Revolver

Noah let out a small sigh as be walked inside and sat across from the other. Unsure of what to do or say. “It’s going to be okay..” Noah finally said to break the silence. “I’ll be be here with you every step of the way. I promise.” He didn’t want to push fr the other to open up, so he just stayed there, letting Asen know that when he’s ready to talk, so is Noah. 

"My Dad left when I was three.” He began his eyes still trained at the floor. “ I.... I barely remember his face and I couldn’t really tell you how he acted. All I know is he was there one day, a few arguments with my mum the next day, My Mum had just had Yanna, so it was the three of us from then on...” He paused, looking up to make sure the other was still listening, “I realized my Dad left because of me when Mum was drunk one night. She came into my room and woke me up... Pulled me downstairs into the basement and locked the door. No blankets, no pillows.. No food... Just cold concrete. I thought, maybe she’d wake up sober and wonder where I was but it only got worse. The next time I saw her she brought a dog bed and told me to be grateful and then... She... burned me with cigarettes and .. and... The rest of the words were on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t go into gruesome details. Instead he just sighed and put his head in his hands.

Asen’s words confused Noah,. he didn’t know if the boy was angry or sad, either way he felt horrible and just wanted to fix things. Knocking on the door he let a small sigh escape his lips, “Please open up.” He practically begged, just wanting to hold him. “We can talk and you can tell me about your parents and I’ll listen and still love you because my love for you in unconditional.” He assured the other, just wanting to do anything he could to reach the other. “We’ll get through this together. With me by your side. I promise. You’re worth so much more than these drugs.”

the door creaked open  and there Asen stood, eyes focused on the ground as his rusty blonde hair  was thrown in all different directions,  he squatted down below in order to sit on the cream tiles that belonged to his bathroom floor. His greenish blue hues stared at one particular tile and refused to move. He made no noise or sudden movements. Not to talk, to blink, nothing.  This would be the first time he was going to  open up about his parents- his mother’s torturous abuse to any one except his sister.  and he wasn’t quite sure if he was ready for it.

“You should, and I mean he did but that was my fault. I was extremely eager at the moment so I can’t say anything. Foreplay makes it hot yeah, but I kind of just wanted to get him out of my system.” She said with a shrug and no shame. “Nah, I’m pretty sure there’ll be a round two. We just aren’t gonna plan it. You know how I am, if anything I have his number.”

“Yas, girl get it in!” Jennaly exclaimed, low-key proud of her friend “. -- But why did you let him in if you wanted him out, I’m confused?” With that a shrug and a sigh came from her, “Now I gotta get laid, shake my head.”

“Weird.” She chuckles softly, but doesn’t mean it in a rude way. It must be weird for him to have someone else living in his childhood home. “Green tea huh?” She inquires with a slight brow lift. She really prefers lavender, but Green never hurt anyone. The way he had expressed how nice it was making her acquaintance, made her feel like he had more important things. Like a proper dismissal, which was fine, she’d probably get to know her neighbor another time. “Oh– y-yeah nice to meet you too.” She gives a small smile, awaiting him to open the door so his other hand is free and she can return his groceries. “You can call me by any of my names, they all sound like first names anyway. My middle name is Emeli, but I wouldn’t mind tea.” She graciously accepts his invitation. “Perhaps I’ll stay for dinner, we’ll see.” She adds while allowing her eyes to ask for entry into his home, before she steps in to carry on assisting with the groceries.

“It is really. I guess I just wasn’t ready to  let go..” He said gently, taking another look at her home  before replying to her question, “Yeah, I drink it straight because It’s got the most health benefits-- I get   sick a lot, so I have to keep everything functioning right. It’s not as bad as every one says it is.” Of course, he liked the brand Private Selection, which offered a citrus variety of Green Tea, but he understood with his experience with Lipton that Green Tea had a bad reputation. He nodded as she told him what was appropriate to call her, but being as indecisive as he was he had to ask“So, either River or Emeli? Which do you prefer?”He apused for another breath as he widedn the door for her to come in, “Thanks for considering it, and also for helping me. I call  don’t really get the chance to talk to people so sorry if I come off a  little strange..”

