Life Moves Pretty Fast

“what are you gonna do, cry about it?” yes . the fuck

why are scissors packaged the way they are it’s like they’re taunting us. Oh wow this is such a difficult awful packaging to get through that seems to cause physical damage to your hands as some sort of sick self defense mechanic, if only i had something to help get through it, something sharp perhaps

At all times I am filled with a berserker like rage but thankfully for everyone around me I am much too tired to do anything with it

Being a flop changed my life. The world is not my oyster, I am glowing. I walked into a pole this morning. There's very little I wouldn't do for $1,000

i hate it when the ball is in my court get that shit out of here

Being on Tumblr is like being on a website

theres always that one friend that really likes bill hader a lot