( some triggering content may be present ! change pronouns to suit. )
i can’t believe this is my life!
why do you have to be such a megabitch?!
praise jesus, hallelujah.
i left him drunk and flailing in cow shit.
how do i turn off the god damn bomb, asshole?!
there’s a new sheriff in town!
fuck me gently with a chainsaw, do i look like mother teresa?
hey, don’t worry about it.
maybe it’s time to take a vacation.
oh my god! i just killed my best friend!
our job is being popular and shit.
i was coming up here to kill ya.
all we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits.
i’ll tell everyone about tonight.
well at least you got what ya wanted, ya know?
when teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it’s usually because they are being treated like human beings.
you want a clean slate as much as i do!
monday morning, you’re history.
i know you understood everything.
greetings and salutations.
they all want me as a friend or a fuck.
it’s more tasteful than it sounds!
i’m gonna have to send my sat scores to san quentin instead of stanford!
do you think that just because you started this thing you can end it?!
i just want my high school to be a nicer place.
you know what i want, babe?
i’m on my way to a party.
why are you pulling my dick?
i have no control over myself when i’m with [name]!
this stuff leaves a bad taste in my mouth…
it is one thing to want somebody out of your life, it is another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer!
you want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly.
i don’t really like my friends.
i don’t really like your friends.
i can’t believe you did it.
my teen angst bullshit has a body count.
suicide is a private thing.
you teach people how to spread their wings and fly?
why can’t you just be a friend?!
if you were happy every day of your life you wouldn’t be a human bein, you’d be a game-show host.
i’m worshiped and i’m only a junior.
today was great, chaos is great! chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.
i’ll kill you, i’ll fucking kill you, i swear to god!
did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?
excuse me? i don’t get it.
that funeral yesterday must have really been rough, huh?
the only place where different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven.
you were nothing before you met me!
what are we gonna tell the cops?
everybody’s sad… but it’s kind of a weird kind of sad.
lick it up, baby! lick! it! Up!
are we going to prom or to hell?!
real life sucks losers dry.
just how do you think adults act with other adults?
i’d like to know exactly what i did!