ReverieBlueWrites

Sadness, along with fear, can be a big part of a character’s development. Today, let’s look at some ways the body can naturally cope with hard things, as well as how a person might express sadness verbally. 

 Before we start, I’d like to say that if you are suffering from any kind of sadness or grief, you are not alone. And I wholeheartedly mean that. If you are in need of any kind of emotional support, even if you don’t think it’s that big of a deal, please contact the crisis lines for your area using this website. I believe in you, and know that you are capable of amazing things! 

Body Language/Actions

Standoff-ish look, staring off into space

Disconnected from environment 

Emotional outbursts (”tipped” over by everything)

Sleepy, or excessive sleeping

Not getting enough sleep

Changes in appetite (Overeating or undereating)

Nausea 

Not taking care of responsibilities (For themselves or others)

New or increased use of substances and/or alcohol 

Slouched posture

Furrowed or inner brow raise

Lowered or “Hanging” head

Looking down

Stopping regular activities (not taking part in hobbies or daily happenings)

Not enjoying things that were enjoyable before. 

Denying - Pretending everything is fine

Difficulty concentrating

Not taking care of personal hygiene/Cleaning living spaces 

Staying home, not participating in group events

Less socializing, online and/or IRL (pushing people away)

Pessimistic behaviour  

Verbal Habits

Sensitivity to topic - when brought up, a person may start crying, yelling, etc. 

Wavering voice/stuttering (use realistically and in moderation!)

Speaking slow

Lower pitch

Trailing off - not finishing sentences

Lying (In response to questions they’d rather not answer)

Not focusing or participating in conversations

Giving single word answers/responses - “I wanted to go to the store today to pick up some oranges. They would be perfect as a decoration on the cake, don’t you think?” “Sure.” 

 Monotone voice

Pessimistic comments or views

Changed speech patterns - using simple words when normally they would be using sophisticated language, or not saying as much as they usually do. 

“I don’t know” or “leave me alone” in response to questions regarding their feelings or health. 

Thank you all so much for reading! I hope that this post can be a quick reference for you. As always with these posts, make sure you understand you character well so their personality can be consistent, and really empathized with these traits and habits. Happy Writing! 

You may of heard about passive and active voice, but may not fully understand them. I know I didn’t for a long time, but it’s actually pretty important if you want to up your writing game! In the English Language, there are five characteristics a verb will have: Voice, tense, mood, person, and number. Today, we’ll be looking at voice! There are two voices for verbs, passive and active. 

Alright, so what is active and passive voice?

Active Voice is when the subject of a sentence performs the verb. Still confused? Let’s break down an example sentence:

The ballerina twirled on the stage.

As you can see, the ballerina (subject) is performing the action “twirl” (verb). Making sentences with this in mind will allow for stronger, and more clear thoughts.

On the flip side, Passive Voice is when the subject is being performed on by the verb. Not clicking? That's okay! Example sentence to the rescue:

The stage was twirled on by the ballerina.

So what happened here was that I put the verb before the subject. That’s not always a bad thing, but in most cases, it creates a wordy, weak, and unclear thought. Because of the way I wrote that sentence, I needed to add a new preposition (by), another verb (was), and another article (the). That’s a lot of unnecessary words! If I added any describing words to this sentence, it would look incredibly messy. On top of it all, the placement of the verb makes it appear as if the stage is the subject when that’s not what I intended. This could easily confuse any readers!

So as a general rule of thumb, passive voice is most likely going to be a weaker, messier sentence. However, let me show you an example of when passive voice may be the better option.

Here’s my example in active voice:

The cop caught the criminal.

In this sentence, it looks as though the cop is the subject. What if I wanted the criminal to be the subject instead? I’d use passive voice.

The criminal was caught by the cop.

It’s still a little wordy, but now it looks like the criminal is the subject, which is what I wanted!

Now, how do we change a sentence from passive to active?

It’s actually quite easy. The first step is to identify the subject in your sentence.

The precious jewels were hidden away by the innkeeper.

The subject in this sentence is supposed to be the innkeeper, but I haven’t written it in a way that makes that clear. So, I’ll switch the position of the subject and the object, like this:

The innkeeper hid the precious jewels.

There! It’s clear who the subject is, what the verb is, and what the object is. Plus, I got rid of some cluttery words. But what if your sentence doesn’t have a subject, like this one?

If there are reservations, call ahead.

While it does have a subject, this sentence could become much clearer if we identify the subjects. How about this?

If you have a reservation, call ahead.

This sentence is better because it outlines who will be making the reservation (you).

Hopefully now, you’ll be able to decide which voice fits best for your sentence, and how to change from passive to active voice. Thanks a bunch for reading, and happy writing!

