@(・●・)@

I ordered a blonde flat white from Starbucks while on my break and the barista must have been having a long day bc he goes “that would be my stripper name” and there was like five seconds of dead silence between us before he looked up realized he said that out loud

You tipped right

i put 20 bucks in his hand and told him to pocket all of it

Iconic historical stage designs for The Queen of the Night sequence from Mozart’s “Magic Flute” - the first image by Karl Friedrich Schinkel in 1815, the second by Simon Quaglio in 1818 (x)

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

guy: so yeah, like, its Alice In Wonderland but with a dark- me: [already asleep]

where are my museum gift shop memes

Hey, creative pals! Pass it around! @pikapeppa @schoute @kauriart @bitchesofostwick @dickeybbqpit @drellvhen @inquisitorsmabari @cullenvhenan @gingerbreton @norroendyrd @magpiesandmabari @dirthara-mama @kvpowers @bohemiantea-scorpiocoffee @ocean-in-my-rebel-soul @allisondraste @merilsell etc etc

funniest april fools prank ive EVER done…………..ok imagine youre my dad. you walk into the kitchen and your plucky little daughter offers you a mug of orange juice, barely containing her giggles. you look up and see a gallon of orange juice next to a bottle of windex with the cap removed & a thing of epsom salt. you grimace and say, “honey is there anything in this?”. she laughs, looks evasive, and says “noooo…….”. you’re a good and maybe overly-people-pleasing person so you decide to pretend all is well and take the tiniest, tiniest sip of the juice. she immediately laughs and says “APRIL FOOLS!!!”. you run to the sink and spit it out with dramatic flair. shes laughing. you turn all serious now and say “honey i know you like making jokes but cleaning supplies can seriously–” and before you can finish she takes the mug and polishes it off. there was nothing in the mug but juice. i FUCKING got him

can we appreciate that OP’s dad was gonna drink windex just so his daughter’s joke would land?

yeah my dads nice and dumb i love him

how did you get in there.

how did you get out of there