little monster

♥«´¨`•°.. » comeback pending…! »                          ¸.•* studio recordings…!  `*•.

it's that time again.

♥«´¨`•°.. » fanclub name reveal…! »                          ¸.•* 고맙다 우리의 진달래 thank you, our azalea…!  `*•.

it’s been a long time coming.

♥«´¨`•°.. » comeback pending…! »                           ¸.•* new song introduction…!  `*•.

her heart begins to flutter when she and her other group mates are all gathered into a practice room, and when they receive their new song for another upcoming comeback, she fully understands why.

— counting sheep

“i think so? i’ve had friends over sometimes and i think our manager said it’s fine. it’s probably okay as long as it’s not like….a boy.” she laughs, because even though she’s pretty sure no one has ever explicitly but that rule in place, she knows that it’s somewhat of an unspoken rule that any male who isn’t one of their dads is probably off limits in the dorms. plus, she wouldn’t want to cause a scandal by bringing a male friend to the dorms, especially when anything can be scandalous these days. “you should invite her! i always wanted to invite my family but…” yeri trails off, thinking of how she can say that her parents probably don’t really care without it sounding sad and embarrassing. “but i feel like they’re too busy. plus they’re not really interested in things like this anyways.”

she smiles widely when joohyun agrees. not that she expected her to say no, but sometimes you never know with people. she’s already thinking of how she can pose, and the way she’ll probably have to clean some things off her bed to get a good picture. maybe if jennie doesn’t mind she can move her dog plushie to her bed for a bit while they take the picture. or maybe jennie could even take the picture for them! “are you going to decorate your side? i was so excited about that when we moved into the dorms, i think jennie and i spent an entire day just walking around and finding things.” after all, they’re really busy all day, and it’s nice to come back to a room with familiar things so they can relax.

yeri’s eyes light up as she nods in agreement, looking at the burger shaped stuffed toy in joohyun’s hand. “yes that one is perfect! i always knew you had good taste.” she tries to take it in her hands to pay for this as well, but even after shuffling around everything she has in her arms she realizes that she has no room to hold it, so she gestures toward the cashier. “i’ll just pay for these all together then!”

bringing a boy to the dorms is the furthest thing from her mind, and she can’t help but laugh when yeri brings it up. she can only imagine the kind of trouble she’d get into if she even brought a boy up at all while at the dorms or at the kt building, let alone trying to get one into their dorms. besides, it’s not like she has a boy she’d even like to bring over, despite the things that have been written about her. “oh, i don’t think they have to worry about me doing that,” she says, shaking her head. she smiles and nods, silently agreeing, making a note to call her sister later so she can stop by the dorms sometime. she notices the brief dip in yeri’s enthusiasm when she talks about her parents, and she purses her lips, unable to fathom it. even if her father was swamped with work, he’d still make time for her and her sister if she asked. “why wouldn’t they want to see what you’re passionate about? that’s...” she’s about to say that it’s sad, but she doubts that would make things any better.

instead, she follows yeri steering the conversation along, back toward the matter of their dorm rooms and sleeping arrangements, and she nods her head enthusiastically. “oh, i’m definitely going to decorate it,” she replies with earnest. her bedroom back at home had been somewhat of a hodge podge of different trinkets and decorations, with not too much of a theme. rather, just a collection of things she’d grown fond of over time. “we should have another shopping trip soon so that you can help me choose things! i’d probably just buy whatever looks good without thinking about an overall aesthetic if i went by myself.”

Overheard

Haseul had really wanted to tell the other girls about this, she really did, but not like this.  She was usually so careful about what she lets people know about her, not that she thought badly of anyone, she just knew how things could get out of hand easily, how word spreads around and she just didn’t want the wrong people to know.  Joohyun was a sweetheart, Haseul knew that, so she didn’t think she belonged on that particular list of people.  “That seems to be the case sometimes, doesn’t it?” she finally chuckles as well, glad that Joohyun seems to be taking the news well.

She was taking it amazingly well, actually, the more Joohyun spoke, the better Haseul felt about the situation.  Sure, she’d probably still hit her brother the next time she saw him, but at least she was at the point that she didn’t believe she’d have to worry about this.  “It really is, do you know how many conversations I’ve had with people about my ‘ideal guy’ or what I’d want in a boyfriend?  I literally had to come up with a guy to say I thought was attractive whenever someone talks about that stuff.”