(Short Story)

A year ago, if you asked me what time I got up in the morning, I’d say nine, maybe ten. I hate getting up. I hate peeling myself from my warm bed, only to be tossed in a cold shower and forced to change from soft sweatpants to stiff jeans. 

But one morning a year ago, as I sat outside finishing my morning coffee, I saw you. The reason I looked at you in the first place was your weird outfit: A baby blue t-shirt, and a matching sailor skirt over top some cute knee high socks. But instead of wearing, I dunno, dress shoes or some cute boots, you wore these beat up red Air Jordans. 

I tried not to stare, because I knew it was rude. It really threw off your whole vibe, at least I thought so back then.

The next day it was sunny, so I sat outside on the porch again. I was about ten minutes late this time, and just as I opened the front door I saw you walking down the sidewalk. That day, you were wearing a pretty green dress with a floral pattern on it, again with the dirty Jordans. I thought you looked kinda weird, but I didn’t look away.

The third day, it was a little easier to get up in the morning. I wasn't sure why. 

I poured my coffee and sat on the porch. Somehow, I found myself staring up the sidewalk, looking for you. Sure enough you came, again wearing another super cute feminine outfit with those beat up Jordans. I guess by now, you started to recognize me too. Your deep brown eyes met mine, and panicking, I quickly waved. You smiled bright at me and continued down the sidewalk. My goofy smile stayed stuck to my face until I couldn’t see you anymore. 

A whole year went by, and I spent my mornings the same every time: We shared a wave, maybe exchanged hellos if I was feeling confident, and then you were on your way wearing those dirty red Jordans. 

One morning, I had the courage to ask you why you wore the same shoes everyday. I immediately regretted it, because it was a stupid question. Probably a rude one, too. Maybe even creepy. 

But you didn’t seem to mind at all. You laughed, looking down at your shoes. 

“These were my brother’s shoes,” you said, pointing a foot at me so I could see. “I like them a lot, so I wear them.”

“Fair enough,” I smiled stupidly, happy you didn’t think I was weird because of what I said. “They are pretty comfy shoes.”

You laughed, then waved goodbye. 

Little did I know, that was the last time we’d see each other. The next day, you didn't pass by my house. Or the next day. Or the day after that.

Getting up is a lot harder now, and I guess it’s because I don’t see you anymore. Who am I kidding? Of course it is. Anyway, if you see this, I want you to pass by my house again sometime. Maybe, if you have time, I mean. 

I miss you, girl with the Jordans!

Everyone will feel fear every once in a while, and it’s an important part of many character’s development. Let’s take a look at some body language and speaking habits of a person who is afraid!

Body Language (External Threat)

Humans are very complex, as I'm sure you know. There are usually two ways people may react to an external threat: Fight or Flight. Make sure you know which one your character is before choosing some traits!

Keeping a bigger space between them and the “threat” (Backing away)

Heart beating faster, rapid breathing

Crossing legs/arms (protecting body)

May become aggressive or violent

“Fight Mindset” - fists clenched, locked on stare, ready to fight. 

“Flee Mindset” - eyes darting around, nervous. 

Slouching or “shrinking”

Stiff eyelids - wide open

Tense muscles - stiff, slouching posture

Unpredictable/quick movements

Events unfold in “slow-motion”

Senses are hyperactive (Better hearing, smell, etc. from adrenaline)

Sense are nonfunctioning (Worse eyesight, unable to recall events after the fact, etc. This can happen to people who are prone to panic attacks, and/or are “stuck in their heads”)

Body Language (Internal Threat)

A common part of a character’s development is their “break”, so to speak. This is when they are too overwhelmed by something they must do or come to terms with, and a common emotion felt during that time is fear. Most people will fear what they don’t know or understand. These traits can be spotted in a character battling these things long before they “break”, or even right before/during. For ease of use, I’ll start with habits you spot earlier on. 

Unhappiness - not as happy doing the things they like, not doing the things they usually do, etc.

Stress - easily angered, snappy, rubbing temples, etc.

Physical venting - exercising, (punching bag, running, etc)

Not sticking to typical schedules (Not going to a cafe they usually do, etc)

Seeming preoccupied or “in their heads”

Becomes emotional at everything

Doing irrational things (feeling like they need to prove themselves, show they are not afraid, they don’t need help, etc)

Unable to listen to the advice of others (believing they know what they need to do, or how it must be done) 

Pushing people away (thinking this is their responsibility alone, that no one can help them, etc)

Unable to stick to or form rational plans (emotion leads them instead of logic)

Twisting reality - unable to clearly see what's happening before them because they are so overwhelmed, or not remember events of the past for the same reasons. (They may blame people who are not responsible for things that have happened to them, because they think that's how it happened. Research about trauma to better understand how humans manipulate reality and memories to cope)

Unhinged anger - lashing out in extreme ways (like when characters with super powers suddenly get very strong when very emotional, or more realistically, when a mother’s child is in danger and adrenaline gives her a sort of super strength)

Signs of insanity - when people deal with extremely difficult things, their mental state may begin to break down. They may talk to themselves, appear perfectly fine in a situation that warrants panic, etc. (Be sure to do research before hand, and always depict mental illness as it actually is.) 

