Shiryo Armand De Los Reyes

Now was not the time for a lesson in patience. He could not control his eager heart when he had a carrot dangled in front of him. A karat that now sat on his finger two spaces from where he wanted it to reside. Never before had his finger felt so bare and exposed and Cassius felt compelled to hide it to protect it’s decency. Which he did as he tucked it under his mug for added support. It felt cruel having his patience tested and his devotion called into question like this. 

“So that’s a no then,” Cassius stated plainly cutting through Shiryo’s metaphors and symbolism. Patience wasn’t a virtue a vampire could impose on a human. Especially not when Cassius knew he’d be but a blip in Shiryo’s timeline. Death do us part only applied to him and Cassius had no desire to be kept in waiting for years or even decades to be formally betrothed to the vampire. Hope was an emotion he’d only began to let into his life and he wasn’t about to let it be extinguished by a mere ring.  

“If I have done something to make you question my devotion to you please speak up otherwise I would like for you not to question my faithfulness towards you,” Cassius responded. He didn’t have centuries worth of lovers under his belt. He didn’t even have any proper lovers prior to Shiryo but there wasn’t a doubt in Cassius’s mind that he’d want to spend every last breath of his as a companion for the vampire. 

Shiryo’s brow cinched. Cassius’s words cut through the tension like a hot knife through butter, and the tip of that knife was pointed at Shiryo’s heart. He’d had much time to think about the subject, and knew the young human’s impatience would flare up and demand answers. He hadn’t planned for that to be today, but perhaps it was time to stop treating him like a glass figure and speak to him as plainly as he seemed to desire. The vampire set his tea down, amber eyes flicking towards Cassius.

“Allow me to be perfectly clear. I have had centuries to think about this, and I will not marry a mortal. I will not subject them to aging alone, watching as the world around them withers and I remain the same until they resent me for it,” he said, lips closing for a moment and jaw clenching.

“I haven’t a reason to question your devotion and faithfulness to me, and for that I thank you. But I don’t wish you to become an automaton. I don’t want you to follow me blindly. Imagine your own funeral. Are your affairs settled? Have you imagined your death? Have you imagined who would mourn you? Have you imagined what life would be like if you never stepped in the sun again, always hungered and could never quite sate the feeling, or imagined what it felt like when food you loved most turn to ash in your mouth? Have you imagined what life would be like when you could not attach yourself to any living creature knowing that you would always outlive them and carry them in your memory for all time? I don’t question your devotion to me, but I question your comprehension of what you ask without asking.“ He never raised his voice, but his words carried a frustration behind them. Cassius had the gift of life, and Shiryo wanted him to experience it to the absolute fullest.

Cassius absorbed the instructions as he took the cup back to one of the parlor chairs. He watched as the color emerged as the flower slowly uncoiled itself. Cassius was reminded that to open up one must bleed, even in the simplest of scenarios like having a spot of tea. He took a moment to watch as the swirls of amber spread. Unfortunately that was the only lesson he’d learned from the flower that warmed his hands. It would have been wise to wait until the flower had opened before he broke the silence but there was a thickness in the air and he was all too aware of the fact that he was the only who had to breathe. 

“You do not have to add anything,” Cassius prefaced as he looked up from the tea towards the vampire for a brief moment. Green eyes scanning for a signal not to continue that never came. Cassius didn’t give Shiryo a chance to respond before he continued. “But if you were to ask me that question. My answer would be the same. Yes,” Cassius confirmed. He felt an overwhelming amount of embarrassment bringing up his faux pas once more but he wanted it to be clear to Shiryo his answer hadn’t been rash. It was something he thought about in private quite often and the answer never wavered in his mind. Cassius did not have an old heart like the vampire. His was young and dying and time wasn’t on it’s side. “And I will continue to love you all the same even if that day never comes,” Cassius added before he washed down the knot that swelled in his throat. The flower had yet to fully bloom. The tea tasted diluted. 

Cassius has much to learn.

Not only about himself, but about life, death, and the cycle of all things. He was impatient still, Shiryo noticed, watching as he pulled the tea to his lips prematurely. It was a tantalizing, tempting notion for Shiryo, to bind himself to Cassius and allow him to live out the rest of his days just as he was.

But Shiryo saw potential for more. The idea of a life eternal with the young man before him curled like weed that needed pulling, and yet he left it there, taking root in the back of his mind. But Cassius was far from ready for such a thing to materialize into a solid idea in the vampire’s consciousness.

