rillawafers

After an inappropriate amount of time on Weibo and the Chinese equivalent of Yahoo Answers, I present the greatest of my findings:

Nicki Minaj - 麻辣鸡 (má là ji): a slant transliteration of “Minaj”. Means spicy chicken (ma la is a spice combo commonly used in Sichuan cooking).

Taylor Swift - 霉霉 (méi méi): derived from 小霉女 which is itself a pun on “pretty young lady”, but replacing the word for “pretty” (美/mei) with an abbreviated version of “unlucky” (倒霉). Chinese fans gave her the nickname after a string of her singles failed to make it to the top of the Billboard 100.

Justin Bieber - 碧波姐姐 (bī buó jie jie) - Sister “Bi buo”, a hyper-feminine transliteration of Bieber; more commonly 凉凉 (líang líang) which I can’t figure out at all.

Drake - 公鸭 (gōng yā): Literally “male duck”, as in the definition of a “drake”. I laughed out loud when I finally figured this one out.

The people that are slightly turned on and very confused

The people that are unashamed and direct

The countless marriage proposals

The even more countless amount of people that have decided this is what they’ll be this year for halloween (The idea of having raised an army of Gandalfs in fishnets is honestly fantastic)

The unanimous agreement that this is the only acceptable sexy halloween version  of a costume

The innocent numerous cuties that think it’s Dumbledore (shh don’t tell them)

Tons of new cute messages saying I’m cute/hot etc (I’m glad you could all see beyond my hot grandpa beard wow)

The amount of new followers hey I love you all I’m glad my legs made you stick around