Signs of shock - very quiet, rapid heart rate, dry mouth, clammy and pale skin, nausea and vomiting, dizziness, confusion, disorientation, passing out, loss of memory, screaming, crying, etc. 

Trauma - after the fact, your character may experience symptoms of a person with trauma. (If you want your character to experience this, please do your research first. Always depict mental illness as it actually is, not how you want it to be.)

Verbal Habits (External)

Again, make sure you identify which of these habits might come from a “fight” person or a “flight” person before choosing! 

sharp and angry tone (to make them seem tough)

small voice, trying to seem non confrontational

Trying to make the other party happy - “You got a problem?” “No, no, I was just looking around. I didn’t mean to disturb you...”  

Stuttering or stammering (Please use in moderation!)

“Um...” and “uh...” 

Tries to say something tough,  but since they’re actually afraid, it comes out small and weak - “Just... just leave me alone!” his voice squeaked in fear. 

No words coming out (as if their brain is frozen in fear)

Rambling - “Did you come here last night or not?!” “Me? I was at the bar with... my friends! Yeah, we were just ordering some stuff to eat because we met some nice people (who were really into karaoke) to hang out with, and-” “Answer the question!)

Verbal Habits (Internal)

Not wanting to talk about it - typically, people do not want others to know they are afraid. They may become hostile or upset if the topic is brought up. 

Speech patterns change when talking about it - stuttering, incoherent speech, not “having a point” to what they are saying.

Having an edge to their voice (from being angry) - “Just tell me what’s bothering you.” “Because that always works,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m just trying to help.” 

Bizarre topics of conversation, seeming out of the ordinary or distracted. 

Hello all! I know I’ve been away for some time, but I appreciate the love you guys have been giving this account anyway! I’m so happy to see that you find my work helpful. <3 I hope that this post helps you out in writing some good characters and emotions. Have a lovely day, and happy writing <3

Everyone edits differently, so allow me to share with you a common way editors will go about editing their manuscript! This method is closer to a step-by-step (as close as you can get regarding the imagination) and will help you divide your workload. Let’s get started!

Plot/Content Revisions

If you are unsatisfied with any subplot, character arch, or even the whole direction of your story, you need to fix it first! The reason for this is so that you don’t go and fix grammar issues or choppy sentences only to have to delete it, because you decided that you didn’t want the story to go that direction.

You draft might look a little jumbled up: key plot things are not consistent throughout the story, a character’s personality changed mid way, all that stuff. That’s totally okay, and expected! Now is the time to back fix any inconsistences that will affect the story. 

Remember: Having completed the story will allow you to clearly see your end goal, which should help you identify anything in your story that doesn’t make sense. You are not done this faze until you are totally happy with the story and characters, down to the very fine details!

Paragraph Revisions

Once happy with your story, you can move on to paragraph edits. There’s two main parts to this:

Writing Style - This is how you want to present your story to the reader, or the overall “vibe”. For example, how long or short you narrate scenes, how much dialogue is said, how you describe things, or even the structure of your sentences. 

An author’s style can change depending on which genre they are writing, but typically it remains the same. If it’s your first or second story and you don’t quite have a style you love yet, play around with this! Developing a style is not only another form of “branding” your stories (so people will recognize your work), but it’s also a way for you to come up with unique ways of writing!

Flow - This can be anything from the order in which you present information to the reader, to adjectives placed in a certain way simply because it sounds nicer. If you notice any paragraphs that are hard/unpleasant to read, or that they give information in the wrong order, make sure to give it another shot! 

Line/Sentence Revisions

This will be one of the last steps you do to edit your novel! In this stage, you will go over every sentence, and ensure everythings is properly punctuated and grammatically correct. This can be the more tedious task, but it’s important if you plan to have reader’s understand your story. If you work better listening, you can plug your chapters into apps like google translate or notes, and have an AI read aloud your story. It might help you spot a missing comma or period, since those robots are pretty literal! 

Thanks for reading! The editing process is an important one, so please give it the time it deserves. A lot of professional authors take YEARS to finish just their first draft, so don’t ever beat yourself up about it! 

