( Ë RENDERING ⊠ )  â â â
âthere you go again⊠look at you! no wait, let me be you for a minute,â the girl hurriedly announces before shaking her body, attempting to put on a soft expression while seizing one of his hands with both of her lithe ones, bringing it up to her chin, âi donât have any doubts in you, joohyuk. well, i do have one. i wonder if youâre a real person because like i said before, youâre pretty perfect. i mean, iâm pretty perfect. look at my gorgeous eyes. are you charmed by me yet? i know you are.â she said softly, inching closer to the boy while gazing straight into his eyes, trying her best to imitate the look of sincerity he throws her way. it doesnât last long because laughter breaks through her allure, nana not being able to be serious about any topic for too long within this state. âa likely story. youâre just saying that now so you can try to look normal. iâm not buying it, nam joohyuk!â as she talks she lazily lowers their hands, ultimately breaking contact altogether.
instead her arms cross right below her chest, sitting snug against her body at the thought of going anywhere with jihye. at this point, she wasnât even sure she could consider the other a friend anymore. âif your date means so much to you that you have to stick by her side, even though she probably paid you to embarrass me â which! isnât the traits of a good person, and you would be encouraging if you continued to hang out with her like that was okay! because itâs not! â then yes. iâd go home by myself and really would be mad at you forever. so.â her words sound childish but thereâs truth within them. but nana knew that joohyuk was smarter than to let that happen so easily â or at least, she hoped. âbut you can still cook soup and make me feel all better since you said you wouldnât leave me alone. that sounds so nice ~â she smiles, reaching her eyes once more. thereâs no surprise whenever he talks about his parents, itâs obvious seeing how manners were imbued into him that it had to come from somewhere, âwell. theyâre not looking at you right now, so they wonât know if youâre not so great for .2 seconds, okay?â
her feet are tired and itâs more of a signal that nana has overstayed her welcome, that they should have left by this point. gaze falling to the ground, she thinks about how if she werenât such a stickler about germs, the girl probably would of taken her shoes off by now. who knew what diseases saturated the hallway they were in. a light shudder goes through her just thinking about it before she snaps her head upwards to meet joohyukâs eyes, rolling her own at his reply because of course mister boy scout would think like that. instead, the challenge is within his next sentence, âif sheâs not in the right mindset for that, then why are you with her? hmm?â thereâs something about the way he said that makes her want to tease him again, but the mention of another friend taking jihye home causes nana to perk up, excitement swimming within auburn hues as she bounces lightly, âthen why didnât you say that before! forget the chauffeur â heâs off duty right now anyway â that would be so much better! which one was it? the one in the blue dress? the one with the bun? do you have her number? iâll tell you and you can text her and we can go! come onnn joohyuk, iâm gonna die..â the girl whines dramatically with a pout, both of her hands landing on one of his forearms, giving it a shake.
     THE ever so popular argument of because. joohyukâs heard it countless times in a few years. he already lost count within a month when you take his coworkers into consideration as a standalone factor. he knows it would only anger the women he hears it from more to hear that he finds it cute so he hasnât, he doesnât, and instead he nods, accepting it as he does every time because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. thinking back to jihye, he wishes she was only that fierce towards her ex, not this trickster who wants the other unknowingly involved woman to be affected too. that kind of behavior isnât what he signed up for and heâs hesitant to let jinah know that when she first asked, because itâs not his business to explain but he feels as if he owes it to her now. besides, he keeps telling himself sheâll forget in the morning and maybe she will, maybe she wonât. heâll deal with it then.Â
     HANDS firmly on her shoulders again, he shakes his head, insistent just as she is that he didnât do what she accuses him of. it could be pointless to explain himself at all to someone this far gone, which he isnât completely sure of anymore the more he watches her, but he has to. jinah gives him this feeling that he has to explain or sheâll lose actual faith in him and thatâs something he doesnât want. âfirstly, you might have been a sad drunk girl at first but youâre not sad anymore, right? and jinah, the last thing you are is poor. even when the odds are against you, youâre blessed and this is more about fortune, you know that. you should never need validation from a guy like me or girls like that. second, you werenât humiliated. the only one laughing is jihye and she shouldnât be. she knows better and she knows that if she tried to turn this into more, then it would be bullying and i donât condone that,â which is rich, considering his past. âthird, there was a reason and i told you it. itâs not a good reason but it mattered enough to her. love does... crazy things to the mind.â that much he thinks anyone whoâs been in love at least once can understand.Â
