Ridiculously Immature

Ever fall just a little bit behind? Like, you’re just hanging out on Tumblr, keeping up with the latest, and then suddenly there’s like A MILLION posts that just came up out of nowhere! And now you have to play catch up! This post is fortunately not like that at all. But there ARE two videos to watch! And maybe a food pic!

Maybe.

Perhaps.

........

Or maybe not.

......

The food pic is there.

But it’s in your mind....

https://youtu.be/FX62SXL7_2c

https://youtu.be/CDwvDwEfKvE

There really isn’t anything quite like steak burritos and videos. Both are delicious, complex, and ultimately satisfying. Do you think if I ate a video, I’d be able to watch a burrito? I think I should try that sometime.

Enjoy!

https://youtu.be/fLcdeMJSMAM

The other day I became some churros. Sweet, greasy, delicate. I tasted especially good with chocolate sauce, but only when I wanted chocolate sauce. That’s the thing about chocolate sauce: sometimes you want it, sometimes you don’t, and sometimes you eat it because you have become it. I wish the world could all become churros and chocolate sauce. But only if they wanted it.

Enjoy a video!

https://youtu.be/ElKP25FkHjk

Ever notice that quesadillas are a lot like life? It’s folded up, filled with cheese and meat, tastes delicious, but then it’s over too soon. Oh, quesadillas, why must you be so profound?

Guess I can just eat more.

Enjoy a video!!

https://youtu.be/70D-eWuD0d4

O! Shrimp Alfredo! Where have you gone!

You were here, right next to me. We spoke under the tree.

We told each other stories. We shared our deepest dreams. We said we’d never leave each other.

But now, what has happened? You are no longer under the tree. My tree friend time is now lonely. Where have you gone? Where have you gone dearest Alfredo friend?

.......

You were delicious.

To talk to.

My waffle looks like Pac Man. However, I ate the Pac Man waffle. So does that make me one of the ghosts....

Or a cannibalistic Pac Man??!!

Enjoy a video!!

He was very kind, but I wondered why he was here. He posited a question that has admittedly left me stumped and wondering the vagaries of life. He asked, “Am I really a carnitas platos rancheros, or just a pile of shredded meat and sauce?” It was something I couldn’t answer. Then he looked at me again.

“Yum,” was all he said.

We NEED to get waffles and coffee action going on RIGHT NOW.

That is all.

Eggs are a miracle. So much packed into such a small space! Unless it’s like an ostrich egg or something. Then it’s so much packed into such a larger space. Do you think I could fit inside an ostrich egg? There’s a pretty solid way to find out! The adult ostriches would probably be pretty mad though...

Enjoy a video!

Ever notice how videos are kinda amazing? They seep in through your eyeballs and then sit directly in your brain, growing and maturing. And then they influence your brain and sometimes change your life forever! I guess what I’m trying to say is, videos are like deadly invasive parasites that enter your body through your eyes.

Enjoy this video!! :)

But does cheese dream of me? Or does cheese simply dream of cheese? Am I a mere projection of cheese’s unconscious desires and demons? Is all of reality just a thin fabrication of cheese’s grand design and genius. Does The Cheese deem me fit for salvation? Am I a good person in the eyes of Our Lord Cheese? It’s thoughts like these that make me wonder.

I think you do! Right? Yes? Yes. Yes, you do. You must eat cake. Like right now. I am putting a slice of cake in front of you and you must eat it. Right now. RIGHT NOW!!

Okay, fair point that you smashed it into my face.

Especially videos about chips and dip! Did you know that chips and dip can help your mind achieve multidimensional transcendence along with telepathic properties? Neither did I! But wouldn’t you know it, I had some chips and dip the other day and suddenly there I was, transcending multiple dimensions and telepathically communicating! Let me tell you, whatever you think people are thinking across all possible universes, it is SO MUCH WILDER THAN YOU THINK.

Enjoy!

Because I have some. :)

Now I want a pickle hat!

I smell great!!

I met a cursed, unspeakable demon yesterday that granted me one wish. I wished I could be a gila monster and the cursed, unspeakable demon obliged. I’m not sure how I’m actually typing this or why I still have the very human motivation to write on Tumblr, but rest assured I am, indeed a gila monster now. It’s pretty cool, actually. I’m large, I’m reptilian, I live in the lovely desert all day, and, most important of all, I am badass. Like, I have a venomous bite. Did I have a venomous bite when I was human? No! I certainly did not! So, you know, pros versus cons, I’m thinking I really like being a gila monster, despite the weirdness. I’m sure that’ll resolve in time, though.

Hey, anybody got any mice or insects lying around? I’m feeling a bit peckish.