Happy writing, 

School is out and summer is here! This is the perfect time to put a little more effort into improving your skills, now that you actually have the time. Here’s a few things to do this summer to help improve your writing game!

1) Do a Book Report

“But I just got out of school, I don’t want to do more!” Yeah, I know, and you don’t have to. But let me tell you just how helpful doing a detailed book report can be!

Choose a book that you’re interested in, maybe of a higher reading level than you’re used to. As you read, just jot down some notes about things you notice, like a descriptive sentence you really liked, or an element of grammar you didn’t know before. They best way to learn how to write is by reading, and by making some notes for yourself, you make it even easier! Go slowly, and really absorb the material. I promise that by reading, you’ll subconsciously pick up on writing elements that will help you improve! Plus, who doesn’t like reading on the beach or making fancy notes? 

2) Practice Your Typing 

Being able to type faster will definitely help with meeting those word quotas and finishing chapters faster. Even ten minutes a day is sure to help you grow! Just put on some music or a tv show if you can multitask. 

There are many websites that will help you with memorizing letter placements, increasing speed, count your wpm, and more, all for free! Here are a couple free sites I like:

Keyblr

Helps you memorize key positions

Has a speed indicator (wpm and cpm)

Shows how accurate you are

easy to difficult level lessons (You’ll need to start with the easiest first, though!)

Shows how quickly you improve (confidence boost! (⌐■_■))

You can't backspace in an exercise (Which isn't a problem unless you’re a perfectionist like me) 

Not a lot of real words or sentences. (Better if you really want to memorize key placement, but I find it annoying and boring)

Typing Club

A little more for kids, but very fun :)

Typing games!!! Keeps me entertained 😅

Placement test (So you don’t have to start at the easiest level)

wpm counter 

accuracy percentage 

You can backspace! 

A good mix of random letters (to memorize placement) and complete sentences or paragraphs.

Over 600 lessons, ranging from easy to difficult

There is a premium version, but there really is no need for it.

3) Character/Plot Exercises

A lot of the time, writers have found the perfect character that they want to write a story about, then totally blank on the plot. Other times, a perfect plot idea comes to them, and they have no idea what characters should be in it. These problems can be solved through fun little exercises! I have a list here for you to try out, just for fun. There’s a lot more out there on the internet, so have a look around! any writing you’re doing will help you improve.

Character Creation

Create a character based on a  Craigslist Missed Connections post! Often, the poster will include physical traits and personality traits, so build off of those and see where it goes! 

Look at fashion accessories on pinterest, and make a character who might wear it. You’ll be basing their whole personality off the accessory, so pick an interesting one!

Create the human version of a colour/smell/sound! Look at what the they symbolise and what you associate with it, then make a character out of that.

Plot Creation

Look at images of abandoned places (real photos or art) and explain in detail how those places came to be. 

If you already have a character you like, make something you want them to have. (Something materialist like a cool treasure box, or maybe something more emotional like a relationship. Anything!) Then come up with as many ways as possible to stop them from getting it!

Choose a random page in a book. Then, rewrite the first scene you read as something totally different- make sure it goes in a totally different direction!

Thanks for reading! I hope that you all have an amazing summer, and make sure not to work too hard! After two years of not being able to travel, see your friends, and generally have fun, you deserve to have that vaccine and go do things again.<3 See you all again soon, and happy writing!

If you’re writing a mystery type novel or have a plan for a plot twist, you may want to explore how people express deceit! In this post, we’ll go over how people verbally and nonverbally show that they are are not telling the whole truth, as well as how to use them in your stories. 

Body Language 

Of course, lying is an actual skill. Depending on how good a person is, their body language signs may be more subtle. Be sure to think about how good your character is at lying before choosing some of these habits!

Body Language of a Low Skill Liar

Facial expression contradicts what they say (scowling when talking about someone they say they like, but actually hate)

Touching face - scratching neck/collar bone, picking at skin, etc.

Fake smiles (smile doesn’t reach eyes)

Excessive hand movement/gestures 

Fidgeting (indicates stress)

Stuttering/hesitation

playing with hair

Medium Skill Liar

No eye contact

Rapid blinking, excessive blinking

Weird reactions to what’s being said, as if they practiced reactions. 

Sweating on forehead or neck

Touching the nose

Hesitation

Less use of me/my/mine and instead use they/the/their (because they are making up a story, and when telling a story people tend to distance themselves from it.)

High Skill Liar

Minimal gestures

Can “keep their cool” better

Sudden pauses after an unexpected question is asked (a good liar may prepare the answers of expected questions beforehand, and when given a question they did not prepare for, they will scramble to think of an answer)

Licking lips or rolling them back

Verbal Signs

Awkward or unnatural pauses between speech: “I went to the store... and then the apartment.”

