🌌H🌌

Why do I keep grieving this wrecked thing that we’ve become?

Why do I keep hurting when I think of your eyes?

We’re friends

We get along just fine

But when she kissed you

she knew

I met your gaze

Then I

Shoved myself past your friend

And asked you your name,

And I

Kept forgetting it that night

But you still held my hair back and

Asked if I was alright

Before I knew

We were

Back at your place and

In your bed

You pulled me closer and

Somehow I felt safe,

And then I gave

With no regret

You and me

In that bed

Strangers then

I still remember everything

You said

Sometimes when I’m in my head

I don’t know if I want you back

And

Sometimes when I’m in my head

I still wonder if you want me back

I met his gaze

Then I pulled him down

To hear me ask

If you were here

And he pointed fast

To where you stood, so close to me

After months of

No replies and

A heart that bleeds

Before I knew

I was crying on your shoulder

And you had told me

That we were over

And before you left

You pulled me closer

With no regret

You broke me

In the place we met

Strangers now

I still remember everything

You said

Sometimes when I’m in my head

I am certain that I want you back

But

Sometime when I’m in my head

I‘m still not sure if you miss me back

Haven’t been to that place

It’s been months, soon years, decades

In which I’ll never

Manage to erase

All you did

All you were

And how you kissed my face

Cause sometimes

When I’m in my head

I wonder if I’d take you back and

Sometimes

When I’m in my head

It still hurts to know

You don’t want me

I remember dark nights

Before I met you

Drinking, dancing with strangers, Raging, forcing, forgetting, until my life was bruised in blue

I remember the dark night

When I met you

Laughing, dancing, talking, cuddling, kissing, until the darkness turned to soft hue

I remember dark nights

While I met you

Screaming, crying, blaming, laughing, lying, the light you relit slowly dying

I remember the dark night

The last time I saw you

Empty excuses, confessions, I’m useless, begging and breaking, until you ended taking

The love that I have

For you…

You don’t want it anymore

I was shit at it in the beginning,

But I am getting better at it.

Now every once in a while I still fall even after months, even after years.

Ever since that night, exactly one year ago today, when I first saw you in that club. And I was so wasted that I kept forgetting your name. I bet you don’t ever remember that. I’m also starting to forget little details that I used to remember about our time together. It’s a little over five months now that we’re over, really over, but I am finally okay.