Joohyun reassuring her that they were okay put her at ease fully now, she could tell that it was fully honest on her part, that they really were fine.  “I am too.  It actually feels really good to have someone else know and be okay with it.  Thank you for being so understanding,” she said, giving her roommate a relieved smile.   

Soon she’s being pulled from her spot on her bed, only to be offered a seat up on Joohyun’s bed instead.  So she does so, joining her up there, listening carefully when Joohyun speaks, her eyebrows raising up at the offer.  Haseul still really didn’t know that much about her roommate, so this was a big deal, she knew Joohyun kind of kept things to herself, much like she did.  That meant this was big for Joohyun too.  “I’m not really sure what to ask…,” she mused for a moment, thinking.  “If it’s not too much, what did you used to do before you came to KT?”  she knows it’s not that deep of a question, but she really wanted to know more about her.  She laughed after asking it “I should have asked you if you had been dating anyone before or something, I guess, probably that question wasn’t what you were expecting…”

the relief and comfort that fills the room makes joohyun feel warm, feeling closer to her roommate now after everything’s been said and done. “oh, if you ever need help coming up with cute guys, i can definitely help you out with that,” she says with a small laugh. there’s certainly no shortage of cute guys in the world as far as she’s concerned---maybe she’s been single now for too long? “that’s nothing you need to thank me for!” she says when haseul thanks her for being understanding. “but i’m glad that you’re okay with me being okay with it.” she lets out a small laugh.

“that’s fair,” she says when when haseul says she isn’t sure what to ask. even so, she’s kind of taken aback by what question haseul decided to ask her because it doesn’t feel quite like an even exchange in comparison to what she’d just learned about her fellow groupmate, but she supposes it’s kind of hard to even think up a question that would she feels would be of even weight, let alone have the ability to ask it. still, she can’t help but let out a small laugh when she does, nodding her head. “it’s definitely not what i was expecting, but i’ll answer it!”

she chuckles again as she tries to decide how to answer the question, or rather, how haseul wants the question answered. there’s a couple different ways to interpret it---perhaps she was curious what job she was doing beforehand, or she could have meant in general. it’s such an innocent question without any underlying motives, though, that she decides maybe it’d be more fair to answer it both ways. “i used to work at a doggy day care!” she finally responds, eyes and face lighting up when she remembers how much fun it had been. “it was really tiring, but so much fun. i was living with my dad and sister at the time after my old roommate moved out...” her voice trailed off, remember why her sister was living there at the time, and she contemplates leaving that detail out, but that would defeat the whole purpose of this chat.

♥«´¨`•°.. » kiss the radio…! »                      ¸.•* girl group special…!  `*•.

the last time she was on a radio show had been with her members during promotions for their first full length album.

♥«´¨`•°.. » she’s a baby…! »                       ¸.•* music video release…!  `*•.

it's been a little under a month since she'd filmed for a senior artist's music video.

♥«´¨`•°.. » she’s a baby…! »                        ¸.•* music video filming…!  `*•.

↻  backdated 08/14

it's not her first time on the set of a music video, and yet she feels even more nervous than when she'd first stepped foot on the first location of eclipse's navillera music video. there's this inexplicable, arbitrary difference between filming something for her own group versus filming for a senior artist, and it makes the air feel heavy, putting weight on her shoulders even when she knows there's nothing there.

♥«´¨`•°.. » s-pop channel ! »                        ¸.•* idol cafe filming...!  `*•.

↻  backdated 08/16

practice makes perfect, and she thinks that applies to interviews and variety shows too.

rkjoohyvn​:

Overheard

The light of her phone’s screen fading to black after hanging up the phone call may as well have been a metaphor for Haseul feeling her heart sink in her chest.  She thinks for a moment, her mind reeling, about what she could do in this situation.  Should she say he was joking?  Should she say he meant finding a girl for him that she liked?  She wouldn’t believe it if someone else had used those excuses after what her brother had said.  She wasn’t sure she could pull off hiding this one even with all of those acting classes that KT had had her do over the years.

