Another Crazy Internet Stalker

Summary:

“Do I know you from somewhere? Or maybe I’ve just been dreaming of meeting you my whole life.”

Or, the one where a chance encounter leaves two women thinking that this is just the beginning of endless possibilities.

Notes:

Here’s the thing they don’t tell you about growing up.

As you get older, and move away from things like school, and the clubs and organizations and teams that tend to go along with that period in our lives, it can become harder and harder to meet people and have a social life. It’s natural, I think, that we drift away from some relationships as time goes on, but what I’ve found snuck up on me in the last five years or so especially is that the rate I was losing relationships was overtaking the rate that I was forming new ones. I’m not married. I don’t work in an office with hundreds of other people. I don’t have kids. My neighbours are primarily all in a different generation than I am. 

I grew up in the church, which was a major source of my social life when I was younger, but even before I came out and got out of that lifestyle I found myself feeling more and more the outsider because of the aforementioned lack of kids and spouse. I subscribe to the theory that online fandom is very similar to a church community, but at the end of the day as great as online friendships are, it’s hard to go check out that new restaurant down the street with your friend who lives on the other side of the country.

I’ve always been someone who throws myself into things, and allows my passions to become obsessions. I mean, I’ve spent over fifteen years in fandom, what more do I need to say? In my day to day life, however, this has sometimes given me workaholic tendencies. Now I wish I could say it made me a hyper disciplined workaholic who became wildly successful, but that is really, really not the case. At 32 years old I still feel like I’m figuring out what I want to do with my life - and in the back of my mind I’m more and more aware that my life is really almost half over already, and what do I have to show for myself.

With that said, I also know that if I’m depending on my job to find fulfillment in life, I’ll never be happy, not even if I stumble onto the “perfect” job.

So I’ve decided it’s time to go on a quest. 

A Quest To Find A Life.

So far on this quest, I’ve committed to six sessions with a personal trainer (not to get thinner but to find more energy), found a Fandomish meet up in my city where I can meet face to face with fellow geeks, and found a choir to join to bring some musical expression back into my life. Now, you’ll notice that all these things are things I’ve signed up for, but have yet to actually do.