biscuits are meant to be buttered

Xiao: Hold, I must ask Rex Lapis

Death: That’s not how—

What I like even better is the idea that the prince did not request Hallmark Guy Fieri, but his executive assistant misinterpreted his request and imported Hallmark Guy Fieri, and the Prince was about to be like CAST HIM INTO THE OUTER DARKNESS but then he tried his cooking and was like “Well he’s obnoxious but I guess he can stay, we’ve never had food that good at a royal banquet.” 

THEN you get to have the arc where the Prince slowly figures out that Hallmark Guy Fieri is a specific strain of himbo, where he’s loud and weird and unmannered but also respects everyone and is kind and shares food and promotes on ability rather than on ability to kiss ass. 

A ROYAL COOKOUT CHRISTMAS, coming to a Hallmark Channel near you, it’ll be the Bomb Dot Com. 

“I could never be with him...he’s not trained to represent the state. He has no manners.”

“With all due respect your highness, the people love him.”

“They what now.”

“They think he’s refreshingly honest, and they find him very amusing. He’s spent a lot of time out in the countryside, you know, asking people about the local produce and livestock. He isn’t importing a single thing for the banquet, he’s been buying all his supplies from regional farms. And he has some very intriguing ideas about no-footprint goat farming.”

“....where did he learn about goat farming?”

“I presume he asked some goat farmers. He has also brought an entire gaggle of grandmothers into the palace to teach him our local dishes.” 

“How did they feel about that?”

“He gave them a tour afterward, they seemed to enjoy it.” 

“He gave them a tour of my palace.”

“I can’t say it was historically accurate but it was deeply entertaining.”

“Vizier, did you go on this tour?”

                 — ɪ’ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʟɪᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʟᴀꜱʜɪᴇꜱᴛ ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴘᴏꜱꜱɪʙʟᴇ —

A little rest after a hard day of training ((:

super sad to hear that iscribble is closing down TT  i made a lot of cherished memories/ friends there.. not to mention how much it helped me improve my art TT