Cassius has too much to learn.

“What, may I ask, makes you so certain that twenty or thirty years will pass and your mind will not change, little sparrow?” he asked, bringing his amber gaze up quietly for a beat before letting it drift back down to the kettle before him.

Cassius easily could dwell. It was his birthday after all. He could cry if he wanted to but he knew better. Cassius always knew deep down his ultimate devotion was not a two way street. It never could be because even if Shiryo loved him until his last dying breath Cassius knew the vampire would live on and once enough time passed Shiryo would find the spark again. Still the vampire loved him presently and Cassius felt the warmth from it in every glance and gesture the other preformed. Today was no exception and despite Cassius not enjoying celebrating his birthday he knew Shiryo had put in efforts and he didn’t want it to go in vain despite the guilty pain that swirled in Cassius’s heart. 

Cassius collected himself and after a little investigating collected all the wrapped presents hidden in the room and brought them with him as he left Shiryo’s room. Cassius thumbed a ribbon ideally as he sought out where the vampire would’ve gone. Despite having such a large estate Cassius only ever found Shiryo in a handful of spaces and after venturing towards the office was unsuccessful Cassius found the vampire making tea. Cassius watched for a moment thankful that Shiryo gave him a moment and didn’t immediately acknowledge his presence. 

“May I have some,” Cassius asked finally as he walked to a chair and sat down holding the gifts from Shiryo’s room his lap. 

Shiryo didn’t know ho much time had passed before Cassius finally peeked his curly head into the parlor. He could feel his presence, and caught his scent long before the door opened, but he would allow Cassius the space to approach him of his own accord. Shiryo felt remorseful that he’d embarrassed the other, and it hadn’t dawned on him that part of his own erroneous human nature still remained as intrinsically tied to his being as his memories did.

Cassius was thankful Shiryo didn’t smother him in any more conversation. Everything had already been said without words and truthfully Cassius didn’t want to vocalize the blunder. He already felt embarrassed enough having not listened to Shiryo’s words more closely from the start and naturally internalized it as his own fault. Though he was sure whenever Bryce heard word of Shiryo’s delivery he would have a much different take on the matter. Gifting a ring along with the words “as long as we both shall live” only ever had one meaning in this day and age. Perhaps 200 years ago when gifting of rings was more common place that’d be a different story and one that didn’t hold his contemporary lover in it. 

Cassius nodded his head allowing Shiryo to kiss him though he didn’t embrace him any further. He didn’t want the conversation that was bound to occur happen yet as he watched Shiryo leave his own chamber to give Cassius the space he needed. It was rare he was given unadulterated access to this sanctuary without the vampire pleasant but he was hardly in the mood for snooping. He didn’t even open the present he saw waiting amongst his underwear as he got dressed in an all black ensemble before flopping back on the vampire’s bed. He couldn’t resisted the urge to punch the pillow out of frustration as he focused on processing the beautiful protection ring on his finger. 

Shiryo could feel the thickness of Cassius’s frustration when he left the room. The usual energy of joy he could sense was gone, replaced with a muted disappointment that he could only hope was brought on by his embarrassment and not despair that the vampire wasn’t asking for a marriage proposal. Shiryo had never really given that much thought, and part of him secretly hoped that Cassius would one day stop loving him to spare him from the eventual heartbreak of watching him grow old, wither with the sands of time, and die while Shiryo was left behind to roam the world alone for all eternity.

Unlike his partner Cassius did not share Shiryo’s mastery of subtly and despite his desire to hide his emotions to a fault Cassius couldn’t conceal how crestfallen his demeanor changed feeling the perfect fit of the ring on his index finger. Every action of the vampire’s was calculated and measured precisely for it’s intent. Cassius was the one mistaken and his elation and excitement he’d initially felt rotted and in it’s wake sprouted feeling of embarrassment and heartbreak and nerves. That while only expressed minutely were very much so present in Cassius’s now rigid disposition and he did not fling himself into Shiryo’s arms like he’d anticipated. 

Truthfully Cassius struggled with how to react. After all he loved and appreciated the intended purpose of the gift he still felt exposed accidentally revealing his desire and readiness to make those promises of forever and always more than just immortal bedroom talk. Though time wasn’t on his side and within a blink of an eye he was forcing himself to respond. “I love you,” Cassius replied automatically admitting his loss of words. “Please excuse me,” Cassius vocalized with honesty that came out of desperation as he placed a parting kiss on Shiryo’s forehead before getting up from Shiryo’s roost and towards the dresser that now held an array of his own clothes. 