     SHE could be teasing, she probably is teasing but joohyuk wants her to know: ignoring jinah is really something he would not do by choice. âbut uncute? wow, iâm the one whoâs poor now. my poor ego. i mean, if i really believed you, then wow my poor ego but... i donât,â he tells her with a renewed cheeky grin, letting sunshine overtake his face instead of the conflicted storm that brewed while trying to explain enough. easily, she causes him to change expression, stance, and tone with her words. heâs naturally taken in by her gravity, orbiting around her instead of finding his own ground. âi...â usually, he doesnât give a determinate title to his job but she isnât far from what he does. temporary boyfriend isnât a lie so he canât say no. clearing his throat at her metaphor, eyes widened, he shakes his head. âno, youâre quite right.â thatâs his own logic and itâs why he doesnât treat sex so casually. besides, it sends the wrong message to sleep with anyone who isnât 100% on the same page as him and he can never be sure. he might as well wait to be sure, to be in a relationship, even if he doesnât always stand by this belief as much as he pretends to.Â
     HE knows sheâs generous with compliments and especially when sheâs treated well, proper, the way she should be but not everyone has that going for them. heâs confused though when she says anyone would be jealous because heâs the one saying them and he laughs, shaking his head again. âanyone who knows what to say could be in my place,â he explains, wetting his lips and taking a glance behind her in case. âthatâs why iâm temporary, jinah.â no one really needs him in the long run. temporary, a filler, joohyuk knows his role isnât concrete so he doesnât expect much, doesnât think much of who he is and what he does.Â
     WATCHING her act out an impression of him makes him forget for a second, that the person jinah sees him as is who he actually is; that itâs not all a lie and he could be this genuine, this sincere, this nice. âso... you think i have gorgeous eyes, huh? is that what you stare at while iâm cleaning your place because it doesnât seem like it?â humor is his first defense here and heâs chuckling as he considers pulling his hand from hers, remembering how small it is, how easy it is for guys like him to take advantage and he hates that thought. he hates that strength used to be what he used for everything. it was never for that, for this, for what he thinks he could easily trick jinah into if he wanted to, but he feels ashamed like she joked that he should feel, even if itâs for a completely different reason. heâs ashamed of the nam joohyuk that existed before he made up this new existence.Â
     SHE lets go of their hold first and heâs relieved, didnât want or have to read too much into it. he wants to listen to her, to go along with it, because thatâs who he acts like he is now: nam joohyuk who goes with the flow, easy-going nam joohyuk who is the ultimate yes man but sheâs wrong. heâd know if he wasnât good for a second or not and thatâs enough for him when he spent too much time not being good when he did live at home.Â
     SIGHING, he looks into her eyes, warning her with a soft, âjinah.â surprised by the change in her mood, he laughs a little before wetting his lips again, trying to remember which one it was. things had been too crowded, too dark for him to get a full picture but luckily they all met up before going to the club so he had an inkling of how to describe her. âher name is soomi. sheâs kinda tall, wearing that type of mermaid oil spill pattern. you know which one i mean, right? purples and greens...â and he remembers more about her nails than her ouftit in the long run. that, he could describe with ease. âno, i can text her but... âÂ
     HE doesnât want to tell her that his phone has already been going off in his pocket for the last five minutes and soomi has probably taken jihye home already. she already hinted at it before jinah had dragged him here. âdonât you want to say goodbye to anyone either?â then again, he has a feeling theyâre not all as close as they claim to be. âare you tired, jinah? can you walk still?â a check of his messages and heâs taking off his jacket, tying it around her waist, and kneeling in front of her, back to her so she can climb on for a piggyback ride. âitâs not the most honorable way to exit but youâll forgive me if i donât want anyone looking up your skirt if i carry you the other way, right?â with his jacket, he could but sheâs already proving to be a great enough distraction without her face that close to his.Â