appears to work equally as hard to put on a spectacular performance. This is one of the first times that they’re performing like this together, and Dawon has to admit that it causes her to feel so much better than many things she’s experienced in the past. It feels so freeing, in a way. This is what she’s wanted for so long, and now she’s finally getting to live her dream as it becomes reality.

5pm.

the first thing she notices is just how beautiful each of them look. personally, she’s a big fan of their outfits, reveling in just how pretty she feels. she spends time appreciating each member’s appearance, though her gaze lingers on eunae in particular. she isn’t used to seeing her dressed this way; maybe that’s why she finds herself fixated on her, finding it almost impossible to look away for even a moment — she just isn’t used to it, she supposes.

she manages to make it through the press conference without saying anything particularly damning — meaning she’s off to a good start (thanks, refresher courses). if it’s any indication of how the rest of her day is going to play out, dawon knows that everything is going to work out perfectly. now isn’t the time for mistakes; it’s time to show all of korea just how powerful of a group luxe has grown to be, that they’re a force to be reckoned with.

6pm-7pm.

she absentmindedly allows her eyes to flicker shut as the stylist works on her hair, something that’s become a habit of hers in recent months. it helps her thoughts to slow down, allowing dawon to feel something that resembles peace before their big moment. she tries not to worry about what lays ahead, instead focusing on just how much they’ve practiced, attempting to reassure herself that everything’s going to be perfect.

once again, she’s impressed with what has to be one of her favorite hairstyles. “aah, you’re so good at this...” she compliments the stylist as she admires herself in the mirror, unable to resist the excited smile that takes over her lips. her outfit is just as beautiful, and she’s overjoyed by the way it compliments her — it feels like the perfect debut look, and it’s impossible not to feel beautiful as she gazes at herself in the mirror. sona’s much prettier than dawon ever was, she thinks to herself, a subtle chuckle escaping her.

she grows increasingly anxious as each second passes by, heart racing each time she dwells on the fact that their debut is less than an hour away. for as long as she can remember, it’s been something to look forward to — something distant that never felt all too real. but this is as real as it gets, and she’s going to have to face it head on — she still hasn’t wrapped her mind around it yet, but, with enough time, she thinks it’s something she can adjust to.

only a few minutes now.

8pm.

the vcr comes to a close, and, after a brief introduction, it’s finally time to perform.

i was born for this, she thinks, praying that she’ll be able to hold onto her confidence.

after xayah finishes her first rap in dangerous, it’s finally dawon’s turn to sing. it’s her first chance since royal survival to show her voice to the world, a feeling that she’ll never get tired of.

너는 늘 이렇게 떠날 듯 말듯해 날 한걸음 또 한걸음 밀어내 이렇게 점점 날 더 어지럽게 해 이 미로 미로 미로 미로 속에 갇힌 난

it’s easily her favorite song on the album — not only does she enjoy just how much she gets to sing, but she also appreciates how well the song suits her. it’s a song that she fell in love with from the moment she heard it, instantly making its way into her heart. she only hopes that the public will love it just as much.

너는 아니라고 하지만 내게 보이는 너의 모습들이 너는 나를 쉽게 흔들리게 해 가까워진듯 더 멀어지게 해 또 난 아슬아슬하게

the bridge she shares with jihyun is unquestionably the most powerful part of the song — deep down, she knows it’ll be enough to leave a considerable impression on anyone listening. there’s no denying that the two main vocalists sound great together.

너는 늘 이렇게 떠날 듯 말듯해 날 한걸음 또 한걸음 밀어내 이렇게 점점 날 더 어지럽게 해 이 미로 미로 미로 미로 속에 갇힌 난

as the last chorus brings the song to a close, sona tries her best to savor the moment. it’s hard to believe that she’s actually standing here performing in front of three-thousand people. even now, it feels like more of a dream than anything else. she scans the crowd, trying to spot whatever family and friends have shown up to support her, but it’s almost impossible to see anyone due to the lighting. at least i’ll seem them after the showcase.

luv me soon begins to play, and, while it isn’t dawon’s favorite song on the album, she still feels nothing but love towards it.

Oh do you love me love me love me boy Do you love me love me love me boy 나 얼마나 사랑해 어서 빨리 말해 머리 굴리지 말고

for dawon, the song passes by rather quickly, perhaps due to just how much she enjoyed performing it. this already feels like the best night of her life, and it’s not even close to being over yet.

over these last few weeks, she’s given a lot of thought towards how she wants to be seen by the public — sona wants her title to be something that represents her, a word that's synonymous with her identity. she wants to choose something that means something to her, something that’s always meant something to her. and, after thinking for what felt like a lifetime, she had finally settled on just what she was looking for. to them, she isn’t just dawon anymore. no, she’s finally grown into something more. “i’m sona, goddess of song!” she greets the crowd, a radiant smile still glued to her features.