Shiryo felt foolish for having approached Cassius this way not having been more direct about what the ring meant. His attempt to be romantic seemed to flop when Cassius realized that this wasn’t in fact an engagement ring, but a protection amulet. He realized his error and briefly wondered if he could remedy it by actually proposing, but their relationship was much more complicated than that, and he didn’t want Cassius to make a choice like that so soon in his life and in their relationship. Even if he did love Shiryo enough to say yes right in that moment.

Cassius had only ever dreamed of this moment. His thoughts and feelings on the matter were scribbled out on paper and promptly burned so his desire was kept secret. Though any time Cassius thought about a proposal he’d never picture it occurring quite like this. Or truthfully so soon. 

Cassius knew he was devoted to the vampire. The moment he walked through the doors of the estate he made himself his for as long as the vampire would have him and once he had learned of Shiryo’s secret he was ready to give the vampire his forever even if the immortal wasn’t able to return the gesture. 

He felt overwhelmed as Shiryo presented the ring and had he not been caught so off guard he might’ve listened to what Shiryo was saying with a more critical ear and realized that the ring was merely a replacement for the amulet and not an engagement ring. The subtly in Shiryo’s wording had been lost on him and Cassius couldn’t keep from seeing the traditional symbolism of a band. 

Cassius was speechless for a moment as his eyes looked from the ring to Shiryo whom was still unclothed and pure in front of him and back down. “Yes,” Cassius answered with a crack. His voice already getting choked up as he reached for the ring which slipped through his butter fingers and fell in the bedding. “Yes,” he repeated again as shaky hands felt through the covers to find his most prized possession. 

Shiryo was confused for a moment as to why Cassius was saying yes, and why he had such a sudden burst of shaky emotion. He felt a pang in his chest, not having realized what he’d done until that moment. Cassius believed this was an engagement ring, when it was simply a protection amulet, and he doubted himself, wondering if he should’ve chosen a necklace or a bracelet instead. Shiryo found the ring and took it between his fingers, scooting closer and taking Cassius’s hand.

He brought it up slowly, kissing his knuckles, then bringing his amber gaze back up to the other. “I am glad you have accepted my protection once more. No one has worn this ring before you, and no one shall wear it after. You carry a piece of me with you always.” He was flattered that Cassius would want to marry him, but this was not something they were remotely ready to discuss. He slipped the ringer over Cassius’s index finger, once again hoping that the subtlety of the gesture would drive home the point that this wasn’t an engagement ring, exactly. Not of the wedding kind, anyway.

“It is too close to Christmas to be celebrating anything right now,” Cassius grumbled. His entire life he had Christmas and his birthday lumped together if they were celebrated at all. It was really only the vampire who made a point to make the distinction and quite frankly he sounded too chipper about it in Cassius’s opinion.

Cassius had a distain for his birthday. Though there wasn’t really a particular reason for it. His 23rd year around the sun as a whole hadn’t been entirely traumatic despite most of the year had been spent with a spirit voyeur leeching off him. What youth he still had on him was chiseled away to reveal his sharp jaw and his muscles once covered with baby fat were lean and toned and Cassius felt he grew more and more into a man worthy of being at Shiryo’s side.

“You would be mad to have gotten me 24 presents. You gave me nearly that many barely two days ago,” he reminded the vampire. Not to mention the fact that Cassius received gifts constantly through out the year. He never had to want for anything and it was a privilege Cassius was constantly humbled by. “You’ve already given me more than I could ever need,” he insisted when he finally rolled over onto his back and went through the unceremonious process of stretching, scratching and yawning required until he was ready to think about getting dressed for the day.

Shiryo smiled when Cassius pointed out the shower of presents he’d gotten from the vampire over the course of the last week or so. He would give Cassius the moon if only he asked for it, so the mountain of gifts was the least he could do until that day came, if ever it did. He watched Cassius rolling onto his back and stretching, committing the moment to memory, as he did anytime Cassius did anything, really.

Before Cassius could think about getting up, Shiryo reached into the night stand’s drawer and pulled out a small box. Over Christmas, he’d given Cassius a long, black gold chain with a matching black gold bat pendant on it, and now he had something else Cassius could hang on it, if he so wished. Or he could wear it on his finger. He sat up, crossing his legs and facing Cassius, his thick black hair looking a little messy for once.