Telling the story a little different every time: “And then he came back.” “I thought you said he didn’t come back?” “Yeah! that’s what I mean...”

Not saying enough

Saying too much (TMI situation)

Change in speech pattern (a person who typically speaks slow is now speaking fast, a person who is used to speak very clearly is now slurring their words together)

An unusual rise or fall in tone (Like how our voices go up at the end of asking a question)

How to Use these Traits

Again, you should first determine how good your character is at lying. If they are very good, they may be harder to write, especially if you yourself are bad at lying (me XD) 

If you pick these traits for your character with their skill in mind, you will better show the reader (through the character’s actions and words) what skill level they are.  

Be sure not to over-use and/clearly outline the body language of your character, because it ends up making the reader feel that something is off. Body language is typically very subtle, even with someone who isn’t very good at lying. This is what I mean:

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said, taking her hand and aggressively pulling the hair behind her ear.

or:

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said, pushing the hair behind her ear. 

The first example makes it extremely obvious something is wrong. If that’s the conclusion you want the reader to come to right away, then go ahead and do that! If you want to draw it out, and make the reader uncertain, the second example is a good way to go. The reader may not realize it right away, but once they figure it out they’ll have an “Aha! That was so obvious, of course she’s lying!” moment. 

For dialogue, it’s really down to the personality of your character (how they normally say things when not lying) and their ability to lie. Things like stuttering or hesitating indicate nervousness, but not necessarily lying. So be careful with that! 

Little things like accidently saying a little too much, or giving away a key part of the mystery is much more common for medium to low skill liars. Also remember that liars don’t typically speak and use the same language as when they are talking normally. Their speed might change, their use of slang might increase or decrease, that kind of stuff all indicates something is wrong.

I think liars are some of the hardest characters to write myself, so doing the research for this post helped me! I hope it helped you too. Thanks for all the love on my blog recently, you guys are awesome! Anyway, thanks for reading and happy writing!

“I am the Dark.

Born in an eternal frost and endless absence of light. Into an empty world, with no solid matter to walk on or wind to carry me. The last beacons of light have died, and I watch as even the voids begin to disappear. And yet, my world is expanding, the darkness expands. 

I am alone. A Goddess with no one to rule. A Goddess with no one to look after. Because everything is gone, forever.

I am the End.” 

-The Goddess of the Black Hole Era, 5 Billion Trillion Trillion Trillion Trillion  Trillion Years into the Future.

If you find that you use the same dialogue tags over and over, try some of these out! Using new words will help you create more vivid description, and help keep your writing fresh. 

Admitted - The person may be reluctant to speak.

Assumed - The person is guessing or unsure. 

Advised - The character is giving advice or instruction.

Beamed - To say happily, with a smile.

Breathed - To say airily or very quietly. 

Comforted - The character is trying to cheer up or help someone who is upset.

Drawled - The character is speaking in a slow and lazy way; they do not care.

Dryly - To say in a hoarse way, indicating the character could be winded or emotionless.

Jabbered - To say quickly and with excitement.

Offhandedly - The character did not think before they spoke; what they said was strange, rude, TMI, etc.

Persuaded -  The character is trying to convince someone of something.

Pointed Out - The character is mentioning something that was not noticed before, or is mentioning again to show importance. 

Retorted - To say sharply with anger.

Slyly - To say sneakily or with the intention of deceiving someone, perhaps the character is lying.

Stammered - The character is uncertain about what they are saying, therefore are stuttering.

Testified - The character is giving important information.

There you go! Hopefully you are able to swap some of these out for some less interesting dialogue tags in your stories! If you’re interested in another post like this, please let me know. I’d be happy to help! Anyway, thanks for reading, and happy writing!

James lifted the hood of his truck as he let a long string of curse words tumble furiously out. He wasn’t sure if it was lucky or not to break down this close to an inhabited town. There were a few shelters scattered about and miraculously, a little gas station. He sighed as he took his small bag of belongings out of the truck and began to walk over to the station. 

The locals looked at him, smiling their evil, yellow-toothed smiles, speaking to him in unintelligible languages. They had all fallen to the radios. It was best to just leave them alone and get out of here as soon as possible. He adjusted the wax in his ears, breathing deep. 

He warily opened the broken glass door to the gas station, eyes scanning the room for radios. Flies were gathering around trashed store shelves and several leaky refrigerators, but no sign of electricity. 

“Oh, no radios here, bud!” 

An old but lively looking man who stood behind the dirty counter winked. James slowly took out the earplugs from his aching ears as he walked over. 

“My truck broke down,” he said quietly. 

“‘Acorse it did! No one would stop here willingly,” he laughed so loud it made James jump. “You’d be surprised to hear you ain’t the first to be in this predicament! Or the second or third, fer that matter!”

