Uhhhh

i need to go on a life changing road trip. i need to be put in a tupperware container and shaken. i need to get into a homoerotic fist fight outside a church. i need to be buried in the ground and forced to dig my way out. i need to change my identity and fake my own death. i need help. there is nothing wrong with me. i'm the most normal person alive. nobody has ever been more fucked up than i am. the passage of time is an illusion. i am wasting my life. i am never going to die.

yesterday i listened to a podcast stephanie allynne was on and she said at one point before they started dating she wrote tig this long email pouring her heart out about how she really liked her but they couldn’t date because she was straight and tig just replied ‘okay dyke’ and i’m still screaming about it

for important context, they are indeed married now

The last time I went to Jamaica, a Nigerian cab driver told me and my mom that his sister gave birth to a fully clothed baby. Shoes and all.

You deleted my caption :*(

Wolftopia is nearly the size of Saturn and orbits two stars that closely orbit each other!

fuck you *unvirgins your olive oil*

don't you come anywhere NEAR my olive oil

anyone who was an ugly girl in middle school has incredible social perception now. like no other life experience trains you to spot fake niceness like that