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Do prisoners actually want/enjoy those penpal programs? Because it seems like such an easy thing to do if it helps them but like with all things prison system related or possibly white savior esq feels I wonder if there's a catch
Ask me about incarceration!
YES.
Oh my god, yes, people are DESPERATE for penpals. Prisoners apply to join those programs and most have years-long waiting lists before they can get matched. These are people who are socially deprived and often feel like no one on the outside even knows they're alive. They need to talk to someone in the "real world" outside of prison.
The big catch is that it's a HUGE commitment - not easy at all. If you become a penpal, you are most likely going to become that person's primary emotional support. If they've got 7 years, you better be ready to do 7 years, keep up with it, and set boundaries for frequency. The absolute worst thing you can do is over-commit, burn yourself out, panic, and ghost them. That happens, and it's devastating.
That said, if you're willing to take that on, you could change or even save someone's life. I'll put more guidance on things to consider if you become a penpal below the cut.
One alternative that's come up in my community, which seems like it was a really low barrier to get started, are card writing events. Before holidays (even things like St. Patrick's day and 4th of July - anything Hallmark has a card for), the group will do a pop-up at a local church. They provide names of incarcerated people who have requested holiday cards, as well as donated greeting cards. They recommend that you write as much as you can - about anything. I once described the scenery on the drive I'd be taking to get home for the holidays, and I bet you anything the recipient read it ten times, because that's how much they crave contact. The nice thing about a program like this is it avoids that long-term commitment. I would love to see more of those crop up around the country.
A prison penpal will most likely, at some point, ask you for money. Financially supporting someone in prison is a lot - incarceration is disgustingly expensive - and you will have some complicated emotions about your level of comfort on the outside compared to theirs, what you're able to give, what you want to give, if you're being taken advantage of, etc. You have to set boundaries with them and yourself before you begin - decide on a number that you're willing to give, and stick to it.
You also have to set relationship boundaries, especially if you're a woman writing to a straight man. Again, these are socially deprived people. Not being allowed to interact with any women for years at a time does not cultivate appropriate behavior. They're lonely, and you will seem like the Only Woman In The World, and that tends to lead to some feelings that can be uncomfortable for the penpal.
You also have to think about your return address in terms of boundaries. Most people in prison will get out someday, and they will likely have very few connections or resources on the outside. Unless you're willing to have this person show up at your house asking for somewhere to live, you might need to go through a program that lets you use its address or get a PO box. You'll probably feel conflicted and gross about that, too, but again, supporting a whole grown person is probably more than you're looking to sign up for when you become a penpal.
When family ties are strained or absent, a penpal becomes a lifeline for mental health. Having that outlet provides a crucial connection to the outside world, fueling the desire to improve oneself and keeping the hope of returning to civilian life alive
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My name is Dalton. I was born and raised in Central Florida. I come from a good home both parents, two younger brothers.
Shortly after graduating high school, I got heavy into meth and K2. I was even part of the tweaker community on Tumblr. Unfortunately these things were introduced to me by an older crowd of teens who I looked up to at the time, and that was were my down falls all started.
My addiction led me in and out of county jail for years mostly petty drug charges.
About a decade into my addiction, I started playing with guns.
And meth + firearms only leads one place.
One night, I made a stupid decision. I shot into a house and hit an innocent person. I was charged with Attempted Murder.
After 2 years in county jail, I signed a plea for 25 years mandatory. They wanted to give me life so Alhamdulillah, I was spared.
When I got to prison, I went right back to drugs. For the first 8 months, I was just as lost as I was on the streets.
Then I had a visit with my family.
Seeing the disappointment in their eyes and the look on the mother of my childās face changed something in me.
On January 4th, 2024, I got clean.
It hasnāt been easy. Life actually got worse shortly after I quit.
But I made a decision:
I will face whatever comes sober.
Even if everything falls apartā¦ my life wonāt end with me being a junkie.
At my funeral, someone will be able to say:
āHe overcame himself.ā
But now I want more than that.
I want to leave prison and be successful.
I refuse to become a statistic.
So this is gonna be a blog about a guy that guy is me doing time in the Florida Department of Corrections.
Iām 33 years old and currently 5 years into a 25-year sentence for Attempted Murder with a firearm. According to my release date (March 12th, 2046), Iāll be 53 when I come home.
Over these first 5 years, Iāve experienced my fair share both fair and unfair of adversity. Iām currently on a CM bid, and during this time of isolation, I came to a realization:
Iāve been doing my time wrong.
Iāve been focused on the wrong things. I kept telling myself I needed to get through my struggles firstā¦ and then I would work on becoming better.
But now I understand I need to better myself while going through the struggle.
So this blog is going to document that process.
My goals.
My progress.
My failures.
My thoughts.
My workouts.
The books I read.
What Iām learning.
Youāll see my steps forward and my setbacks.
This is my life.
Iāll try not to be boring.
If you have questions or comments, feel free to post them.
If youāre a hater I wonāt respond.
And I want to give a huge shoutout to my sister-in-law for managing this blog for me.
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