destino y divino

mi plan n nu name !!! Yay private blewggggg blog

let me find my voice she said, let me find my voice.she scrambled through her purse, pushing aside the pink clear lip gloss and headphones. bits and pieces of lint and crumbs stuck her fingers as she pawed through her bag. still nothing. my voice has to be somewhere, she thought checking the small pocket on the side of the bag. nothing. this is just great she cried silently to herself, I'm not sure where my voice went and now im stuck here all alone. it was the middle of the night, her apartment was effortlessly still and quiet. the cars whirred below and you could barely see the stars. Bianca sauntered to the balcony, tossing her bag at the couch. she was prone to losing her voice. she lost in when she dated men, changed her order at the Italian restaurant her friend loved so much, and she talked to her mother. but she didn't do any of those things for some reason. she actually was keeping a healthy attitude about it all. she went to the gym, ate well, focused all her mind on her studies. occasionally, she went out to see friends (no Italian resrtuant). but why today out of all days, she loses her voice today? her arms dangled from the balcony as she stared across the horizon. Bianca eyes gently closed, as she came in and out of sleep. her eyes closed, snippets of memories came to her. there was hands around her, an ice cream, a child's cry, and the local park blurring in her mind. it came fast and sudden, Bianca's eyes opened wide - she knew where her voice was. she grabbed her purse from the couch and slipped on her worn out nikes and head out the door.

silence ensues in my apartment everything settles including my heart I come to wonder if I've always been like this serene and full of air in my lungs every move counts I've felt removed bunt hopefully now I don't have to be. I can be used to this anonymity - for once I can concrete on what really matters what really holds my heart when only a small candle burns in the middle of the room

you suffocate me sorry I'm actually in a committed relationship, with myself like you would know left me in out in the cold I don't even want to talk the amount times we've spoken could have but I'm glad we didn't it's not like your words would matter turning inside out, I render the look in your eyes when you turned away from me

ruminations of the past tug at my ear sometimes quick to step on my feet - the future forward I can't help but linger slightly and my heel draws back where I wished you could see my face, my eyes wrapped in silk, I laid

coldness in my hands, anguish tightens my neck if only I tried harder I could do things right trying harder means trusting that when I take time and put in the effort and care what I do what I think

I am running towards the sun with grass tracing my legs the sky is full and blue openness calls I am young

it's me it's always been about me mirrors as walls glisten even in darkness turning myself inside out as I scry for answers the smooth edges of the frames tend to break if I push too hard Deriving from my own senses, I wonder and wait I don't want to draw myself if that means if I only work during eclipses I guess I* shouldn't mind the partial light and dark that graces herself before me why can't I enjoy the simpler things I am so accustomed to weary motives If I accept light - I become afraid of the dark I stand in the shrouds of silence, stillness Light becomes too much but this isn't new for me this vertigo I induce it myself so why am I so afraid?

a trembling lip a past remembrance shivers down my spine how I forgot what it was like to slow down and indulge teary eyed my makeshift and tender nuanced versions of myself fit so effortlessly in and out malleability is truly so beautiful and bountiful