rie 𓏵

Near the staircase, Hyein was there sitting on one of the steps. Her head hung down low, muffling the quiet sniffles escaping from her lips.

She was crying.

You had only been passing by on your way to your classroom on the second floor. You hadn't meant to intrude.

But seeing Hyein—the school's model student—in such a vulnerable state. You couldn't just walk away and forget you ever saw her sitting there.

Luckily, you were carrying a bottle of apple juice. You had planned on drinking it yourself, but giving it to someone who clearly needed it more didn't seem like a loss.

Slowly approaching her, you say "Um... here.”

You held the bottle out toward her with both hands. "You look like you could use this.”

Startled, Hyein slowly looked up.

Her eyes were red and glossy, traces of tears still clinging to her cheeks. For a second, surprise flashed across her face—as if she hadn't expected anyone to come this way. Realizing she had been seen, she quickly wiped at her eyes, desperately trying to erase any evidence that she'd been crying. “Oh um, I don't need it...”

"Please," you said, gently pushing the bottle a little closer. "I insist.”

Silence settled between the two of you.

After a moment, Hyein carefully accepted the bottle.

"...What's your name?”

“Uhm, it's Yn, Yn Ln…”

"Thank you, Yn." Despite the redness around her eyes, she still managed to give a small, genuine smile. "You didn't have to do this.”

"N-No!" You waved your hands in embarrassment. "I mean... I wanted to.”

She stood up, brushing off her skirt before wiping away the last of her tears. "Sorry for making you see me like that, Yn.”

Walking past you, she heads to the direction you'd just come from. And after taking a few steps, she suddenly stopped.

Turning back with a small smile, she gave you a little wave. "See you."

"Y-Yeah..." You returned the wave, feeling your face warm. "See you too.”

–––

That small encounter should've ended there.

At least, that's what you thought.

But ever since that day, whenever you happen to see each other, she would greet you. It began with simple waves in the hallway, then brief chats before class, and eventually having lunch together whenever your schedule happened to line up with hers.

Years passed and before either of you could realize it, you had become each other's closest friend. Then Ian and Woojin appeared, which then formed the friend group you adore so much.

Now, you're walking beside her, heading to where you would wait for the bus. The letter, still engraved in your mind. You don't know what to think. You always don't.

"Hey Hyein.. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

You turned towards her, and hesitated for a moment. “So, hypothetically.. if Seonghyeon confessed to you, how would you feel?”

“Huh, me? But didn't he give you a lett–”

“I-it’s just a hypothetical..!” interrupting her, your cheeks flushing.

“Uh huh..” Hyein narrowed her eyes suspiciously before letting out a small laugh, “Well.. hypothetically, I would reject him.”

“Really?” You blinked, surprised by her answer. “Why?”

“I mean, sure, he's good-looking,” Hyein admitted with a shrug. “But, the way he treats girls who confess to him is kind of off-putting.. He always seems so cold about it.”

“Ah.. I see.”

Both of you continued to walk in silence. The silence between the two of you wasn't awkward—it was normal for you. Yet even after returning home and closing the door to your room, your mind refused to settle down.

Hyein is your best friend, you couldn't just hate her because the letter that was placed under the desk, his desk, was meant for her.

No, you weren't that kind of person.

But it hurts. It hurts knowing you let yourself believe that there is actually something going on. Now, all you can think about is how embarrassing it was to be in that situation.

Should you continue responding to his letters? or should you just stop?

I don't know. It's always I don't know.

–––

Today's the day. You walk through the hallways towards the lockers. Nervous, that's what you felt.

You finally reached the row of lockers, took a quiet breath, and tried to steady your trembling hands. His locker was only a few steps away.

And just as you were about to walk over–

You suddenly froze.

There he was.

Seonghyeon stood a short distance away, pacing in front of the lockers. His brows were furrowed as he glanced around the area, as if he was searching for something or maybe someone?