She watches Joohyun’s movements, her facial expressions, searching for any indication what her exact response was.  The problem was, she still hadn’t fully learned to read her roommate’s expressions that well, which granted, was on her, for still keeping in her own personal shell.  That being said, she had never had any indication that Joohyun would be biased against her for something like this, but then again, when was the last time something like this had come up? 

“I…” her words get stuck in her throat, hearing Joohyun starting to speak.  She pauses to let her get what she wanted to say out first, maybe that would give her a moment to think up some excuse again if it was a negative response.  But much like she suspected, Joohyun’s tone isn’t one of condemnation, but it almost sounds playful in a way, but not in a ‘now I have information to hold over your head’ kind of way.  She was the same Joohyun that Haseul had really grown to like ever since she had joined the group, the same one she wanted to get closer with, become better friends. 

“My brother… I love him, but he’s not the smartest sometimes,” she says, rubbing the back of her neck. “I’m… I’m not going to lie and say what you heard wasn’t what you heard.  No, this really isn’t the way I wanted you to know.  I did want you to know, but it’s kind of a… difficult thing to bring up in conversations, you know?”  she says, giving her roommate a weak smile.  “And… it’s not just you that didn’t know.  Only Ariel knows,” she sighs softly, looking down as she continues to let Joohyun in.  “I just go along with it when they ask me about getting a boyfriend someday or what my ideal guy is,” she looks at her again, a hopeful look in her eyes. “We’re okay, right?  I understand if you’re upset about me keeping it from you.  I do promise, it’s not just you, though…”

there’s a very brief period of silence that follows after she’d spoken, and it’s a period filled with anxiety and uncertainty, unsure if what she’d said would only make haseul feel worse, or if it would cause a rift between them. luckily, though, it seemed that it had put haseul at ease, as she continues to open up despite the manner in which such an intimate detail had spilled out. it almost feels inappropriate to not only feel relieved over such a thing, but also glad that it did because it’s just another step toward them getting closer, but she can’t help it. a small smile blooms on her face at the thought. “well, men aren’t very bright in general, huh?” she retorts back, letting out a small laugh.

she allows haseul to talk, to let out anything and everything she wants to in that moment. it seems as though she feels bad that she’d been hiding something like that from not only her, but the rest of their group, and it’s so quintessentially haseul that she can’t help but let out a little giggle. “it’s okay, really,” she says, shaking her head, hoping to alleviate some of this guilt she seems to be feeling. far be it from her to judge someone about keeping things to themselves. joohyun may very well be one of the worst at it. “i get it. it’s a hard thing to talk about not exactly the type of thing you can just casually bring up, even if you want to.”

she smiles again, but it drops when haseul looks up at her with those eyes, and suddenly she’s desperately reaching out for the younger girl’s hands, grasping them tightly into her own, looking into her eyes so that she can clearly convey her honesty and sincerity. “oh, honey, of course we’re okay! we’re more than okay!” she exclaims, gently shaking their hands together. “i know it was an accident, but i’m glad you decided to share this with me.”

// uncle gray

he smiles, when joohyun apparently was ok with his cousin taking photos of eunchae and her. contrary to him, she had to watch her public image more intensely, so he was glad eunchae’s mom asked for permission first, before just doing her thing. he had trust in his cousin, that she would really keep them for the memories’ sake only. there was no way to harm her daughter’s friend, right?

something about their little off-training music session eases his mind, and despite his initial shyness about his more or less secret singing voice, gray was enjoying himself. he was spending time with eunchae, the cutest girl on earth, and joohyun, a friend who had grown on him a lot, although they hadn’t known each other for too long. and while a lot of things, both negative and positive, were going on around him, he could feel the calming effect this little and random get together had on his heart. in the end, it was always like this: music was their safe haven, and a place to return to, no matter what.

talent? absolutely not. he waves his hand and shakes his head at her, chuckling lightly at her teasing. “now, you gotta let me hear your rapping voice some time!” gray replies instead, looking over to his niece to see if his comment aroused a reaction. it did. the young girl’s eyes start to shine, hopping up and down, she grabs the idol’s hands and asks: “you’ll rap for me next time, unnie?” sweet revenge, gray thought to himself, while surpressing a grin.

there are countless tiny actions that people take each day that lead to many other countless actions, going on and on and so forth that there is no way that life can be predictable. she doesn’t know the exact combination of different choices she’s made on this day that lead to this current interaction between herself and gray and his precious little niece, but she’s glad she’s ended up where she is now because it’s been a calming experience, cleansing, washing away all of her doubts and insecurities, even if only for a moment. in a way, she feels like she was meant to meet eunchae.

she narrows her eyes when gray shakes his head at her comment, frowning at him as she wags a finger. “hey, hey, none of that!” she says, forming a fist with her hand to knock it against his head gently. she realizes how hypocritical she sounds when she says this, seeing as how she, too, can get quite down on herself and her own talents, but she had told him that compliment in complete seriousness, even if she had said it in a joking tone. “don’t sell yourself short!”

