38 Coffee Dates

So.... I know longer have to work with Mr. Hot & Cold!!!! I am starting a new job tomorrow and am feeling so much more hopeful about life. Wish me luck.

Mr. Hot & Cold didn’t hesitate to insist on a goodbye hug(that was SUPER tight and long and his chest was blatantly pressed against mine--so much so it almost hurt my boobs) but when I told him he had my info and new how to reach me if he wanted a drink sometime he came back at me with his work email.

Mr. Tease(aka Mr. Hot & Cold) is a sad immature and neurotic man... He is the king of inconsistent behavior. He’s only into women that are unattainable/aren’t into him. He can’t let go of his ex and he flirts plenty with those he should not have. He plays games and likes to taunt nice girls who like him for the sake of his ego. THANK GOD I don’t have to see his sorryness 5 days a week any more! 

Date number 2 happened the day before Valentine’s Day. He is a friend of a couple I have known online and at conventions for years. We had been Facebook friends for about 9 months before finally meeting in person. I enjoyed talking to him a lot. Though he is not my type he was very funny and charismatic and an attraction was definitely there. I felt the chemistry was mutual but... He texted me afterwards when I got home and told me I “made” his day.

The things that left question marks in my head were that he drinks every day and a lot and strong as liquor drinks. Also, he believes in corporal punishment and humiliation of children is ok. I do not. If I were to accidentally get pregnant with his child I would not want to have to worry about hiding our child from him because that is what would happen. If he were to touch my baby I might kill him. He also took the liberty(without knowing me) to use language and phrases that made me feel extremely uncomfortable. Not sure if he was testing me or trying to make me “squirm” for his own pleasure but that shit turns me off. You EARN the right to use foul language and bawdy phraseology in front of me; you don’t just assume you are entitled to it just after meeting me!

He did not text me on Valentine’s Day nor I him. When I texted him on 2/16 he used more colorful phrases that made me feel uncomfortable... And then never responded to my texts until 5 days later. That was his death knell. I am not a desperate girl. If you blow me off and show me inconsistent behavior I won’t sit around wondering why... I will RUN LIKE HELL...

So, date number 1 happened right before Thanksgiving. He was a really cute guy that I met at a party. I met him through some mutual friends who are friends with his friend.  I was really attracted to him because he made me feel calm when I was around him and he seemed really sweet. We connected on Facebook and we communicated back and forth on there for about a month. 

I initiated all of the conversations.I suffer from social anxiety and when someone I do not know that well talks non-stop(especially for two hours like on this date) I start to get panicky after the first hour. The caffeine didn’t help either. Though he is very smart and sweet my panic had me ready to bolt out the door after two hours. After our date, I told him to let me know when he wanted to hang out again(so that he could initiate this time). He never initiated anything. We are on friendly terms and still Facebook friends. He is a nice guy but he made no effort. I am looking for a man not a mouse.

LESSON LEARNED? No mutual initiation or effort from the man will result in my loss of interest. That is an automatic fail.

I am 42 years old. I am a single woman. I have never experienced a relationship where I am in love with/love a man who is also in love with/loves me. I have wanted love all my life and have been hurt so many times that I can no longer visualize it happening in my mind.

I have had an on and off crush on someone for almost three years. It is something that can never come to fruition as I would like. I have also recently discovered that he is Mr. Hot & Cold and has some intense issues. Again just things that are making me even more skittish than I already am. And trust me, this is very much his loss. He is a very sad little man and has proven himself to be nothing more than another disappointment...

Dating takes so much effort. My current job and everything about my current life drains me so I never feel like making an effort any more. I also have very limited time to devote to dating. And men are so puzzling and so different. All the ones I have known have either been disappointments or just painful. I can’t imagine meeting someone that is actually worth while who actually enriches my life, is the bigger person, truly cares about me and loves me and who is honest with me.

For so long, I could not imagine why I was so unlucky in finding love. I have reached the point where I just don’t even think about why or if or how... I don’t care as much. One of my best friends told me that finding a good man is a lot of work and if you don’t go on dates you won’t meet them. She says that it took her 38 coffee dates to meet her husband...