Your heart nearly stopped.

Out of all the times he could be here, why did he have to be here now?

Then, he turned around. His eyes immediately landed on you standing there, hands gripping your bag, they're still trembling from being nervous. Your breath caught on your throat. He saw you.

Processing what's happening, the panic immediately overwhelmed you, you quickly try to walk back, desperate to get away. Why is he here? Why now?

When suddenly– A warm hand grabbed a hold of your wrist, making your body come to an abrupt stop.

It was Seonghyeon's hand. "Wait..!"

You turn around, and was met with his face. You responded meekly "...Yes?"

"You- You're Hyein's friend, right?"

"..I am." You gave a small nod.

"Well uhm..." He hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck as if he wasn't sure how to ask. "Have you... heard anything from her lately?"

The uncertainty in his voice caught you off guard. You had never imagined Seonghyeon, the boy you've been crushing on since first year, who always seemed so composed, looking this uneasy.

Oh. So he likes her that much, huh.

After a moment of silence, you offered him a small but reassuring smile. Despite the gnawing feeling in your gut, you didn't want him to be upset, that's what you always are.

"...I'm pretty sure she'll write back."

His eyes lifted to meet yours. For a split second, the worry on his face seemed to ease. The curves of his lips seemed to lift up as he heard those words come out of your mouth.

It was small but it still reached his eyes, softening the anxious look he had held just a moment ago. It was the kind of smile that appeared only when someone was genuinely comforted.

Your breath hitched. He looks so good, just smiling like that.

"...You think so?" he asked, a flicker of hope crossing his face.

"..Yeah." Lies, that's what you told him. You already know that Hyein basically has no interest to be with him.

But seeing him smile like that, you can't help but feel guilty. Perhaps you'll find a way, a way to keep that smile on his face. Even if the person who could keep it out was never going to be you.

You had promised yourself you wouldn't write another letter. Not after that day. Not after learning that every word he had been written on paper was not for you, it was for your best friend.

Near the staircase, Hyein was there sitting on one of the steps. Her head hung down low, muffling the quiet sniffles escaping from her lips.

She was crying.

You had only been passing by on your way to your classroom on the second floor. You hadn't meant to intrude.

But seeing Hyein—the school's model student—in such a vulnerable state. You couldn't just walk away and forget you ever saw her sitting there.

Luckily, you were carrying a bottle of apple juice. You had planned on drinking it yourself, but giving it to someone who clearly needed it more didn't seem like a loss.

Slowly approaching her, you say "Um... here.”

You held the bottle out toward her with both hands. "You look like you could use this.”

Startled, Hyein slowly looked up.

Her eyes were red and glossy, traces of tears still clinging to her cheeks. For a second, surprise flashed across her face—as if she hadn't expected anyone to come this way. Realizing she had been seen, she quickly wiped at her eyes, desperately trying to erase any evidence that she'd been crying. “Oh um, I don't need it...”

"Please," you said, gently pushing the bottle a little closer. "I insist.”

Silence settled between the two of you.

After a moment, Hyein carefully accepted the bottle.

"...What's your name?”

“Uhm, it's Yn, Yn Ln…”

"Thank you, Yn." Despite the redness around her eyes, she still managed to give a small, genuine smile. "You didn't have to do this.”

"N-No!" You waved your hands in embarrassment. "I mean... I wanted to.”

She stood up, brushing off her skirt before wiping away the last of her tears. "Sorry for making you see me like that, Yn.”

Walking past you, she heads to the direction you'd just come from. And after taking a few steps, she suddenly stopped.

Turning back with a small smile, she gave you a little wave. "See you."

"Y-Yeah..." You returned the wave, feeling your face warm. "See you too.”

–––

That small encounter should've ended there.

At least, that's what you thought.

But ever since that day, whenever you happen to see each other, she would greet you. It began with simple waves in the hallway, then brief chats before class, and eventually having lunch together whenever your schedule happened to line up with hers.