— counting sheep

“of course! a little known fact about me but i am a great instagram girlfriend!” not to be pretentious, but she has never taken an instagram picture that failed, especially not for other people, and especially when that other person is as pretty as joohyun. then again, she doesn’t know that many people who are as pretty as joohyun in general, so maybe that theory is still to be tested. she believes in her own abilities though, and she doesn’t think she would fail anyways. yeri is still in her thoughts when she sees the other girl’s sudden change of expression, so fast that she wondered if she imagined it at first. but she’s sure she saw something, and she wonders if this is all a lot for joohyun, suddenly getting thrown into a group and a dorm. she knows it was difficult for her to be away from joy in the beginning as well, and she spent plenty of nights crying to herself as she looked over old pictures from their time as roommates. “does your sister live close? you should invite her over sometime! we can make food and have a party. or i mean, i probably won’t be making the food, but tell your sister that’s a blessing! i’ll help wash the dishes afterwards.”

“oh, great idea!” her mouth opens in a wide smile as she images the two of them with matching pajamas, posing in one of the bedrooms. she thinks the fans would absolutely love it. “i have this cute hanging thing on my wall next to my bed, maybe we can take a picture there! i want to post it on instagram, don’t you think that would be kind of fun?”

she takes the pink pajamas in her size, draping it over her arm once she gets joohyun’s approval and looks toward the other girl. “the red ones?” she looks between her groupmate and the clothes, nodding enthusiastically. “this would look great on you!” yeri takes the pajamas from joohyun, already walking over to the cash register to pay now that the girl agreed, so there’s no time for her to change her mind. but she stops suddenly in her tracks when she sees a shelf filled with plushies in all different shapes and colors. “joohyun!!” she calls to the over girl, excitement in her voice. “look how cute!! let’s get one of these too!”

“no, not too far,” she says with a decisive shake of her head. “she’s just over the river in itaewon. maybe a ten minute drive?” she’s about to ask why yeri is asking, but then she follows up with a suggestion that joohyun is honestly shocked she hadn’t even thought of. though, to be fair, part of it is because she wasn’t even sure it was allowed. even with being in the group for a few months now, things still aren’t as clear cut as she would like them to be concerning their freedom to do as they please, and she thinks it better to err on the cautious side than get in trouble again---especially now after those articles that had been written about her. “do you think i can? i bet she would love to see the dorms! and maybe we can order food because i definitely can’t cook either...”

she lets out a small laugh, nodding her head with a smile at yeri’s enthusiasm over the idea. it would certainly go over well with fans, especially those who still have to get used to her presence in the group, but most of all it would serve as a great memory for them to look back on. “oh yeah, that sounds like a great idea! plus my side of the room looks terrible right now. i haven’t really had time to organize it...”

❝ — you’ve piqued my pinterest ,

Haseul wondered sometimes if she was the best person to have Joohyun move in with when she was trying to get used to being in the group.  Sure, she was friendly with the newcomer, but she knew it was a little hard to get to know her, since she was kind of withdrawn sometimes, kept to herself a lot, and was quiet. She wonders if the transition would have been easier for her if she had been put with any of the other girls instead of herself, but it wasn’t too late to change that, right?

So with the other bringing up a suggestion at one point to look up recipes on pinterest, it certainly caught Haseul’s attention.  She loved to cook and Joohyun seemed to be interested in practicing more herself, so she jumped on the opportunity to try and make up for their currently not so close relationship.

She knew that Joohyun was out in the kitchen getting everything prepared as she scrolled through her phone, looking at their upcoming schedule, waiting for the other to come back.  Lifting her head, she gives Joohyun a smile before sliding off of her bed to the floor.  “Um…  I’ll take the cupcake one, I think the cherry one suits you more for some reason,” she said, taking the cupcake one happily from the other.  “What are we going to make first?”