“ it’s alright. i’m s u r e people do, he seems to have a lot of cash — but he’s not that cute, no offense. i have my eyes on someone else, anyway. ”

“ None taken, He’s  an ass anyway.. - Wait, you’re crushing on some one? Who?”

Joey laughed at her friends reaction, leaving a small smile on her face as she replied. “He was pretty hung, thats true for sure but theres not that many details, it was pretty quick. Like 20 minutes basically.”

"Judging you so hard, Joey.  Did he skip all the foreplay? That’s what makes it interesting!” She shook her head before pinching the bridge of her nose, a laugh slipping from her pink lips prior to her picking up her phone, “So did he ask for round two or is it just awkward now?”

He wasn’t expecting the reaction he got. He’s seen Asen angry before, many times, but never like this. Noah hadn’t done anything wrong, or at least that’s what he thought. His heart felt heavy as he listened to the other yell. “Please stop..” He finally spoke up, his voice soft like normal. “I just want to make sure you’re safe, that’s all.” He explained, standing outside of the door with a hopeless expression. “This stuff isn’t good for you. You shouldn’t be doing it. There are other ways to deal with whatever you’re going through. You don’t have to talk to me but there are other people. Other things.” He explained, a sigh passing him lips as he felt his eyes begin to water, “Please believe me.”

"No, no, no.” He said covering his ears, his voice had gone down  to a mere whisper now. He knew that Noah could convince him to get actual help-- To kick his addictions but Asen didn’t want that. Drugs were quicker, easier, cheaper than going to a psychiatrist. He also loved the high that came with cocaine, and the drowsiness that came with heroin. Drugs were not only his escape but a part of his daily routine. “Noah, it’s too late.” He said, his back sliding against the door, “Do you know how long I’ve been on this stuff? Do you know why i’m on this stuff?” He fell silent again, “Of course you don’t. You don’t know me. All you know is ‘Asen the rockstar’ -- Right? There’s a reason I don’t talk about my parents-- Why the only family member you’ve met is my little sister and why even she doesn’t talk about our parents...I...” He punched one of the cream coloured walls, anger beginning to surge through his veins once again, “And yet you still claim to love me when you don’t even know who I really am, Noah. S’why you should’ve left a long time ago and never fucking came back.”

“Okay so I know you told me not to, and I promised I wouldn’t but like I might have slept with my neighbor? You have to cut me some slack, he’s built like a fucking brick and I was slightly intoxicated.” Joey said embarresed, looking over for the others reaction. 

“Oh Geez.” Nelly said, resisting the urge to shake her head. “Don’t worry I’m not judging you, s’not like I’m any better-- So, details, at least from what you can remember.-- Was he big?” 

“Oh I didn’t think you were staring at me.” She admitted with a sweet smile over her shoulder. “Tea huh? What kind.” She playfully looks into the bag as she nears his door. “Of course Noah Dean, seeing as how you’re my neighbor and all.” She concludes while reaching his door. “River Blaine, nice to meet you.”

“I, uh, used to live in that house when I was little.” He said, returning the smile. “Oh,  it’s Green.- Green Tea.” as they reached his door, Noah paused to wet his lips before putting his key into the door and turning the handle. He’d wonder if she’d like to come in but also didn’t want to interrupt her day any more than he already had.  “Well it’s nice to meet you Ms. Blaine.” He smiled again, on the other side of the spectrum, it had been so long since Noah had any real communication with regular people. He took a deep breath and turned to her, “River, if I may call you by your first name, would you like to come in? For tea-- Or dinner...?”

“ that’s what your flippin’ out about? i wasn’t flirting with him, believe me. i think it’s the other way around — and if you couldn’t tell, i’m not interested. “

“ ...-- Look. M’sorry.  Just-A lot of girls...- They go after him for money and it’s not like Asen cares but still... it’s...I don’t know. Sorry for freaking out. “

            “Your inspiration is the loss of absolutely everything.” 

           “And what is that supposed to mean?”