“i love each of the songs on the album, but if i had to pick a favorite..." she pauses, acting as if she’s thinking for a moment so that the decision doesn’t seem too easy. “i think it’d have to be dangerous! it’s a song that i really love to listen to, and i think it suits us as a group well. it just has such a pretty sound to it, you know? i just love it.”

as the first mc portion comes to an end, they prepare to perform once more. this time they’re showcasing still falls the rain, another of sona’s favorite tracks from the album. it’s a song that suits her voice well, she thinks, and she’s grateful that they’re able to show many different sides of luxe as a whole throughout the album.

비가 내린 후엔 슬퍼지는 밤엔 널 부르다 혼자 아프죠

as they prepare to perform without u, sona begins to notice a pattern: she considers every song on the album to be one of her favorite songs from the album — it’s a far cry groups that actually go so far as to dislike their debut albums and songs. for that, sona’s grateful, having never been a fan of performing songs that she isn’t passionate about.

I’m OK baby I’m freakin’ good good without you I’m gonna good good good without you boy Without you boy without you oh~ oh~

[insert emo paragraph of the second mc portion ft. any story involving eunae here bc i don’t have time to finish writing it before midnight in like ten minutes]

she watches in awe as the music video plays, the final product revealing itself to be more than she could have dreamed of. everything about it just seems so perfect, though maybe she is a little biased. once again, time seems to fly by, and the music video soon draws to a close. now it’s time for them to gear up for the most important performance of the night.

her heart feels as though it might beat out of her chest at any given moment. this is it, she thinks to herself. the moment i’ve dreamt of for years. it still feels all too surreal, the idea that she’s standing on stage about to actually debut still feeling like a far away dream. only this is her reality, something that she’s worked so hard to achieve — it’s everything that she’s wanted for so long. she draws in a deep breath, unable to resist as her lips form a radiant smile, knowing that her dreams are about to come true. this is it.

I’m feelin’ it. And I feel good~

the first note is possibly her most important line in the song — sona puts as much passion into as she possibly can, hoping to put on the most unforgettable show of the night. no one will think of her as ‘unforgettable’ after this.

she loses herself in the performance, cherishing every second of it. they’re each doing so well, and she can tell just by looking at them that they deserve to be here. she feels nothing but pride for her teammates, overjoyed that they’ve each made it this far.

Now I feel good 기분 좋아 오늘은 다시 오지 않아 baby 나와 지금 기분 좋아 지금이 아니면 안돼 I feel good good good tonight

다시 한번 더 I feel good

as the song finally draws to a close, sona finds herself overwhelmed with emotions — visibly vulnerable for the first time on stage as her eyes fill up with tears. they’re tears of joy, she thinks, the subtle smile that graces her lips hopefully doing enough to show it.

(to be continued bc i ran out of time)

before they can debut, however, there are still a few more things left to take care of on the agenda, but perhaps the one dawon’s the most excited for is the vcr photoshoot. once upon a time, she hadn’t considered modeling to be her forte; but now, it’s easily one of the things she looks forward to the most when it comes to an idol’s lifestyle. during the supernova new year photoshoot last year, she learned just how much she enjoyed modeling, and, at the risk of sounding conceited, she’d even say that she’s become somewhat good at it.

initially, she isn’t sure what to make of the outfit chosen for her — or at least, she isn’t sure what to make of the pants. they’re enough to catch her off guard, her expression shifting to one of subtle confusion, making it somewhat obvious that it’s not in the very least what she expected. the more her gaze lingers on the outfit as a whole, however, the fonder of it she becomes; it’s an outfit she expects to pull off well, even despite the surprise factor.

dawon spends ten minutes in front of the photographer, striking a wide variety poses all the while. the glittery, silver microphone might just be the greatest prop she could have asked for, and she tries her best to make the most of it. she spends the duration of the session trying to show off a fun yet elegant side of her personality, purposely avoiding anything that could give off an overly cute impression. while there’s nothing wrong with being seen as cute, she doesn’t feel that it’s who she really is — making this an opportunity to show off a more authentic and personal side of herself.

the interview portion that follows requires a bit more thought, but dawon still promises herself that she’ll continue to respond as genuinely as possible. she hums when asked about her impressions of the album and excitement leading up to debut, quickly gathering her thoughts before speaking. “the album, in my opinion, is... mm... a lot of fun. especially the title track! it’s music i’d listen to even if it wasn’t coming from luxe. and overall, i think it does a really good job at showing our strengths as a group? there’s a nice variety of songs, so i think there will be something for almost everyone to enjoy! it really exceeded my expectations.

“but when it comes to the excitement leading up to debut... aah, i don’t actually know what to say,” she admits, amused laughter spilling from within her as she raises a hand to cover her mouth. “it’s still so hard to believe that any of this is real. like, is this really happening? are we really debuting? i ask myself those questions a lot. sometimes i wonder if this is just some long, insanely realistic dream that i’ll be waking up from soon,” she jokes, another soft laugh escaping her. “but i hope that doesn’t happen! waking up from something like this would be an actual nightmare.