“right? don’t you think so?” joohyun replies with a wide smile, handing haseul the cupcake apron as she presses the one with cherry print against her own body. she’d always been keen on red, and the little flourish of a flower just speaks to her tendency of being a little extra. she wastes no time putting it on, sliding it on over her head and then tying the strings behind her back, all the while leading haseul back toward the kitchen.

“well, i was looking at a few recipes...” she says, walking over to the counter where she’d set everything up, picking the tablet up off of its stand so she could show haseul what she was looking at. not only were there so many different types of desserts they could try to make, but there were also an endless amount of designs to try out. the internet can be a wonderful place for getting ideas and inspiration, but it could also be a bit overwhelming, the latter of which making it hard to choose. in any case, she pulls up three recipes she’d been trying to decide on, leaning over so she could show them to haseul.

Overheard

@rkjoohyvn

Haseul really did think she was alone in the dorm, or she had been the last time she had noticed, anyway, so she decided to take that time and reach out to her family to catch up as she really hadn’t had much of a chance to do so lately.  The first and only call that shemade was to her older brother, she hadn’t seen him in a while and she wondered where he might actually be.  Come to find out, he was over in Busan for the day meeting with a client, but he was all done for the day.  “Hey do you have grandma’s address?” he asked her, “I’d ask mom and dad, but you know they’d say I should have it and this is easier.” “Oh yeah, just a sec, I’m going to put you on speaker phone, but it’s just me here. I’ll get it from my desk,” she said, leaving her phone on the bed, going over to get her address book and coming back to lay on her bed again, going through the pages.  “Hmm… where is it…?” she muttered, flipping through pages.

“ So what’s up with you lately anyway? You getting enough rest?” he asked, filling time while she looked it up. 

“Yeah, I’m doing alright!  Practice is tough, but I’m sleeping enough, and no, before you ask, not too much,” she laughed. “Ah, I think I found it…” she heard the door to the bedroom open up just as she found the address, seeing Joohyun come in. She waved to her roommate and attempted to take her phone off of speaker, but as usual, her and technology don’t always mix.

“So you find yourself a girlfriend yet?  I know, I know, no dating, but c’mon there’s lots of pretty girls in that company of yours, or even other idols?  There’s got to be some girl out there you like.“

Haseul froze in fear as she know there was zero way that Joohyun hadn’t overheard him on speakerphone. “O-Oppa… I’ll… um.. I’ll  text you grandma’s address in a bit. I gotta go, okay?”  she might not have been able to figure out how to take it off speakerphone, but she at least knew the big hang up button.  She quickly pressed it and looked over at her roommate.  “H-Hey… um…” she really wasn’t sure what to say or do.

it’s not often that joohyun makes it back to the dorms before their leader comes and collects her from the practice rooms after training, but for some reason, she began to feel a little unwell in the middle of practicing choreography, dizziness overcoming her. she had been convinced she was about to pass out but managed to find her way to a bench and wait it out before heading home. in retrospect, it probably had to do with the fact that she’d skipped both breakfast and lunch that day, with barely a snack in between save for the sips of water she’d have during the short breaks she’d allow herself. it had been a long time since she’d worked herself that hard, and now she remembers why.

the dorm is quiet when she arrives, but the lights that are on alert her that there’s at least someone home, which relieves her for some reason. leaving her shoes at the door, she drags her tired body and her bag toward the room she shares with haseul, glad to find that her roommate is the one that’s home so that they can just veg in the room together. she’s on the phone for the moment, though, so she makes her way to her own bed as quietly as possible, placing her bag down on the ground slowly.

once it hits the floor by her bed, though, she overhears something she probably shouldn’t have heard, and it’s only made more obvious by the way that haseul freezes and stutters as she ends the call. of course, she has no problem at all with haseul being gay, but joohyun isn’t sure it’s something the younger wanted her to know, if they were even at that level of friendship yet.

but the last thing she wants is to make haseul feel uncomfortable or like joohyun views her as any less than what she’s always thought of her---a bright and talented young woman with such kindness in her heart that it brought warmth wherever she went. so she smiles as gentle a smile as she can muster, awkward laughter involuntarily pouring out of her lips.