I don't know what I want. I've learned to not want, especially on your birthday. People will never meet your expectations, so give your expectations to your self. I want to continue to become a softer and kinder person. I hope I am able to find a way to be a soft and considerate soul but somehow keep my fiery personality alive. Is that possible?
I hope I find more balance and peace, genuinely. I want to be kinder to my body, and more patient with my brain and soul. I want to be less judgmental, and more compassionate. I hope I can start to figure out who I want to be. I went to Wyoming in July and I didn't know my soul could feel that at home. Sometimes I would just start crying cause of my contentment and amazement. I want more moments like that, where I am so overwhelmed in how happy and content I am that I can't help but cry from how beautiful it feels.
I hope 29 gives me more confidence in my body. I know I lost a good deal of that, and I am happy I lost my fixation on weight and food. However, there is a healthy medium in between fixated and unconcerned and I need to learn that middle ground. I deserve to take care of myself like that and to not feel frivolous putting time into making myself look and feel good. I deserve to feel like the beautiful 29 year old woman I am. And I shouldn't feel guilty about that.
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