James waited for the man to stop laughing.

“But you ain’t here to bicker, ain't you?”

Growing impatient, James shook his head.  

“Well, sure.” The man sighed, almost sounding despondent. “There’s a train graveyard not too far from here. The guy who owns it can give you what you need…” he said, an amused smile dancing across his face. “For a price.”

James nodded his thanks before putting the wax back in his ears, leaving the man to laugh by himself.

The graveyard had more abandoned cars than he thought it would and smelled sharply of gas, metal, and rust. It made his nose wiggle in discomfort and started to give him a headache.

He walked in no particular direction, letting the path of squished yellow weeds direct him to any signs of human life.

“Looking for someone?” A little girl who managed to get on top of a train car popped her gum bubble loudly. She couldn’t be older than twelve. 

James nodded slowly. 

“There aren’t any working radios around here. You can say whatever you want,” she pointed to her wax-free ears. 

James listened for the hypnotizing hum of a radio. When he was satisfied, he quietly asked:

“Where’s the train graveyard owner?”

“You’re looking at her,” she blew another bubble. 

He looked at her skeptically. “....Where are your parents?”

She rolled her eyes. “Where are yours, Mr. Nosey?” 

James waited for a real answer. 

“They’re not here. Now get out of my graveyard,” she snapped. 

A little surprised by her sudden aggression, James stepped back. 

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. If this little girl was the one the man at the gas station referred to, he was going to need her help. 

She scoffed as she hopped down from the train car. “Everyone’s sorry once they need something from you.” 

He reluctantly followed the little girl around.

“What do you need?” she asked, sounding bored as she dragged her dirty fingers across the lined up train cars. 

“The man at the gas station said you could help me.”

“I can help you get out of town, if that’s what you mean.”

James nodded. 

“Okay, but I want something too.” 

James stopped and thought about it. She was still a child. She couldn’t possibly want anything much, right?

 He nodded slowly again. 

“Good. The pocket watch,” she pointed to his green bag, the thin gold chain peaking out. How had she seen it? “I want it.” 

James sighed. She was a smart little girl. Since radio clocks were out, any other form of timekeeping was greatly treasured. Knowing when the radios turned on and off was important if you planned on keeping your conscience to yourself. 

“Is there anything else?” he asked quietly, hoping she would compromise. 

“No,” she frowned and spoke with the whiny tone a child uses when she wants her way. “I want that.”

He sighed again. He had another clock in his bag, a simple watch, but it required a power source. He looked at the girl, her little hands on her hips and face in a deep frown. Perhaps if she could help him get his truck working, he wouldn’t need to worry about that. 

“Fine,” he grumbled, keeping his voice low. “But after you help me.”

“Sure thing,” The girl beamed, all previous anger clear from her face and voice. She held out her hand to shake. James hesitantly shook it. 

“Alrighty, a deal’s a deal. Follow me.” 

James reluctantly followed her through the train graveyard. Weeds and vines rooted the train cars firmly to the ground, and any vandalism could barely be seen through years of dust and grime. The sheer emptiness of it gave him a chill. Did the little girl live here? In one of the cars? James was thinking too much to realize the girl hadn’t asked him what truck he drove or what parts he needed.

“Okay, what you need is in here,” she grunted as she dragged open a train car covered in colourful paintings of flowers and leaves. The sun had bleached the colours a bit, and the rust made it squeak something terrible, but James remained hopeful. 

“Well, what are you waiting for?” The girl said, annoyed. James just nodded as he pulled himself up and into the rusty car, reminding himself of the parts he needed to look for. When he got inside, however, it wasn’t quite like he expected. 

It had mountains of valuables ranging from fresh fruits to perfectly new coats and boots, or rare tools to delicate soaps and candles. James wondered how much he could carry back to his truck.

All this for a measly pocket watch. He nearly laughed. Maybe the girl wasn’t as smart as she looked. He touched the crimson red apples and soft fur-lined coats, just to make sure they were real. Stacks of scented candles lined the walls of the car, and thick, warm blankets dotted the spaces in between. Propped on a few boxes of other goods was a massive, beautiful painting of a zen garden. Where had she gotten this from? 

James’ smile slowly turned into a frown as he inspected it closer.  

The girl said something about the watch so he handed it over, eyes never leaving the painting. Did those bushes move a little?

James tried to take a step back but bumped into the girl, who was half his size but did not falter.

“Alrighty, time to fulfill my end of the bargain,” she said sweetly, breaking him out of his trance.

Fulfill? Bargain? 

“What do you mean?” he asked, confusion colouring his voice.

“Don’t be silly! You asked me to help you get out of town,” she was very calm, a wide smile plastered to her face. 

