Exhausted Professional Hugger

Muffled voice from inside patient: “Tapeworm”

August 2020 Illustrations ヽ(• ‿ •)ノ

did you know? the clown emoji and the heart-eyes emoji had a baby and that baby was m e

Don't do drugs, smuggle turtleducks instead

@les-bi-honest666 stop being funnier than me

What will he buy

what will SHE buy

those are exceptionally large numbers

its mash potato

Better suited here than any other package

amy_simba on ig

**Editing to add: I now know that this was said by Lindy West in her book The Witches are Coming. Good to know! 

i voted then and i’ll vote this time too, but don’t try and tell me there’s not a pattern here.

https://www.topherpayne.com/giving-tree?

the vet measured junta on sunday, and as we were leaving the assistant said “he wrote down the measurements for you” and passed me this