Years passed and before either of you could realize it, you had become each other's closest friend. Then Ian and Woojin appeared, which then formed the friend group you adore so much.

Now, you're walking beside her, heading to where you would wait for the bus. The letter, still engraved in your mind. You don't know what to think. You always don't.

"Hey Hyein.. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

You turned towards her, and hesitated for a moment. “So, hypothetically.. if Seonghyeon confessed to you, how would you feel?”

“Huh, me? But didn't he give you a lett–”

“I-it’s just a hypothetical..!” interrupting her, your cheeks flushing.

“Uh huh..” Hyein narrowed her eyes suspiciously before letting out a small laugh, “Well.. hypothetically, I would reject him.”

“Really?” You blinked, surprised by her answer. “Why?”

“I mean, sure, he's good-looking,” Hyein admitted with a shrug. “But, the way he treats girls who confess to him is kind of off-putting.. He always seems so cold about it.”

“Ah.. I see.”

Both of you continued to walk in silence. The silence between the two of you wasn't awkward—it was normal for you. Yet even after returning home and closing the door to your room, your mind refused to settle down.

Hyein is your best friend, you couldn't just hate her because the letter that was placed under the desk, his desk, was meant for her.

No, you weren't that kind of person.

But it hurts. It hurts knowing you let yourself believe that there is actually something going on. Now, all you can think about is how embarrassing it was to be in that situation.

Should you continue responding to his letters? or should you just stop?

I don't know. It's always I don't know.

–––

Today's the day. You walk through the hallways towards the lockers. Nervous, that's what you felt.

You finally reached the row of lockers, took a quiet breath, and tried to steady your trembling hands. His locker was only a few steps away.

And just as you were about to walk over–

You suddenly froze.

There he was.

Seonghyeon stood a short distance away, pacing in front of the lockers. His brows were furrowed as he glanced around the area, as if he was searching for something or maybe someone?

Your heart nearly stopped.

Out of all the times he could be here, why did he have to be here now?

Then, he turned around. His eyes immediately landed on you standing there, hands gripping your bag, they're still trembling from being nervous. Your breath caught on your throat. He saw you.

Processing what's happening, the panic immediately overwhelmed you, you quickly try to walk back, desperate to get away. Why is he here? Why now?

When suddenly– A warm hand grabbed a hold of your wrist, making your body come to an abrupt stop.

It was Seonghyeon's hand. "Wait..!"

You turn around, and was met with his face. You responded meekly "...Yes?"

"You- You're Hyein's friend, right?"

"..I am." You gave a small nod.

"Well uhm..." He hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck as if he wasn't sure how to ask. "Have you... heard anything from her lately?"

The uncertainty in his voice caught you off guard. You had never imagined Seonghyeon, the boy you've been crushing on since first year, who always seemed so composed, looking this uneasy.

Oh. So he likes her that much, huh.

After a moment of silence, you offered him a small but reassuring smile. Despite the gnawing feeling in your gut, you didn't want him to be upset, that's what you always are.

"...I'm pretty sure she'll write back."

His eyes lifted to meet yours. For a split second, the worry on his face seemed to ease. The curves of his lips seemed to lift up as he heard those words come out of your mouth.

It was small but it still reached his eyes, softening the anxious look he had held just a moment ago. It was the kind of smile that appeared only when someone was genuinely comforted.

Your breath hitched. He looks so good, just smiling like that.

"...You think so?" he asked, a flicker of hope crossing his face.

"..Yeah." Lies, that's what you told him. You already know that Hyein basically has no interest to be with him.

But seeing him smile like that, you can't help but feel guilty. Perhaps you'll find a way, a way to keep that smile on his face. Even if the person who could keep it out was never going to be you.

You had promised yourself you wouldn't write another letter. Not after that day. Not after learning that every word he had been written on paper was not for you, it was for your best friend.