“No, I asked you for parts for my truck.” 

“What truck? You never brought it up.” 

His mind swirled with dread and panic. He hadn’t realized he was backing up until he hit the painting. 

“Oh well,” she said, blowing another bubble from her pink gum. “The deal we shook on was this pocket watch for your escape, so you get out of here either way!” She smiled the same way the man at the gas station had, right before she pushed him into the painting.

When James opened his eyes again, everything was white except the little Zen garden he was in. Vibrant green bushes and cherry trees that almost looked fake swirled around perfectly until they met him in the middle. It was far too colourful for the white skies and far too exotic to not smell like anything. James began to panic as he saw radios poorly hidden in between bushes and in tree trunks. He desperately began looking for his wax.

While back, I made post on how to fix run on sentences and sentence fragments. It occurred to me that maybe, we should go over how to make a complex sentence the right way, so you don’t have to go back and fix it later!

Alright! Let’s start with a quick explanation of what a complex sentence is, because they are different from compound sentences: 

A complex sentence is made up of one independent clause and at least one dependent clause. 

Some reasons as to why you may want to have complex sentences in your work include making your writing flow nicer, easier to understand, and shows your understanding of more mature writing skills. Now, let’s go over the rules of combining simple sentences in more detail. 

1) You Must Have a Dependent and Independent Clause

To combine two simple sentences, you need a dependent, and independent clause to connect them. I have posts that explain what each of these are, check them it if you want a more thorough explanation!

Dependent Clauses - These words are a little tricky! If you place one at the start of the sentence, they require a comma after the first simple sentence. If you put it in the middle of the two sentences, they do not need a comma. Dependent clauses include words like although, because, whenever, as, and much more. If you’re not sure if a word is dependent or not, look it up! Here are some examples:

Whenever we go to the store, Jamie buys a balloon. ✅

We got hot chocolate after we went skiing. ✅

Because Aiden likes cars we took them to see a race. ❌

Independent Clauses - These ones might screw with your brain a bit! Independent clauses contain a subject and predicate, and therefore can be a standalone sentence. They don’t need any comma or conjunction. 

The girls enjoy sitting outside. ✅

Kyle rode his new bike by himself. ✅

Jack needed a new car, so he saved up. ❌

2) The Two Simple Sentences Must be Related

This rule is very basic, but very important. You cannot have two simple sentences together that have nothing to do with one another! It will confuse the reader. For example:

Ayla washed the dishes, but Jacob got a goldfish. (???)

I’m not even going to give you more examples, because I’m sure you understand why this doesn’t make any sense! Just make sure your two sentences make sense.

Okay! Now that we know how to construct a complex sentence, let’s try it out! A reminder: We need one independent clause, and dependent clause. This means we need two grammatically correct simple sentences to combine. (I’ll bold the dependent clause so you can tell them apart. Try to make one with me!) Let’s try it out!

As night fell, I sat outside. 

The grass was damp because it rained.

After the movie, Mary fell asleep. 

Huzzah! After the long and grueling explanation, you now have the ability to write perfect complex sentences, without grammatical flaws! Things can get more complicated as you add in things like time, or more adjectives, but this this the base for all that! Once you’ve nailed this, you can go on to make them however you want! Thanks for reading, and happy writing. <3

Hello and welcome to the first of a little series I plan to make! Let’s explore different emotions, and how to emulate them better in your writing, starting with anger.

Common Body Language Habits

Usually, angry people will be tense and tight, and their bodies reflect that. Here’s a list of some common physical signs a person is mad:

Clenching teeth

Tight muscles (shoulders, jaw, etc.)

Balled up fists

Increased heartrate

Heavy breathing 

Rubbing temples, head, etc. 

Mouth in a firm line

Tense posture (Ready to fight)

Sweat or heat rash (red spots)

Tearing up

Verbal Habits

When you’re angry, it’s hard to focus on other things. You might find it hard to express your feelings, or maybe tend to be rude or even insulting to others, whether you intend to or not. Your character could be/say any of the following while being angry: 

Overly sarcastic

Raising their voice

Hesitation, unable to put their thoughts into words

Arguing over meaningless things

Saying insults 

Loss of humour

Not processing what’s being said to them

Sighing, scoffing

Wobbly voice, crying

How to Use These Traits

A side note before we begin: usually, anger can make people go one of two ways: so angry that they cry, or so angry that they get violent/aggressive. Be sure to sort out where your character lies first, so that your body language and verbal habits are not contradicting each other. We want the reader to understand the personality of the character, so try it make sure they are consistent. 

Be careful when using body language! It’s super easy to over mention it or stick to more cliché signs on anger, and that can make your story boring. I suggest that you use the “show not tell” method for body language, as you can make it more clear what the character is feeling while adding very nice vivid description. Here’s an example:

Her vision blurred, and pain shot up her legs as her muscles tensed. The sharp taste of iron coated her tongue. 

or...

Her eyes began to water, and she tensed her muscles. She bit tongue until she could taste blood. 

Both of these are great, just different! The second one is a little more direct. It doesn’t require the reader to imagine the scene as much as the second one, but if that’s not a priority for you, don’t worry about it! Sometimes, using show not tell can create very interesting descriptions, so I suggest trying it out anyway. In the end, it’s up to you!

Expressing emotion in dialogue is probably easier. This will be different for everyone, so disregard what the words in this example are, and focus on how I describe how it’s being said. 

“You’re a liar,” he whispered, afraid if he got any louder his voice would break.

“So what?” she laughed. “What’s it to you, hmm? I thought you didn’t care about them.”

His mouth was open, but the words didn’t come. his throat became tight, and eyes blurry. 

I hope you got the impression that while he is mad, he is also so mad that he can’t articulate his thoughts. He’s on the verge of tears, and he can’t trust his voice to hold steady. This is common for many people in real life, when they are experiencing very big emotions. Bonus points if your character previously had been emotionally strong, and is now crying. This shows a more vulnerable side to a character, and will leave an impact on the reader. It’s like when your favourite super badass hero suddenly breaks down, too angry to think. It shows you just how emotionally overloaded they are, and how they are developing. Same goes for a character who is very bad at controlling their emotions, and cries often. If they become strong because they have the motivation to do something important, that also shows the reader how important this scene is to the character, and will bond them. It also leads to good character development! 

Thank you for reading this big post! I hope that it helped you out. If you’re interested in some more posts surrounding writing emotions, let me know! I’ll be happy to deliver. Anyway, thanks and happy writing!

Ah yes, the most weird and confusing of the joining words! If you too are confused about these annoying things, join me as I learn about them as well! 

Dependent Clauses are called dependent because they require additional information to be grammatically correct. They connect two sentence fragments and turn them into one, correct sentences. Unfortunately, they have their own subcategories. Let’s go through them together!

Dependent Clauses - Covering all the bases simply, dependent clauses are joining words. They include words like because, after, before, soon, and many more. Remember: if you place a dependent clause at the start of a sentence, it requires a comma at the end of the first simple sentence you are combining. If it’s in the middle, it does not. Here are two examples of it done in both ways (The dependent clause and attached sentence fragment are in bold):

Because it was raining so hard, they decided to stay inside.

She closed the door after everyone had come in.

Adjective Clauses - Like regular adjectives, adjective clauses are used after the noun to modify it’s meaning. There are three parts to this type of clause: A relative pronoun (whom, which, that) or a relative adverb (where, when, why), a subject and verb, and it must tell us something about the noun. Let’s look at an example to break down:

The cake, which he did not like, was decorated with blue frosting. 

The phrase in bold is the adjective clause. Which is the relative adverb, he is the subject, and did not like is the verb. This sentence covers all the bases, so it’s grammatically correct! Notice that I’ve put commas around the adjective clause. Some people may say that it doesn’t need one, but others may say it does. Personally, I like the way this sentences is read aloud with the commas. As far as I know, it’s a personal preference. 

Adverbial Clauses - Just like regular adverbs, adverbial clauses indicate time, place, manner, etc. Adverbs cover more than just this, but there are so many that I’m going to keep it down to the most commonly used types of adverbs. Anyway, an adverbial clause needs three things: an adverb (when, until, anywhere, like, as, etc.), a subject, and a verb. Here are some examples with the adverbial clause in bold:

When the clock strikes, everyone should be in bed. 

He treats it like it’s a joke. 

In the first example, when is the adverb, the clock is the subject, and strikes is the verb. You may be wonder why everyone isn’t the subject, and that is because it’s not part of the adverbial clause. 

In the second example, like is the adverb, it’s is the subject, and joke is the verb. That one’s a little more tricky, but it does meet the criteria for an adverbial clause. 

Noun Clauses - Noun clauses are a little different from the other ones. They add extra information about the noun not included in the clause. However, just like the others, it still requires a subject and verb. Because there are so many different kinds of nouns, you can really go far with this one! Here are some examples:

I know that the legend is not true. 

I know who owns that. 

These ones are a little trickier! In the first one, the legend is the subject and is is the verb. For the second one, who is the subject and owns is the verb. A little tricky, but if you’re a native English speaker, these should come easily! 

There we go! Hopefully you found this helpful, because I definitely did! Safe to say I won’t be excited about noun clauses, though. Thanks for reading, and happy writing!